The Perfect Holiday Dessert: Vodka Cake

Every holiday season we are asked to make something special for a family function. Some make cookies, others bake casseroles, and some prepare appetizers. During the hustle and bustle, I suggest you keep things as simple as possible and put your love into this delicious, easy to prepare cake. You can’t mess it up, but if by chance you do, don’t worry . . . you won’t notice. 😉

Vodka Cake

1 cup sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1 cup water
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar
Lemon juice

4 large eggs
1 bottle vodka
2 cups dried fruit.
1 Tsp vanilla

Sample a cup of vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality then repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to make sure the vodka is still okay.

Try another cup just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl, and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the fruit up off the floor, wash it and put it in the bowl a piece at a time, trying to count it. Mix on the turner.

Did you put vanilla extra track in yet? Oh . . . you drank it when you were testing the vodka? It’s okay, just put rum ererer in. Looks like vaniller.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver Sample the vodka to test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check the vodka.

Now shit shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the vodka and wipe the counter with the cat.

~ Mama Bear

* To read more blogs by Mama Bear, please click here.

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10 Responses to The Perfect Holiday Dessert: Vodka Cake

  1. Pat Raubenheimer says:

    I would like this as an email how can I do this. Very funny.

  2. Jo says:

    I love to laugh! But I’m a THINKING mom not a drunk mom or one who finds humor in drunks. Very little taste in this recipe…

    • ProfessorTMR says:

      Ah, well. The beauty of the world is that there are many kinds of people. We don’t all have the same sense of humor, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

  3. Adrianne Clarke says:

    I needed a laugh…thank you!

  4. Rainna says:

    HILARIOUS!!! I love the funny ones just as much 😉

  5. OMG-I laughed so hard I cried! Great job.

  6. Liora says:

    Hi, is the recipe right though? It does not say BUTTER anywhere in the recipe…but it does in the paragraph. The recipe also includes 1c water. And no Flour. Seriously, I want to try some sort of simple cake….can you pls check the recipe (and yes I know the vodka part is a joke!)

  7. penxta says:

    Love it!

  8. Caryn says:

    LOL! I was initially thi king, I don’t know if I could waste vodka by baking it? This makes more sense.

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