You may have figured out by now that we are a family. In many ways we are closer to one another than many of us are to our birth families. We don’t fight over who is doing more for Mom and Dad, and we spend time with one another because we WANT to, not because a date on the calendar says we HAVE to.
Like all families, we have different personalities and quirks. Some of us are more responsible than others, while we always know just who to turn to when we need a laugh. Some have potty mouths, and others are ready to say the Rosary at any given moment. Ask any Thinking Mom (or Dad) and they know just which family member to ask a homeopathy question, a scientific question, a chelation question or a political question.
Biological families are bound by the ties of genetics. They have a common thread that runs from generation to generation. We, the members of The Thinking Mom’s Revolution, are bound together by autism. Our children can be found at every end of the spectrum. Some are high functioning and are losing their diagnosis, while others have just begun the journey and the fight.
When I say our children, I do mean OUR because we all look at each other’s kids as if they are our own. I have cried tears of joy when Goddess’ son strung together his first two word sentence. I have listened in anguish as Rev shared yet another heart wrenching story. I have planned weekend getaways around the opportunity to meet up with Sunshine, Mamacita, Mama Mac, Luv Bug and The Professor. When Snap drove what seemed like a zillion miles to see a doctor in my neck of the woods I hosted a gathering for her in my home. Jerry and the Prof joined us with their kids and we had a joyous pre-holiday celebration. As I write, I am counting the days until Prima comes to town and I get to give her a real live bona fide hug. My daughter has been surrounded by love and offered support from all of her TMR “aunts and uncles”. I know that when I share a story, good or bad, with my fellow revolutionaries, that their reaction will mirror my own. They feel my pain. They recognize her suffering. They celebrate our joy. These women and men “get it” like no other group I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.
By now you must be wondering why I am writing about our amazing bond that you have heard about in previous posts. You see, despite the bond, in many ways I am The Black Sheep of this family. My daughter, the reason for my existence, does not suffer from autism. That’s right – no autism here. I bet you are wondering why on earth I would be spending every ounce of spare energy I had with this (amazing) group. Or, more accurately, why did this smart group of autism activists let me in? What could I possibly bring to this group? How could I benefit from this group, and why would they allow me to take one of the coveted spots in the group? Although not suffering from autism, my daughter does have many diagnoses and in many ways mirrors the symptoms that my fellow Thinking Moms (and Dad) report. The speech delays are there as she was non-verbal until age four plus. Motor skill deficits? Yup, she has them too. Social skills you might ask? A hot mess. The academic and cognitive delays are there. So is ADD, behavioral issues and reactive airway disease. I could go on and on about our similarities, but I will not bore you with the details. You will have plenty of time down the road to get to know our story and what truly brings us here. In the meantime, what is important to know is that I BELONG HERE. I may be The Black Sheep of the TMR family. I may not carry the proper membership card or have the appropriate label, however….. I. BELONG. HERE.
SO DO YOU
You may have caught wind of this revolution and group of moms (and dad) that are chatting away about just about anything. You may have come to check it out and thought that it would not speak to you since your enemy was not autism. I am here to tell you otherwise. Pour yourself a cup of coffee (or glass of wine), curl up in your favorite chair and hang out with us for a while. That is how I started and I am amazed at how much I have learned and how many of these so-called autism interventions have benefitted my daughter. We started with homeopathy, moved on to supplemets and then chelation. I have gained more knowledge about how to help my daughter from this group of warriors then I did from ten years of modern medicine. So will you – I promise…and Saints never break their promises.
~ Saint
You guys are great..thx for your transparency..thx for this blog!
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What a great and fitting pen name. So glad you have the support you need. =)
I totally agree with you all. The bond between moms that ‘get it’ is similar to vets that went to war together. It is strong and because so many of our family members don’t ‘get it’, we need that.
Can’t tell u how much I’ve enjoyed the postings so far. Thanks!
You say no autism here. But you say ADD is there. I don’t see a lot of difference. You belong alright.
Yes, Go Allie!
I am always so upset by the Moms/Dads of ADHD/ADD that don’t get it. Nice to hear from Allie.
What a wonderful analogy to describe our bond. I think you nailed it. I really enjoyed your comment – hope to be seeing lots more of you 🙂
LoRenzo has yet to receive a diagnosis but also presents with symptoms of Autism. Thanks you truly are a place for me to feel safe in my emotions because y’all really get how I feel and what we’re going through. Something my family, as wonderful as they are, couldn’t possibly grasp. Tears of joy that I found y’all!
That is exactly how I felt when I found this “family”. I am so glad to have you with us.
You moms (and dad) are AWESOME!! My blender is ready anytime! 😉
Oh man….who’s cutting onions around here? My allergies are flaring up too….that’s all!
I think I have a girl crush on Allie! Go Allie!
Me too! Plus she makes margaritas…totally in love.
Me three 🙂
Every single time I read a post here, I feel as though the author is speaking directly to ME! I have ALWAYS felt like the proverbial Black Sheep in Autism support groups because my Aidan does not have Autism. (Except with my girl, Blaze. She ALWAYS gets me.) Four and a half years ago (at age 3), after we sent the pee to Paris, France, my pediatrician sat us down and said that on paper, Aidan appeared to have SEVERE autism. Having examined Aidan (very verbal, fair eye contact, no stimming), Autism was NOT the diagnosis. Probably ADHD, too soon to tell. But all of the MEDICAL issues found with autism were there – encephalopathy, heavy metal toxicity, food allergies, bacteria/yeast in the gut, high levels of oxidative stress, the list goes on and on. And then there were the behavioral issues – no impulse control, extremely aggressive with peers, over the top emotional, hyperactivity, etc.
Autism? No known cure, right? ADHD? Oh, you just take a pill for that. I’ve actually had someone say to me that she WISHED there was a pill that her child could take to “fix” him. REALLY? For us, the ADHD meds didn’t “fix” a thing, some of the side effects were downright terrifying, and the longterm effects are UNKNOWN. Oh, and they don’t “fix” ANY of the underlying MEDICAL issues. No thanks, not ever again.
Another mom said, through a mutual “friend” that Aidan’s IEP was just MY excuse for his bad behavior. REALLY?? People can be so cruel. And quite honestly, I get so tired of trying to explain Aidan’s complex medical issues to people who really don’t care.
Where does a mom like me fit in? RIGHT HERE! Thank you to ALL of the Thinking Moms (and Dad) for opening your arms and your hearts to EVERYONE struggling to heal their children. I LOVE this site, I LOVE this blog, and I can’t wait to read your book!
Allie – I am so touched by your post. I am glad that you are “home” here and thrilled to validate for you that you are not alone in this!!!!!! You are one smart mama to realize this early in the game that pills do not fix anything. It took me a while to get there, and attribute all of my knowledge to these smart moms and dad. I love my fellow warriors and happy to have you with us!!!!!!
ALL Moms (and Dads) need to THINK, diagnosable kids or not!
You got that right Blaze. Just like a title of a book does not always describe the content, neither does a diagnosis.
Love you right back BK! xoxo
It’s your mind and soul, not your child’s health status, that makes you a “Thinking Mom (or Dad)”. Love you, Saint!
Exactly!
Love you too Luv Bug. Proud to be by your side for this fight.
You are no black sheep to us, sister. We are all one big family. ALL of us! Great article. Love ya! xoxo