Daddy Issues.
This is how I described the women who were drawn so deeply and inexplicably to my son (I’m permitted to accuse others of Daddy Issues – I have them myself). Yes, my son was very, very cute. Handsome. And his dwarfism makes him perpetually small and cute – sorta like a Neverland puppy.
But then I noticed it wasn’t just women…it was men…kids…all kinds of people. He was always coming home with things that people that he just met, GAVE to him. I couldn’t fit the attraction into a little box to explain it away. I couldn’t exactly call the attraction he wielded as charisma, as the child could not speak. He did not even look directly at people most of the time.
Then, certain types of personalities of admirers did seem to bubble to the top of the radar. It was the people that didn’t need to be looked in the eye to feel a connection. The people who were satisfied with a fleeting glance – which was enough to make their day or melt their heart.
Hey, what is NOT to be drawn to – he’s mysterious. He does not put on airs, so he is completely authentic and real. Plus he is not completely “available” – so when you get that smile or interaction, it just makes you feel really, really special.
As he got older I did notice that there were people who approached him, and upon not receiving a look or verbal response, were taken aback and retreated hastily. That’s when I realized what the difference was in the people that were taken with him. These were people that saw the “inside”; the potential; or maybe… his soul.
My son is also a “soul seer” – he is drawn to people that are physically very different. I guess we all notice those types of people, but my son’s response is more like “ALRIIIIGHT!!! You are AWESOME! I see you – Do YOU see ME?!” – whether it’s a non-verbal or fully verbal greeting. Running up to a burly “biker dude” that was well over 6′ 2” at Disney world, I tried to catch him and hold him back…silly me – there was no need. The man shouted “Hey Buddy! Good to see you again. How was the Kali Rapids River ride?” They had already met – and bonded. Homeless people, street performers, disabled people …he is drawn to them. Not all of them – but if he’s going to approach someone it will usually be someone outside the norm – or a beautiful woman(that is a totally different subject – LOL).
As his body and mind heal – I notice he is less likely to run off to join hands with Tom who screams in front of our post office, or the woman singing in front of Union Station. He is noticing the world – almost as if the movie has gone to wide screen. He can now see beyond the pinhole of experience he once had. Or maybe it’s more as if, the volume on the world has turned down, so he doesn’t only notice the loudest stereo – he can hear all the individual pieces. But the others – the other soul seers – they still notice him – and still approach him…and he is happy to see them.
oh that is just too freakin cool…God bless you and your son…awesome post..
As you do everyday you ladies inspire and make me smile…. I say this as a mom sitting in a waiting room as my daughter receives speech
I’ve met this kid and I KNOW this is all true about him. I’ve watched him in action. He has an ability to bond with an amazing variety of people. It’s eye and heart opening.
*These were people that saw the “inside”; the potential; or maybe… his soul.
**As his body and mind heal – I notice he is less likely to run off to join hands with Tom who screams in front of our post office, or the woman singing in front of Union Station. He is noticing the world – almost as if the movie has gone to wide screen. He can now see beyond the pinhole of experience he once had
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INTUITION: “a keen and quick insight.” , our intuition is a strong survival tool.
We look for the newest technologies to arm ourselves. but we cannot afford to leave out the natural tool deeply imbedded in our DNA.
http://www.personaldefensenetwork.com/articles/tactics-defensive-issues/the-survival-sixth-sense/
Gavin de Becker describes INTUITION in his books:
( amazing man, loving and sensitive, excellent writer-easy to read, guest on Oprah)
* The Gift of Fear
* Protecting the Gift of Fear ( written after numerous requests from parents)
What many others want to dismiss as coincidence or a gut feeling is in fact a cognitive process, faster than we recognize and far different from the step-by-step thinking we rely on so willingly. We think conscious thought is somehow better, when in fact, intuition is soaring flight compared to the plodding of logic.
Nature’s greatest accomplishment, the human brain, is never more efficient or invested than when its host is at risk. Then, intuition is catapulted to a different level. It is knowing without knowing why.
IT IS KNOWING WITHOUT KNOWING WHY!
I could “sense” something was wrong. It happened to me on many occasions. Often I could look back on the situation and realize my brain was processing the information in my environment faster than I could consciously comprehend.
All these things happened so fast that my “intuition” told me the guy in the corner had a gun, but in fact all the information was being fed to my brain at super-fast speed.
My brain wanted to keep me alive, so I reacted.
I was not surprised to learn that all law enforcement officers have these types of experiences. I use law enforcement officers as an example because all good street cops learn early on in their careers that INTUITION is a tool to help keep them alive.
Gavin de Becker says it best:
“Trust that what causes alarm probably should, because when it comes to danger, intuition is always right in at least two important ways:
1) It is always in response to something.
2) It always has your best interest at heart
I trust my children’s intuition, and mow my own.
My husband and children understandably are unable to trust anyone or anything now–including themselves:
A challenge for all people in our modern and “progressive” society.
* How I regret not trusting my intuition concerning myself, my children, our family:
Doing so was drummed out of me as a child by adults/school/media, as it is for all people under the control of “others”.
I believe it would have saved our family from most of the suffering and struggle we have/do endure.
And it would spare the masses from most evil too.
You do better–
– when you know better AND trust your and most other people’s intuition.
I make reference to the kind of evil that causes injuries/illness/disease/brokenness , the kind of evil that breaks the body-brain-heart-spirit that is the root cause of varying degrees of despair and destruction.
Peace to all victims around the world of every kind of senseless violence.
Your boy is a miracle, and we need more of them.
Wonderful!!! I notice the same thing with my daughter although in smaller, less obvious ways! I know when she latches onto someone, they must be okay no matter what they look like. I can remember being so nervous about the Medicaid lady coming but as soon as she sat down, my daughter went up and sat in her lap. All fears disappeared and I knew this lady must be okay. 🙂
My dear friend, Cacky, said our boys (her boy has the same type of dwarfism as my son) have built in “asshole detectors”. I love her way with words – and whole heartedly agree IronMuffin and Diana!!
OMG OMG OMG!!! I thought this forever! What a comfort to be joined in thought, yet again, by another mama. LoRenzo is capable of warming any heart to him! I thought maybe it was vanity on my part at first but no, in his seven years on this earth, I’ve seen it! Time and again people are so happy to get a look, sentence, or God willing a hug! But like you said he attracts like souls, good people to the core. That’s why I have a hard time with people with rude comments or stares of “get your damn kid!” It bothers me that they can’t see the truth. I have referred to them as “soulless ” on occasion. It’s wonderful to hear from someone else that our children do in fact attract some of the light their souls put out. BTW LoRenzo has a thing for beautiful women too! I shall keep this post in my heart as confirmation of the good, the “God” in our children. Thank you.♥