My husband and I were at a wine tasting event last weekend, when happenstance found me in a conversation with a retired high school teacher. She rushed compliments at me for working full-time and raising three young children. When talk turned to Harry, her jaw dropped. “I don’t envy YOU”, she said. “THAT is a hard job.” I auto-piloted about finding out early, researching everything, getting him into an amazing VBA program where he has blossomed and can sign, read, write his name and, at 4, is finally on the brink of speech. I talked about just how much progress Harry has made (His ATEC was 115; it is currently 43 and falling) and how mild-mannered and sweet he was when she interrupted my prattle with this gem: “It doesn’t matter what you do. It’ll all change when he is in high school and he masturbates on someone in class.”
Go ahead. Re-read that line and absorb it.
If your first thought is “Ignorant Bitch”, let’s just say you wouldn’t be alone.
The TMR mamas had SO much to say on this as I texted incredulously from the bathroom (and have I said in the last 5 minutes how much I love you guys?). I mean, Harry is four. How does a complete stranger who has never laid eyes on him sum him up with…THAT? We’ve done behavioral interventions since he was 20 months old, and started therapies at 13 months. We’ve done diets, DAN interventions, homeopathy, CEASE, GcMAF and are now treating parasites. We are ON our game, and I spend every waking second immersed in autism in literally every facet of my life. Does none of that matter? Really? Because I for one think it does. I know what I am doing now makes a huge difference. I have no doubt. I have a little boy who is healing before my eyes as proof.
My approach is usually very gentle when discussing autism and its causes; I am not a loud in-your-face person. But the school marm got a schooling all the same. Nicely, but firmly. How many other children has she passed judgment on whose parents don’t have the support system I have to brush her off like the caricature of a human being that she is. What if someone actually took that comment to heart? We hear all the time about moms who take their child’s life and then their own. Is this the kind of poison they are surrounded by?
We left the wine tasting for dinner with friends who were equally incredulous that the same woman was a racist bigot – but that’s a story for another day. For now I’ll take comfort in the fact that I am certain that IF Harry ejaculates on someone down the road, it will be consensual.
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