It’s 12 am. This is due to post in exactly 8 hours. I sit and burn The Midnight Oil once again this week. It seems there are not enough hours in the day. Not enough days in a week. Months seem to fly by. Over the past few weeks I feel like I’ve hit the wall. So much has gone on and it all has my head spinning. Some critical issues at school, monster yeast flares, a broken arm, diet infractions, friends and family dealing with some serious turmoil…..heavy shit, to say the least.
I’ve started a new job that I LOVE but I am slacking at home….just not enough time. Clean laundry lives in a pile on the table waiting to be folded. My “To Do” list doesn’t get smaller, and I carry over past due tasks to my new lists, complete with highlight, underline, and stars. Still, I just can’t seem to get it done.
I started with a new doctor in January and have since discovered that The Fellas are in worse shape than I thought. After hundreds of dollars worth of labs I find my guys are low in all sorts of good stuff and high in all sorts of bad stuff. We still have a very long road ahead of us. Every day is a battle to get them to take the boat load of supplements and compounded prescription meds necessary to help get their little bodies in balance. You guys know the drill, I’m preaching to the choir 😉 But doing this solo with two kids and no help can be draining.
I’ve started to develop a severe case of The F*ckits.
The F*ckits flare up on me every six months or so, usually when I’m almost completely burned out. I start to question how I am going to do this for the long haul. I begin to doubt myself. My mind races and bouts of insomnia are common.
Looks like it’s time to refill my Rx for Hope…..
I do this every May in Chicago at AutismOne and November in St. Petersburg at NAC. Conferences are where I recharge. It may seem bizarre to some. I take the two weekends a year that I am free of Autism and responsibilities and where do I go? A Caribbean cruise? The Keys? The Pacific Northwest? Nah….I go and drown myself in Autism. I am recharged when I am surrounded by like minds. By people that really get it. No one bats an eye if they overhear a poop convo at Happy Hour. You chat and compare labs, discuss interventions, and make some serious connections with some of the most wonderful people. Sure, I go for the lectures and the presentations, but I get more out of meeting other parents. It makes me remember I am not alone and I got this! Great laughs, new ideas and knowledge, and good friends. It hits my reset button and I return home ready to tackle the next six months, loaded with Hope.
This week, I am heading to Chicago along with so many of you. This year is extra special. I am meeting with some of my favorite people in the world for the very first time. I am seeing others again for our annual hugs. I will meet so many of you all for the first time and I can’t wait!
I’m ready to shake The F*kits and O.D. on Hope (and have a few drinks, a couple of naps, and a TON of laughs and love).
Looking forward to seeing you there!
Safe travels! And don’t forget your Activated Charcoal 😉