Clash of the Titans

I am a parent. I am a warrior. I am an advocate. I am a friend. I am a fighter. I am a peacemaker. I am the recipe for success as well as disaster. 

More often than not, the stories  we hear about parents of special needs kids involve the pain and suffering they endure. Don’t get me wrong, we hear about their success stories as well, but we hear mostly of their suffering. They take on all the pain…..absorb it…internalize it…. And fail to spit it out. This is the pain they feel for their child, their fellow autism parents, their other children and lastly for themselves. Each devastating moment leaving a lasting scar. 

It is this pain that fuels us to fight for our kids, but that same pain can also make us lash out at the people who we relate to the most…. Other parents with children on the spectrum. 

We each possess some unique power (yes, I said power. Like Superman). Some of us have mastered diets. Some have become experts on supplements. Many have become gurus in one area or another while battling their child’s illness. We are always alert……always ready…….ready to strike. 

I am all too familiar with this. After all, I didn’t get the nickname Mamabear for nothing. I am ready to defend the underdog at all times. My claws rarely retract because I know that I have to protect my kids…my family…my friends….my warriors. 

This type of strength and motivation comes at a price. We often are blinded by our fury. We can’t see past the scars and the damage that has been done. We are often reminded of the things that left us feeling abandoned and lost. So…in true warrior fashion, when someone has an opposing opinion, we tend to take it personally. 

Autism is personal. We each have our scars, but they were formed by various contributors. We all are striving to reach the same goal…recovery, yet we take different paths to get there. This is true for the methods, therapies and protocols we use. It is also true for what we draw strength from. Some of us find comfort in our friends, some in science, some in faith. Regardless of where we turn for comfort, we are still a family. We should help each other. We should learn from those who are different and try to form an understanding of why they chose that path. You don’t understand?…….Ask!!!!! You may learn something, and if you don’t, at least you can appreciate that you are in good company. Everyone has something beneficial to offer, especially within the autism community. Everyone here has a common goal. There is a song by Anna Nalick and the lyrics reign true for what I’m trying to convey, so here it is: 

“Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes.

Like they have any right at all to criticize.

Hypocrites, you’re all here for the very same reason”.

With that said,  here is what I’m trying to tell all of you:  When you hear of someone following a different path or choosing a journey that does not resemble your own……embrace it. Learn from it. Appreciate it and remind yourself that we are all trying to get to the same finish line. We have the same goal…..RECOVERY. It doesn’t matter how we get there, but it does matter if we trample on others along the way. 

We are all warriors. We are all strong. We all have something to contribute. We are all Titans. We deal with intolerance every single day from those who CANNOT relate and cannot fathom what we go through. Do we have to cut each other up as well?  The next time you see a post or blog you don’t agree with, or overhear a conversation that conflicts with your beliefs, ask yourself this…”Do I want to learn from this? Can I convey my thoughts and opinions in a constructive fashion? Can I contribute to this without taking something away?” I’m sure that we can all open our eyes, ears and hearts to diversity. Please try…..We’re all in this together. 

Love,

Mamabear

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6 Responses to Clash of the Titans

  1. Sugah says:

    very well said

  2. Marco says:

    There is no disorder charged with more conflict. The vast majority of autism parents are out walking after a little light blue puzzle piece. Us “biomedlers” are by definition in a “permanent state of inflamation” and it often results in hurting those for whom we care. I am guilty of that for sure, and I am always sorry.
    As always, a well written piece.
    But unfortunately bears do not have retractable claws.

  3. Diana Gonzales says:

    ♥ THIS!!! I have so many new Facebook friends and cannot for the life of me understand some of the division between people who actually understand each other the most. I chalk it up to frustration and a need to vent in lieu of hurting someone in their everyday lives. I hope this post creates some self awareness.

  4. Deborah Z. O'Leary (@REALMOMMA2155) says:

    We have the same goal…..RECOVERY. It doesn’t matter how we get there, but it does matter if we trample on others along the way.

    Bravo, Mamabear! Our children and we are all unique and so is their journey to recovery. I often think that we have to be mindful of our fellow warrior moms whose kids have hit a wall or are not responding to treatment. Some of them need to take a break to rethink. Showing them kindness and understanding can go a long way.

  5. Stephanie says:

    Thanks Mamabear for an incredibly important post!

  6. [email protected] says:

    AMEN! We should all be able to share trials and triumphs without cutting one another down and even more detrimental, doing it behind one anothers back. How else can the LORD show HIS glory through our circumstances if we are not sharing and supporting one another?

    1 Thessalonians 5:11
    Therefore, encourage each other and strengthen one another as you
    are doing.

    Ephesians 4:29
    Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what
    is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit
    those who listen.

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