You’ll Never Eat Lunch in This Town Again

Mama MacAs I write this, I am drinking coffee out of a mug that says A Giant Cup of Shut The F*ck Up.

mamamac1

 

In my town, I don’t fit in anymore. Friends don’t like my updates on Facebook. Some of my friends since childhood don’t understand me anymore. Even some family doesn’t really want to hear much about what I think these days. Moms in my town don’t want to hear what I have to say. They think I’m weird. They feel bad that Nick has autism and they want to hear that he is improving, but they don’t want to hear me talk about how he regressed from vaccine injury. They don’t want to hear my opinion that the HPV vaccine and Flu Shot are unsafe and not worth it, or that neurological and physical regressions can
happen with older kids too. They don’t want to know that insurance doesn’t cover the kind of treatment Nick needs. They tell me, “They have a nephew with autism, he’s doing
great, he’s seven and doesn’t speak but the family loves him very much, have I heard about Autism Speaks?”

mamamac2

I’m not talking about it, but I know they don’t want to hear that I think their child’s ADHD is toxin related; be it vaccine damage, food or environmental sensitivities. They aren’t asking and I’m not talking about my concerns about the long-term health impact of stimulant medications like Ritalin or the fact that these medications have never been tested on children, or the wealth of other available options like supplements, diet changes, homeopathy, etc., that might be a safer and more effective long term solution for their child’s issues.  They REALLY don’t want to hear that I think their child’s ADHD or anaphylactic peanut allergy is on the same sickness continuum as Nick’s autism, just at the mildest end. Do they notice that one third of the kids in the typical classroom our 12 year olds share have learning issues? Do they ask themselves why?

When we talk about it, they push back: “the vaccine autism link was debunked, I saw it on the news.” “My husband works for MIT, or Harvard Medical School, or Biogen Idec and he mamac3says that vaccines are safe.” “Do you want to see Polio come back?” “My niece has Leukemia and she’s having Chemo, do you want her to get the flu because you didn’t vaccinate?” “I don’t want my child going to school with unvaccinated children!”

They talk about me when I’m not around. “It’s her grief. She can’t get over the fact that Nick has autism so she blames the vaccines.” “It’s all she talks about. It gets kind of old, quick”. “She does homeopathy, all those doctors, all that money. Why can’t they just love him like he is and use that money to go on a vacation for goodness sake?” “Look, if it really was the vaccines like she says than why isn’t every kid autistic?”

Most of them have moved on without me because I don’t fit in anymore. We are not a normal family doing normal family things. I’m not lonely, although I do miss some of these friendships. I have loads of great people in my life that get me, understand what we are going through, and support us as a family. Some of them I actually get to see once in a while other than on the computer. My reactive stance is to fold in like a turtle, to bring the vulnerable bits inside the shell. I want to stop exposing my pain to a harsh audience and lick my wounds in private. So I take my anger back to the autism moms who get it and comfort me well. They tell me they know it sucks, tell me a story from their own experience, and tell me it won’t hurt as much tomorrow.

Sometimes I feel like, ‘screw the rest of the world I’m just going to heal my own kid.’ It hurts for sure, and my default position when my feelings get hurt is to get angry. If they don’t get where I’m coming from then they can go away; they can leave us alone. But it’s not that simple or clear cut. Some of my friends do get it a little bit or have a growing curiosity about other healing approaches. I also have friends who are traveling their own journey of frustrations with systems they navigate for their kids and have much to teach me as well.

Initially, my need to talk about Nick’s vaccine damage was for comfort and validation. Now, I get and give that comfort and validation in my autism community. These days, my need to talk about Nick’s vaccine and antibiotic induced autism is about advocacy. I don’t want other kids to get sick. I don’t want other moms to feel the pain I feel in my heart. I don’t want other families to have to go through what we have.

A lot of people around me don’t want to hear that I think the kids are sick today. It’s tempting to turn away from them and I do a fair amount because really, who needs this shit? But in the larger world, not so much in my own town, but online through TMR and Nurture Parenting, I feel the need to find a voice that people can hear and will listen to.  In order to reach beyond the borders of the choir, I need to find a tone that is gentle enough, yet carries the strength of the message too.

mamamac4Anger is distancing. I’m not going to change anyone’s mind with anger. Fear makes people want to tune out and go away. I know how I feel when I read 10 back to back posts on Facebook about GMO’s. I want to turn off the computer. I’m not so altruistic that I’m just doing this for non-ASD parent’s benefit. We need them. We need their energy to join our loving army of passionate parents fighting for the health of all children. We need them to be as concerned as we are about the safety of the cleaning products used in schools, or the pesticides used on the playgrounds and soccer fields, or the snack choices in the classroom.

mamamac5

I’m not going away. My primary concern is healing my own child and family and taking care of our wounded autism community. My feelings do get hurt. I do get angry. But, I also wouldn’t be able to forgive myself down the road if I hadn’t spoken up. Once you are a mother, you are a bit of a mother to all children. When I sit by a swimming pool, a part of me is always scanning for a child in trouble. Would I be easier to take if I were the kind of mom that closed my eyes and looked away if a child was choking and struggling in the water? It would be far easier for all of us, including me if I just shut the f*ck up. But I’m not going to.

~MamaMac

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51 Responses to You’ll Never Eat Lunch in This Town Again

  1. Shenna says:

    Thank you so much for this blog. I needed to read this today. Sometimes I feel like my family and I are walking this road alone. Thank you for showing me that we are not.

  2. Holly says:

    I wanted to add here that my son applied to a university and one thing he had to do was submit a letter, in his own words, as to why he chooses to not be vaccinated for measles, mumps, and rubella. We signed waivers for him throughout school, and the threat is always that he can be excused from the requirement but if there is ever an outbreak, he is the one who will have to stay home until it is over. There, of course, has never been an outbreak. The university has dire warnings – he would have to stay away from the first outbreak until 3 weeks after the last confirmed case, no refunds for lost class time, no excused absences, etc. He was intimidated by it, but I reminded him that should this happen, he can always email his teachers and make alternative arrangements. And I reminded him it never happened during his 12 years in schools (both private and public, and both had this same stipulation).

    There is a lot of pressure to yield to this demand. My own grandmother refused vaccinations for her family after being given a small pox vaccination that, she said, “almost ate my arm off.” My mother always feared polio and took the sugar cube version of the vaccine when I was young, but nothing else. She did not want to give us vaccinations, but believed she had to in order to put us into school, so she did; I was five years old by then, so at least I was not a baby. No one mentioned any waivers then, and they don’t now. You have to ask and follow through yourself. No one makes it easy.

    My son has his university waiver and has managed to enroll and is ready for fall. They back off amazingly fast, but they make you work for it. To demand that kids over 18 have to write their own justification in their own words, and in such an intimidating way, as if their reasons may not be good enough, is pretty controlling, I think.

    It takes courage to take this stand. I chose to not discuss it with most people. My mother-in-law found it unbelievable at first, but after many discussions and my loaning her some of my books, she later found herself concerned when her grandchildren chose to vaccinate their babies. Of course, she is an incredibly intelligent, thinking person who considers what others say without automatic dismissal. You don’t find many around like her. She is my true friend and those are too rare.

    For those of you here who have lost friends due to trying your best to do what is right, I say you haven’t lost anything at all except dead weight. I am glad to see you here and appreciate your comments!

  3. Ann Nielsen says:

    It is ebb and flow for me. I follow my gut, do the research, voice my concerns, get outspoken and then crawl back into my shell when I feel that “look” and raised eyebrows in my direction. It helps to read about others on the same page. This gives me strength to know I am not alone on this journey to heal our children. I think I might just come out of my shell a little earlier this time

  4. I GET It says:

    it seems to me, that we have often been in the situation where we are avoided, in much the same way a person might avoid someone with a highly contagious disease. Many act as if what we are coping with is “catchy”…

    also, I am VERY careful not to mention much at all of anything I / we have researched, but it does not seem to matter what type of science research article I mention or show, it is reacted to as if Witchcraft.

    so, why do I/we bother with these sort of relatives? there is a hunger and yearning to have contact with one’s kin. at least for me/us.

  5. Theresa says:

    Thanks for saying this Mama Mac. I don’t get out much, but I try to tell people that their issues and their kids issues are close to my son’s. You are right they don’t want to hear it or us. They want nothing to do with us or our kids. You see they can hide and pretend they or their children are ok. We can’t because our kids behaviors are a dead give away. God forbid they are anything like us. I speak out because Iwant to help, but also I want more people in my corner fighting for the things my kid needs because I can only fight so many battles. There are too many enemies on all the fronts. Recently I went to a Graduation party. There were four families there that had issues besides mine and they were all clueless. I spoke about what I knew and tried to caution them. I should just forward your blog because if they see it and all the other commenters it doesn’t look like I am the crazy one and maybe the message will get through.

  6. Jan says:

    thank you for writing this!!! My son Andrew is 27. My best friend from high school and I lived in the same tenement house when Andrew and her daughter M were born just 2 months apart. Her daughter being little Mom always dragged Andrew around, when they were 2 and 3 years old so he wasn’t playing all alone.
    Today M’s her little girl is going through the diagnostic process and she will get an Autism Diagnosis, I am sure of it. When she first got in touch with me with questions about her daughter, I cried when I finished instant messaging her.
    You said so much but what touched me most was the care for all the kids to come. I too “don’t want other kids to get sick. I don’t want other moms to feel the pain I feel in my heart. I don’t want other families to have to go through what we have.” So thank you thank you for writing this!!

  7. Laura Martin says:

    Ok I am assuming you know much much more on the issue than I do so what should mother’s do? I have a son who is fast approuching his 1st birthday and of course his 12 mos appt and more vaccines. I’m terrified to let him get them (he had past vacines on a spread out schedual) I am reading the Vaccine Book by Dr. Sears and trying to decide what to do. I believe what you say about vacines but it is also hard to not vaccine at all. I want to keep my child safe and make sure he is ok. I just want to do the right thing aand I realize that the “right thing” can be different for different families I find the information very overwhelming and technical. Thank you Mom’s in advance for your help. :)

    • hps says:

      No vaccine works. Dr Sears is an honourable man to be sure but he is very mistaken in thinking that any of them are worthwhile. The book you need to read – and everybody in the world should as well – is Greg Beattie’s Fooling Ourselves.

      Once you’ve done that you can relax in the knowledge that even though all kids will get sick it is impossible for a vaccine to improve anybody’s health. In other words, even if vaccines weren’t extremely dangerous (and they are) there would still be no point getting them.

  8. Linda says:

    This whole journey is fraught with so much pain. The pain of loss, the pain of knowing. I have struggled to blame only the ones responsible for the health disaster we all face. Ignorance is bliss. If it’s not happening to you, IT’S NOT HAPPENING.

  9. Marianna Babayeva says:

    Love you, Mama Mac. I choose to do just that most of the time, shut the f#ck up. I focus on healing my family and concentrate all of my energy on that. Those who don’t get it can go screw themselves. I have been ridiculed and laughed at way too many times for trying non conventional ways. Whatever. I don’t even touch the subject of vaccines. One of DH’s friends told my DH straight out “can you ask your wife to chill with the vaccines and environmental toxins? She’s scaring my wife and making her nervous”. Those who choose to be blind, will remain blind until it bites them in the ass!

  10. Sunflower says:

    The good news is, I see an “awakening” happening. Our children have suffered at such a cost for greed. We will never stop telling our stories, educating others. Thank you for not going away. Thank you for your brilliant words of wisdom. To quote Blaze at the end of the TMR book: “But people are writing about their experiences and talking and taking control of their families’ health, and things are going to change. And this person that I have become won’t shut up until they do”. I just met a lady from church who was a “former” nurse. As one shared earlier, she had to get out of the profession as she morally and ethically could not stand to see what was going on. She was not surprised at all when I shared about our boys. As we work to recover, we share our experience, we encourage others to educate, learn truth, it’s what we do. Thank you Mama Mac for all you do. <3

  11. yankeegirl says:

    I have friend who sometimes acts like a frenemy. I’ve opened up to her about my son and why I think he was injured by vaccines. She’ll show sympathy on one hand then make a point of talking about her highly verbal, preocious granddaughter who is obviously a future mensa candidate (b/c of her superior genes I guess) and how not one of her daughter 50+ friends has a child with autism (so I guess in her world their is no autism crisis). The other day she related how a couple she knows are having a baby. The father has aspergers . My friend quipped “well we know that child isn’t going to be normal” My response was “well alot of “normal parents” have children on the spectrum, its not primarily genetic”. I don’t know why I bother talking about my son with her. sigh.

  12. Suzanne Burrall says:

    Published on Dec 1, 2012
    November 29, 2012 C-SPAN

  13. Holly says:

    I was on the fence about vaccinations and gave a few to my daughter. They caused ear infections; I learned this is a common response and just stopped. No more vaccines. After a lot of research, I was confident by the time my son was born and never vaccinated him. I had to sign waivers all through the time both went to school. But I noticed that there is a lot of crib death following first vaccinations, at 2 months of age. As a substitute teacher, I subbed in classrooms where almost half the kids had autism or learning problems of some kind – that is a lot of kids with problems! A friend told me his 2 year old was progressing nicely, very verbal and happy and loving, then immediately following some shot he got, he withdrew and became autistic. He saw the connection and the change broke his heart. He is dedicated to helping his son recover.

    It is hard to go against the majority, but sometimes we have to. I am so sorry this happened to your son and to all the children in the world who suffer from these kinds of injuries. I admire your courage and determination. There are lots of people who know you are right.

    • Harakhty says:

      Nothing worse than a professional troll. Especially one that throws around intellectual grenades. Karin……how many reactions have you documented? How many have you reported? How many injections have you applied? Perhaps you might comment on the physiological mechanism of a vaccine reaction? You’re obviously well informed, so perhaps a quick few sentences on what you feel is going on in those with immune responses 3 standard deviations from the norm. Oh by the way……..you walk into a morgue and are given the responsibility of determining cause of death. You decide to that “respiratory failure” was cause of death. Why not ? Doesn’t look like their breathing. Only makes sense, right? Well then, “Respiratory Failure” it is. Your right, everyone else is wrong. Bravo, great observation skills. Analytical skills ? Nah……..your probably a little too myopic for that.

    • Holly says:

      Oh, I took philosophy in college, so I don’t need to look up what you suggest. I know that in college a great deal of time is spent in convincing students that common sense is usually incorrect so never trust it. This sets the stage for successful brainwashing of students and had I not gone there at a later than usual age, it surely could have been effective with me. No “post hoc” argument will ever cause me to dismiss what I saw to be true.

      No, dear Karin, your beliefs are just ingrained to the extent that you cannot see what is right before your eyes. However, I did keep a baby book with records that correlated perfectly with the vaccines, although I did not realize it until I had read about the possible connection of ear infections to DPT and went back to check. My “anecdotal” accounts are not conjectured – they are all too real. I lived in a tiny town among other small towns in a large county, and knew of a number of incidents of crib death and these kinds of changes occurring immediately following a child’s first vaccination; there were always notices in the newspaper when children died unexpectedly, and so often right after they turned 2 months old. I had noticed a crib death incident at age 2 months written about in the newspaper. I told my husband I’d bet the child had just received his first shots. A good friend, who is a therapist, was soon visited by the parents of that child and they were broken hearted. They talked of his little behaviors and the things they had loved about him, and off-handedly mentioned that he had just had his first shots less than 24 hours earlier. They did not connect it in any way and my friend was, of course, not about to suggest that correlation. She was just surprised about it.

      It’s okay, Karin, if you choose to not believe a word of any of this. I don’t care. A condescending dismissal will not alter in any way what I know, or the facts as they stand. My children were protected from this, grew up healthy and strong with powerful immune systems, and if they choose, as adults, to receive any vaccinations, that is their choice. I know I did the right thing by them.

    • hps says:

      How do you know vaccines work Karin? I assume you aren’t going to tell us that it is because there is a correlation between the introduction of a vaccine and a reduction in their disease right because, as you say, that would be a fallacy.

      You have no idea what the fallacy actually entails because like all people who believe in vaccines you can’t comprehend logic. The “post hoc ergo propter hoc” is NOT an excuse to dismiss close temporal relationships as coincidences – that is complete lunacy (much like vaccines) – it is about ensuring there isn’t a third variable that is correlated with one of the others. But there is no such third variable in this instance – or at least none of you have volunteered one. So it is reasonable to assume there is a causal relationship. And in the case of challenge dechallenge rechallenge it becomes a dead set certainty.

  14. Dena Laney says:

    I feel the same way about talking to people about a GFCFSF diet. People have even asked us why we torture our child with this diet! Umm, torture? Would you rather I feed him the same crap you feed your child? Mac & Cheese, and other processed crap! Those of us who are enlightened to the truth can share it with others and if they want to listen and hear, they will. We can only hope for that!

  15. Carmen says:

    Your story reminded me of that point in my life I too experienced 15+ years ago. The hard part to handle is that the grief of losing “the child you knew” is happening AT THE SAME TIME as the grief of losing who you “thought” were your friends. It took time to realize the meaning of a TRUE friend. Once I got through the ‘de-cluttering’ phase and survived, I realized I needed to have that happen AND concluded I would rather have a few TRUE FRIENDS in my life than many “surface” friends any day! It does get better. Like you, I choose to continue to speak out and came to terms with “take me or leave me this is who I am”. You are SUCH AN INCREDIBLE woman (I only know you from your posts) and every single time you see yourself in the mirror, remember that too… My son had such a hard time (he’s on the Severe end of the spectrum) dealing with life when things changed. One day at my ‘wits end’ I stated to him “It happens”, and he got it!!! So now even in my own life, when life throws me another curve I say out loud….., “it happens”. It brings life to perspective.

  16. kerry j. sellers says:

    Thank you for saying this. I’m still spinning from a text I received on July 3 rd from my “best friend” (who justhad a baby on June 19) telling me to “just go away.” Wow, we’ve been friends for over ten years and poof!! She’s not the first, won’t be the last. Left, and now there’s room for new friends! :)

  17. Rebecca Lee says:

    It is the same sh#%t with adults, believe me. All the poor people with sub clinical this and that and autoimmune disease and mental illness and depression and anxiety. Just have to wait for the paradigm to shift and do your best to give that stupid paradigm a nudge here and there!

  18. Beth Lambert says:

    Just keep talkin’ and telling it like it is sista. Nice work. xoxo

  19. alison macneil says:

    I am so humbled by these thoughtful comments and so glad to have all of you thinking like me.

  20. Leigh Porter says:

    I want everyone that has a child with one of the 4As(Autism,ADHD,Asthma,and Allergies). Please try water kefir and milk kefir,I did,don’t regret it at all! My child is 15 years old and has just been diagnosed with Autism spectrum disorder. I am a mother that would go thru the fires of hell to fix my child, I have heard all kinds of reasons for what causes Autism,I do think that vaccinations as well as a lot of factors causes these children to have this disorder. I have been reading alot about the subject the last 2 weeks and My mind has not stopped with ideas as well as putting things in action before school starts again. I take Kefir for I.B.S.Allergies and Asthma,never had these problem before I had to have kidney surgery 2 years ago. The antibiotics they gave me killed all the good bacteria in my body. I was so sick and just felt tired all the time,I got to where my body was fighting against me. So I was reading about Kefir an what it could do,I ordered some,set it up,and made the starter. It did wonders for everything I suffered from. I was also curious as to what it would do for Layla after I found out what she had and where it came from. So far she drinks 1/4 cup a day and the very first day she went into detox from just that small amount. It was if she had the flu for a day,but it was doing what it was meant to do. It would blow your mind to see how she has changed in a short time,more outgoing,better sleep,I only have to tell her to do something once,just all good stuff so far. She is functioning and has a lot less of the traits than most,but what she had is going away before my very eyes. She can’t have her tuna like she used to eat all the time,we switched to sea salt,and I give her EDTA 750mg. every morning before breakfast. She always had to have something to sleep every night before, and now she goes to sleep on her own! I’m not here trying to tell you that it’s a cure,but do your homework,check it out and see if it might give you a healthier child.

  21. Mama bird says:

    Say it sister… I try to speak up and have also lost friends it was so amazing to meet you I’m person!

  22. timna says:

    oh. my. So exactly what I’m going thru right this very moment… but with my family – my mom and my sister so the pain is intense. “It pains me to hear you talk about ‘healing L.’ we are all here to heal. L just IS.” “It’s hard to hear you talk about L being sick. Why can’t you accept him for who he is?” My mom’s insistence that what I’m doing doesn’t seem to be working. Three times this week she insisted on that alone. It hurts – that’s putting it mildly. My son is almost 6 and not verbal. Iatrogenic speech loss is not something to take lying down, though… so I will keep on keeping on.

    I am very much searching for a message to give to these people. Still unsure what it should be. Can’t write them off. They are family and I have a NT daughter who would very much like to see her cousins. I know my message needs to include compassion for them. It’s sad that they cannot support me and my family. There is an urge to make them understand, but I cannot force them to see what I see. Really confused on the message. I want to scream, “Get your F*(&ing head out of the clouds.” But I don’t. Still searching for the right message…

  23. nhokkanen says:

    I read you loud and clear!

  24. Caryn says:

    Love it! I feel as if you are in my head. We have somewhat different issues as my son is not vaccinated, rather suffered different assaults. But, I am THAT MOM. With my extended family, former friends and in my school district, I am that very mom that sees pervasive illness in all of our children. Most people don’t want to hear it and all my warrior mom friends already know it. I am with you, sister. Together we are healing kids. Hopefully our own too.

  25. Rainna says:

    This is SOOOO ME right now!!!! Freakin spot on! I am right there with you Mama Mac and I’m not going to shut the fuck up either!!! They will just have to love me for me ;)

  26. Cathy says:

    As a non-ASD mom, I can only say that I *do* hear you. And I believe you are doing a phenomenal job of fighting for your child. I have so much respect for the mothers who actually THINK about what is going on, who are battling their children’s problems with every fiber of their beings. I am thankful for people who try to make others aware of the damages that are done to children through vaccinations and the like.

    I do have children with allergies and ADHD. It’s not the same, but I understand a little bit.

    *I’d* have coffee with you!!! And you could rant as much as you want!

    • AustismMomAlly says:

      As a first-time father-to-be (November!) who is researching these issues ahead of time in an attempt to be pro-active, I just want to give a TREMENDOUS thank you and kudos to EVERYONE on this site and in this “movement” of leaving the mainstream behind when it doesn’t serve our interests or actually HARMS them. There is so much misinformation out there and so much to sort through, from vaccines to obstetrics vs. midwifery to pharmaceuticals to even amalgam (mercury) dental fillings, fluoride (aluminum) added to the drinking water, GMOs, BPA… sometimes the task of protecting my wife and unborn child feels endless and daunting, but with intelligent and courageous parents like you folks out there blazing the trail, I am hopeful and GRATEFUL for what you have already done and what we can achieve in the future.

  27. Fredsta says:

    Excellent description of that innate drive to resolve. For redress, prevention. So frustrating the intent of everyday folks to “just get on with it,” and the pervasive resistance to meaningful and troublesome issues. So keep up the good work, Mama Mac. It’s an uphill battle.

    I come from the victims of the Child Protection Industry category, but have found a similar confounding unwillingness in my immediate community to deal with matters of such great import. Online, much better!

    As for the immunization advocates who tout “herd immunity”: such hypocrisy! as not a one of them is up-to-date on all THEIR vaccines and boosters.

  28. Ca Lo says:

    Injustice and unfairness are more powerful motivators than fear. Anyone who wants to get someone’s attention for their cause should take note. I am thankful everyday for my generally healthy children and the knowledge I have gained to keep them healthy through others shared experiences. I am so angered by the cascade of events that has lead to such a large number of children succumbing to man-made environmental threats, I stand with you all.

  29. Oh, geez, MamaMac, I’m right there with you! Autism or whatever part of the spectrum your child is on changes your perspective so much. You’re right – most people just don’t want to know about all of this. It’s too “gloom and doom” for them, even for the people whose kids ARE affected!

    I’ve had the same problem, too: how can I just pretend that everything is perfect and pretty and fine when it’s not? Dealing with this is too much work and not fun for people, even for the ones who can afford to pay for all of the out-of-pocket expenses that recovering your child entails.

    In my experience, only a very small percentage of parents are willing to take their heads out of the sand and ask, “Why?”

    But, we have each other. Thank God for social media and the internet, otherwise we would all be suffering in silence.

    AND I’m thrilled to be working with such an awesome group of women (guess we just have to go out and make some new, like-minded friends, right?) at Epidemic Answers, where we’re making the Canary Kids documentary to let people know there is more than just gloom and doom, there is hope.

  30. Cindy Howard says:

    I “get” it and I applaud you for speaking out! I do, too. Go, YOU! <3

  31. Laura Hayes says:

    I can so relate, Mama Mac! Way to put into words what many of us are experiencing, just like you, on a daily basis! Thank you for writing it down, as it is encouraging to know there are many other Warrior Moms out there (AKA: Thinking Moms!) who are enduring hurtful battle wound after hurtful battle wound as they try to not only heal and help their own child, but to warn and educate others. An uphill battle, for sure, but one that must be fought. Forge on!

  32. Sherry Bonfardeci says:

    Thank God for people like you! I loved your post. I am not a mother but I am an extremely concerned person that is sooo on board with you. I am a Registered Nurse who left the traditional health care model this year because I could no longer be a part of the problem and was ineffective in making any changes within that system. I have been a nurse for 25 years yet once I really got it about vaccines, food and environmental toxins etc. and the way our current delivery system focuses on sick care rather than well care, I could no longer ethically practice or participate. I had to leave to be able to speak freely against such practices. I could not be part of a hospital system and have a true voice. Now, like you, I work to educate others…and like you, I sometimes feel extremely frustrated as to the level of resistance and wonder why do I bother. Then along will come a post like yours that reminds me and breathes renewed energy into me. With renewed strength I am able to notice the shift in thinking that truly is growing and spreading throughout the country…though it may not yet be noticeable in our “own town” it is out there. So take heart and so will I that we do make a difference and the world is awakening albeit slowly.
    I believe the very resistance that frustrates and exhausts us is brought on by all the toxins we ingest. I call it “wheat head”. Lol My goal is to reach the children. I plan to write children’s books that will teach about good food choices and alternatives to the junk food. I am amazed and delighted that there are children being born to junk food junkie families who request fresh veggies and fruit…do not care for meat etc. The new generation of kids I believe will help to bring about the change people like you and me are working toward.

  33. yankeegirl says:

    The experience of having a vaccine injured child changes you. Like soldiers returning from war, we are never the same- our perspective on the world has changed as far as what is important and what is not. We’ve gone through the looking glass and see how distorted the public’s perception is. I am so thankful for online parent groups. I belong to at least half a dozen yahoo groups and AoA and these parents keep me sane. Even if it’s 2:00 am in the morning, I can go online and vent and chances are good that another parent out there can’t sleep and needs to talk. You are right Alison, unless a parent has been through what we’ve been through, they will never truely understand. Even my own sister told me to move on- I told her when your child is injured- you never get over it. I say, if your child was the victim of a drunk driver would you ever get over it?? silence. I get great satisfaction out of making people think. Occassionally, I do find parents who are genuinely interested and concerned about vaccines and who want to know more. They believe me. They haven’t been conditioned to believe vaccines are super peechy keen and safe like the other 95% of the population. I question everything now and reject much of what the media says- if anything being the parent of a vaccine injured child has taught me to be critical thinker. Always think twice. Don’t accept what you are told by the media afterall they are in the business of protecting industry b/c they depend on industry. Don’t drink the kool-aid no matter what.

  34. Lioness says:

    Kudos to you mama mac. I, for one, am very proud and happy to have you in MY corner.

    You rock. Keep on keeping on and “they” will get it eventually. :)

  35. Mary Cotter says:

    You have just written my thoughts…
    Thank you:)
    We just want to heal our kids and save others

  36. Harakhty says:

    Mass hypnosis and obedience to the archetype of the White Coat is there condition…..hmmmmm, disease. They have been infected with a meme from which ignorance and arrogance are viral. You however have been awoken into conscious awareness. Truth can’t have 50 shades when it comes to the well being of your child. Truth can’t be diluted with $$$. Truth is truth. Truth is absolute. Truth is congruent. History will show that at least 25 % of the population has the genetic potential for bad outcomes. We are at a fork in the road. With forced classroom integration of all children, the up coming generations will have no recollection of times when ASD was 1-10,000. They will not see ASD as damage, nor ponder the cause. They will lose their recognition of canaries. Now is the time to hold strong. You’re a Paul Revere of sorts. Though, they aren’t coming. They are here. They are here and spreading like a cancer.

  37. Gilded Thinker says:

    Get out of my head, MamaMac! Wow. You speak for so many of us. I know many of my old friends think I’ve gone off the deep end. I’ve convinced myself that I’m fine with it, but I’m not. Not really.
    It’s funny. A few friends from my pre-autism days do get it, but mainly.because they, too, are dealing with autism, but mostly, I hear things like, “I get on FB to see what my friends are doing, to see pictures of their families, not to read depressing news articles!” Often, these are the same people that complain about their kids’ behavioral or health problems daily, not realizing (or perhaps in denial) that their kid’s problems are simply a milder version of what my son has.
    A year ago I was invited to join a small group of ladies for once a month get-togethers to play a game. Hubby encouraged me to go because I don’t get to socialize much. Though I did meet a couple of neat women, mostly I felt like an alien dropped on a foreign planet. They don’t get me and my.world and I just couldn’t sit and listen to how their 4 month old was “such a big girl” for taking her shots at her well-check visit that morning – thank God for Tylenol! Or the thinly-veiled snark from one who was pregnant reminding everyone that she got her flu shot to.protect her baby and she *hoped* everyone else had so she would have a healthy baby. After a couple of those nights, I just quit going. Though some do listen, the vast majority still secretly believe we must have done something wrong to have a child with health issues.

  38. susan says:

    MamaMac — you always tell it like you see it, in a beautifully strong, no-nonsense way. I love it. Thanks for looking out for our kids.

  39. Aasiyah says:

    I think many of us mothers with ASD kids experience what you experience. That certainly not going to make your life easier, but at least you know you are not alone, and many of us will never “shut up” or give up. You are a great mother and keep doing what you doing. deep down they know you are right. They just want to fit in so they deny the truth. God bless you!

  40. Meg says:

    I could have written this. Everything you said is exactly how I feel as well. I live in a small town too, and what you described is what I have experience since I started researching the autism-vaccine link 8 years ago. Now I am obsessed with everything and anything related to children’s health, GMO’s, methylation, B-12 shots, my list is long… And my FB “liked” pages (Business of Being Born, Thinking Moms, Biomed Heals, Dr. Bob Sears, Dr. Mercola, Food Inc, Natural News, Greenmed Info, Pesticide Network, etc., feed my need for more info. I find solice in the fact that there are thousands of moms like us, and we need to remember this when we are feeling ignored, and outright shunned by our “friends”. Keep up the incredible work! If we can get through to just ONE mom, its worth it.

  41. Filly says:

    Yes, this is the unfortunate truth. People really don’t want to hear us go on and on about toxins, vaccine injury, food sensitivities, special diets, regressions and all rest of it. I have felt that, more and more over the last couple of years. People just don’t want to hear it anymore. It’s old. It’s easier not to say anything, but I can’t do that. My conscience will not allow it. And when they see my boys hit a regression, depending on what treatment we’re doing, I’m sure a lot of them wonder if I’m crazy and just putting my boys through unnecessary treatment. But then, I get the odd parent at school who comes up to me, and tells me how much my boys have progressed and that I’m doing such a great job! Those are the moments that inspire me to keep talking, and if they don’t want to listen, so be it. I know, little by little, in my own small way, I’m carving out my path in creating awareness and hopefully having an effect on those I come across. This is not just my fight trying to recover my boys, I’m fighting for the future of mankind.

  42. EricW says:

    What other people think isn’t important. The good news is a lot of people are aware of whats been going on now and starting to take the action against the people doing this to us. Anyone still in denial by the transition are going to be in for a bumpy ride.

  43. Ironmuffin says:

    Well said Mama Mac! I almost feel driven to talk about it. Every time I try to shut up about it, it bubbles over and out of me. I completely forget my vow to let the world fend for itself. I’ve never examined my feelings on it or why I think it happens. Great post!

  44. I GET It says:

    I GET it…yes I do.

    – people say/think/act “you should GO on holidays” “you should get some decent furniture” “you should buy something NOT second hand” you SHOULD have the money because such and such…
    — yah well…money gets spent on anything we can think of to improve health…

    – I GET it, relatives and so on……their “attitude”

    sometimes I think it is fear….”I am not going to acknowledge problem xyz, because, gosh…mabye there is SOME of that in “my” family”
    sometimes I think they seriously act as if problem is contagious
    sometimes I think they are hoping to feel superior
    sometims I just don’t know
    sometimes I just don’t care

    Have been asked “why do you other with relatives who act in such and such way?”have
    sometimes I yearn for the hope to have a somewhat “normal” relative relationship
    sometimes I believe if I walked away fr all relatives who acted/believed in those ways, there would be none left…

    I GET it

    • Suzanne Burrall says:

      MamaMac, you are so surrounded by the acknowledgement, love and support of so many.* Thinking Mom’s Revolution is accomplishing just what you have expressed as a desire to communicate in a gentle, reasonable way to the public giving a voice to those of us completely convinced of all the things you have outlined as the problem through their newly published book and interviews such as the one on Fox and Friends (available on YouTube). As a teacher I have shared your journey with both students and their parents. I am so firmly of the same belief as you I am still amazed and horrified that you and other parents still struggle with opinionated friends, relatives, and strangers. I guess I’ve partly just avoided that and partly let people know they are unwelcome visitors to my journey if they can’t share at least some open-mindedness to the rights, suffering and pain of others.
      *Hundreds of thousands of victims, their long-suffering support network, and knowledgeable and/or caring legislators like Bobby Kennedy Jr. and Dan Burton, former Indian Legislator.

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