The Results of a “Well-Child” Visit Retold in a Mad-Libs Format, or just Maddening?

MamacitaEverywhere.  Every state.  Every race.  Across many ethnicities, neighborhoods and communities.  We Thinkers hear it:  All.  The.  Time.  It’s the same story.  Different kid.  Different doctor’s office.  Same regressions and unexpected journey.

Surely you, too, have heard it before.  It goes something like this:

TMR Mad Libs – Well Child Visit

I took my brand new baby to the ___________ (adjective) pediatrician’s office for the second time.

The first “well-baby” visit didn’t go very well at all.  The __________ (adjective) nurse told me quite ___________ (adverb ending in -ly) that she wanted to stick __________ (#between 1-15) vaccines into my child.  “_____(same #)! __________(exclamation)”, I balked.

I looked around the exam room and wondered what my Thinking Moms friends would say about this ___________ (adjective) plan.

catshot**Here’s where things can change for the better.  What if more parents realized they had more of a say in their child’s health care?  Back in the exam room:

I looked around the exam room and wondered what my Thinking Mom friends would say about this ____________ (adjective) plan.

‘Is she __________ (adjective)? Babies don’t __________ (verb) that many vaccines at once,’ I thought.

So, I mustered the courage and said, “_________________(interjection) .  My healthy baby is doing just fine without these ________ (adjective) shots.  I’ve read _________ (# between 1-60) studies preparing for this appointment.  I’ve also witnessed ________ (vaccine-injured child’s name) first-hand vaccine injury.

I know how vaccines ________ (verb) people.   Vaccine injury includes:  _________ (symptom of vax injury), _________ (another symptom of vax injury) and ____________ (yet another symptoms of vax injury).   Vaccine injury is real.

Undeniably, it’s affecting _______  (large number) of kids everywhere.  And, it’s avoidable if ______________ (medical person in the room) would read more.  Where did I learn so much?  __________________ (name of group advocating vaccine safety)  and ________________ (name of website with vaccine safety info).   I also know that _____________ (between 1-48) states offer vaccine exemptions.  So, ____________ (opposite of yes) thanks for the _____________ (adjective) vaccines. My little ____________ (name of baby) won’t be getting any today.

Now, let’s get this ‘well-visit’ started.   Please check her _____________ (body part), measure her  _____________________ (another body part) and  her ___________ (yet another body part) circumference and we’ll be on our way.  If we _____________ (verb) your help later, we’ll be sure to  _____________ (verb) you.”

If you wish to print out the TMR Mad Libs – Well Child Visit, please click here


The number of adverse vaccine reactions is unfortunately growing. Hearing the same types of vaccine-injury stories over and over again reminds me of doing Mad Libs as a kid. Remember? You take a stock paragraph and make it hilarious by filling in the blanks with goofy responses. All kidding aside, I can fill in the blanks above with almost every vaccine-injured kid’s story I know. All I have to do is change the child’s name, the nurse’s or doctor’s name and what the symptoms are. The stories are that similar, all leading up to myriad adverse reactions that could have been prevented.

It doesn’t have to be this way. Our kids have already paid the price for too many too soon. We have enough sad stories with nothing make-believe about them. These types of stories need to end.

I’d rather tell funny stories where everything ends with happily ever after.  I’d like to be able to close the book on my son’s vaccine injury having it end with recovery.  We’re still working toward it, and while we do, I promise to keep telling Ronan’s story.  I do this hoping it knocks someone over the head to get them to think.  I know that despite the scary, the sad and the bad parts, our kids’ stories, when really heard, will make a difference.  One Thinker at a time.

~ Mamacita

* To read more blogs by Mamacita, Click Here

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14 Responses to The Results of a “Well-Child” Visit Retold in a Mad-Libs Format, or just Maddening?

  1. John Harvey says:

    Though it wasn’t clear to me whether this developed into a description of the first or of the second well-child visit, I found it hilariously apt. Thank you for taking the trouble to contrive to express so delightfully this serious message of our ability as parents to base defence of our children on wisdom and hard-won knowledge rather than on social conformity, laziness, powerlessness, and panic.

  2. Jo Hannah says:

    It’s even in the Bible! Matthew 9:12: “Jesus said, ‘It is not the well who need a doctor, but the sick.'”

  3. cia parker says:

    I have Aviva’s book Vaccinations: in my opinion, the best part is the last section of the book, with advice on caring for your child at home if he has one of the formerly common childhood diseases. I love the advice about mustard plasters for cough, herbal teas for fever, viral-lymph formula for mumps, etc., with common-sense advice on monitoring symptoms like fever, and when the symptoms indicate a need for immediate allopathic medical attention. With this and Wendy Lydall’s book Raising a Vaccine-Free Child, with her emphasis on homeopathic remedies to treat severe symptoms of the different diseases, mothers should feel confident about treating these diseases at home in the vast majority of cases.

  4. Thank you, Aviva. We need more docs like you. SO happy to see you landed with Mark Hyman. Please share my blog “Do YOU need a pediatrician?”
    Thanks for this post. Patty

  5. nhokkanen says:

    How timely… I had that experience this afternoon. After saying “no vaccines due to past adverse reactions,” the nurse brought up the topic THREE MORE TIMES. She was on autopilot and not tailoring treatment to the individual. The last thing I said was, “No, I’ve read too much information about adverse reactions.” What I should have said was, “If I’d said he had anaphylaxis after eating peanuts, would you keep pushing me to feed him peanuts?”

  6. Ellen Messer says:

    I know it is great that Mom’s are standing up to the MEDICAL BULLIES, however; my questions is why are we supporting these bullies by giving them our money and time. What the heck is a well-baby check up for…to measure the baby. Come on Mom’s you can do that. This profession is out of control and mad with greed. THINK, THINK, they have no cures, and they hurt and kill babies as human sacrifices to a bogus medical science. A science that does not even acknowledge that there is a god for that matter. It is time to boycott this system of the AMA from hell and demand doctors like and many others you can find at who face the giants of medical doctors who are controlled by drug companies. We have to kill the giant of druggers from hell by stop buying into their health system with out money and time.

  7. Mom worrior says:

    And, they still got OVER PAID.

    If you are educated, and firmly decided on forgoing the vaccines “try” to find a physician that you may have heard through the crunchy mama grapevine is willing to look over the child aka start a paper trail/open a file. NEVER NEVER sign the document that allows your child entered into the state data base.

    Then, only return when the illness is truly over your head. In the meantime, hire and see a chiropracter and seeking out an ND to have in case the need may arise. This business of going to the Ped for every little sniffle is just not safe, and it just keeps these creeps financed and in the illusion of authority.

  8. Aviva Romm says:

    As a medical doctor (Yale, family medicine), midwife and the author of Vaccinations: A Thoughtful Parent’s Guid please let me tell you with absolute clarity: there are 2 primary purposes of the well-child visits:
    1. To weigh your baby and scare the hell out of you about breastfeeding if you baby does not gain weight fast enough according to inappropriately applied measurements and
    2. To make sure your child is in the queue for vaccinations.
    That’s what I was taught.

    We need to take back our health so we know WHEN to go to the doc, what we need, and what our children REALLY need for health. Am I anti-vaccine? Am I anti-medicine. No, not at all. I’m a physician. I am against scaring and disempowering parents and assembly line medicine. Parents need to think and not walk blindly into the doc’s office. For healthy babies who are growing well, in my opinion, the best place to stay is out of the doctor’s office! Respectfully, Aviva Romm

    • luvbugtmr says:

      I think I am in love with Aviva and Mamacita!!! Rock on ladies.

      • Mamacita says:

        Thanks, LuvBug! And yes, Aviva has some wise words I hope more people hear. Thank you for your comment and for sharing your experience. I’ll be checking out your book!


    • YLewis says:

      Thank you for your comment, Dr. Romm! This parent agrees with you (having learned it the hard way) and wishes you had been our doctor!

    • Lioness says:

      WOW. Thanks for you comment!

    • Marco says:

      We are very good at scaling up our businesses as that is what Wall Street likes. So the way to scale up all these doctor’s offices is you create the AAP, then you create a production line schedule that works for the product sale. The AAP pushes the product through and you pay them for the help.
      Then you use a carrot and stick method to get the machine started and running.
      Pretty soon the machine is running itself and all is needed is a fresh supply of “studies”.

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