I’m sure that just even reading this blog post title, I already have many of you feeling on the angry or perhaps, feeling defensive. But don’t worry – I’m one of you. I have lived with severe autism in my home for the past 2.5 years. And I am not deranged.
So what on earth could I be talking about? No, I’m not sick and twisted thinking suffering is awesome, nor do I think that life has been easy with my son. So WHAT THE HECK…..right?!
A little more than six-months ago, I was extremely fortunate to drink some of this amazing life-changing elixir, which I affectionately like to refer to as ‘Son-Rise Kool-Aid.’ At it’s core, the Son-Rise Program is a home-based, child-led play therapy based on the attitudes of love and acceptance. (This description is a complete oversimplification — to learn more about the program you can visit their website at www.autismtreatment.org). The first time I heard about the Son-Rise Program, I misunderstood it’s reputation for ‘love and acceptance,’ believing that it just meant sitting around and accepting your child’s diagnosis, pain, toxicity, etc. Naturally, I felt vehemently opposed to such an approach, clicked on to the next post about MB12 shots in whatever yahoo group I was perusing — and resumed breathing.
Fortunately, due to stroke of fate, that was not my last exposure to the program and I’ve actually since attended several of their programs and begun a full-time Son-Rise Program for my son (which has been one of the best interventions we’ve ever done for him to date) in addition to the various biomedical treatments we are implementing to address his medical and health challenges. But this blog post isn’t even about his success with Son-Rise – rather how it has actually helped me totally reframe autism in our lives.
Before Son-Rise, I woke up each day wishing for it to be bedtime. My son’s stimming drove me to madness, and there were days, I thought the unthinkable, all in the name of just making him stop. I spent all my facebook time posting angry rants against Big Pharma, somehow, still never feeling any sense of relief. I would always end up in some massive FB debate spurred on by anger, losing my audience and being written off as a “crazy autism mom.” I trusted no one and was living in one big ball of negativity.
Don’t get me wrong. I am angry about what happened to my son. But I find that by focusing on that, rather than the things I can learn now that it’s happened, was sucking all the life out of me. By changing my attitude, I am able to grow and thrive as a person finding new blessings in my life every day — and guess who wins now? I DO.
Religion, spirituality, self-awareness, therapy, yoga — whatever your elixir – reframing your attitude about your child’s autism can completely make or break your life.
Autism sucks. Yes.
But you know what? It happened. In case you didn’t notice, your child was vaccine-injured. It’s already been done. Living a life of misery is not helping you, and it sure as hell isn’t helping your child.
One thing I was so grateful to learn through Son-Rise is just what energetic beings our children are (no, I’m not referring to their ability to bounce for 12 hours straight without tiring). I had no idea at the time, but my sadness and despair surrounding my son’s autism was actually harming him! Our kids FEEL EVERYTHING. They are hyper sensitive to all of us — our colors, our moods. Being impaired in the conventional means of communicating, they rely on their intuition to gauge if a person or situation is ‘safe’ or predictable. I had no idea at the time, but I was actually driving my son away by constantly living in a world of anger, judgment and despair. I only realized this after changing my attitude and deciding to use his autism as an opportunity.
Whether you believe in G-d, the Universe, the Law of Attraction – the fact of the matter is, you could choose to believe that we were paired with our children for a reason — that they were brought here to teach us something. I’ve chosen to believe and realize that they were brought here to teach us LOADS.
I used to think it was my job just to heal my son and recover him from autism. I now know he was also brought here to HEAL ME.
Because of my son’s autism, I have learned so many lessons – but they are only lessons I was able to learn and see by choosing to see his autism as an opportunity, meant FOR ME, by G-d…the Universe….whatever you want to call it.
Did some CEO of some pharmaceutical company make a killing (literally) off of my son’s health? Yes. Is our medical system completely backwards and corrupt? Yes. Is the truth being concealed in the face of widespread greed? Yes.
Do these facts help me heal him at all? No.
The fact is, at the end of the day, G-d (Universe, whatever) picked ME to be my son’s Mommy for a reason. As far as I’m concerned, by deciding to choose this outlook, the CEOs and the greed just don’t even concern me because this is MY mission, MY opportunity for healing my baby. And, the other benefit to adopting this karmic attitude is that I can believe that they will get theirs too and learn whatever life lesson is intended for them. And it most likely won’t be from my radicalism — more likely will be from slews of recovered children and their parents and good doctors presenting facts, medical literature and evidence of the truth. To me, this is the meaning of ‘REVOLUTION.’
Yeah, maybe I could’ve just been one of those mainstream, mommy-n-me playgroup goers, who doesn’t even know how lucky I am to have my kid developing typically, but you know what? Autism has made me so much of a deeper and thoughtful person whose kid WILL RECOVER and whose entire family has had a major wake-up call in the name of health, wellness, being compassionate, and probably most of all, learning how to LOVE. I’ve made once-in-a-lifetime friends who I will cherish for life, and when our kids are all recovered, will have a greater appreciation for the journey of life than any mainstream momma person I know (no offense to them either – they have their own journeys too).
Without autism, I would be deprived of this journey. Silly sounding? Maybe. But choosing this set of beliefs has allowed me to wake up each morning, ready and eager to be in awe of my son’s next gain rather than watching the hand of my clock tick by, second-by-second, minute-by-minute and hour-by-hour.
Barry Neil Kaufman, the co-founder of the Son-Rise Program always says that life is all a set of make-believes. Why not choose to believe your child’s autism is actually YOUR opportunity?
~ Princess
*TMR does not support or endorse any specific form of therapy or treatment.
The Son Rise Program for autistic children fails to take into account the biological issues associated with autism. These people are a scam. They had a child that was misdiagnosed with autism and claim he was “cured” by their non scientific based program. They jumped on the autism wagon. They created a program they felt would be attractive to desperate parents of truly autistic children. Run. Run away as fast as you can.
Just because the Son-Rise program is not your cup of tea doesn’t mean that it hasn’t made a major positive difference in the lives of many, many people. Whether or not you realize it, the makers of the Son-Rise program DID address medical issues even though they were largely unknown (and probably not nearly as complicated as they are now in our highly toxic world). They put Raun on a strictly organic diet with no dairy. Those two things are STILL making huge changes in the physical issues for many people with autism. By the way, as the Son-Rise program was born approximately 1973 when Samahria first began working with Raun, they could hardly be said to be “jumping on the autism bandwagon.” There WAS no autism bandwagon in 1973. They were virtually on their own.
That’s me in the comment below – 3 and a half years ago – saying I was going for the start-up.
The Son-Rise program is the best thing that ever happened to my family. We’ve been doing a Son-Rise program for years now. One of my sons has recovered (with the program and biomed). The other one, not so much, but he’s a hell of a lot happier than he ever was before. He’s still 100% non-verbal (despite 6 years of intense biomed and 3 years of Son-Rise), but he’s learning to communicate by letter-board. He’s fun, goofy, silly, loving, gentle, snuggly, all those good things. And he wasn’t like that before Son-Rise.
They do NOT fail to take into account the biological factors, and highly recommend finding a good doctor who doesn’t. They recommend a gluten, dairy and sugar free diet. They are not doctors and do not offer medical advice though.
My little one is 6, born right around the time I started considering the Christian faith as a real option. I can tell you that my struggles with her (born with SPD and possibly autism, or that may have come a little later) led me to wholesale dive into my faith. Whatever reason this happened to her, she’s been a blessing and I’ve grown in amazing leaps and bounds. Because this was most likely not vaccine injury (although I clearly suspect environmental/genetic combo), I have a different view and my anger is not against any specific group, but my faith has given me the grace to see this through, to pursue any and all means of treatment, and to hold strong for her. This is a wonderful post, BTW. Shared on Twitter.
I also believe in Karma. The CEOs will get their own. I believe heaven and hell is on this earth and if they are not already living in it, they will.
The greatest gift my son gave me is ‘this moment’ because this moment is sometimes the most fabulous moment in today.
Pingback: March 19, 2012: Princess Kool-Aid | The Thinking Moms' Revolution Starts Here
Hi, Sweet People: A link to this blog was sent to me by a Son-Rise Program mom. As I read through the original blog and the discussion, I felt honored to hear everyone’s voice, including distress expressed in the original blog. We have worked with thousands of moms and dads with children with autism around the globe. For many, it is not easy…to reach out to our children often requires we reach inside and change and develop ourselves to be the best versions to make the most difference possible. That might not be for everyone…but when we take that step, the rewards are beyond anything we might have imagined. So, in the blog on this site…the quote is “autism sucks.” My quote: “autism is a gift and a blessing and our job is to create the vision to embrace the gift and the blessing.” Personally, we have had autism now in two generations of our family…and what do I think about that? Well, I think our family has been twice blessed.
Love and best wishes to all of you, Bears Barry Neil Kaufman, Co-Founder Son-Rise Program & Autism Treatment Center of America & Author “Son-Rise: The Miracles Continues” and “Happiness Is A Choice.”
PS: If you want to know more about The Son-Rise Program and who is currently certified and endorsed to do the Son-Rise Program…check out our website — http://www.autismtreatment.org.
PPS: Just realized that the person above is not currently a Son-Rise Program Child Facilitator — again, check our website to see who is — we have a large staff and also a professional network of folks who keep submitting videos for peer review, keep upgrading their skills and re-certifications. They’re all the best.
Great article, thank you! I am a Son-Rise Child Facilitator, can I link this blog to my website?
Most certainly – thank you!
Love this! You are right that we cannot dwell on how our children were injured by vaccines and/or other toxins our world simply accepts. Here in the now, our children can teach us and the world so much! I believe the positive changes can have a snowball effect and actually fix the initial issues that are causing more and more children to develop autism. I’m so thankful that autism, though damage to the human body, IS reversible. As a mom, I will try my best to improve my son’s life through Son-Rise, diet and biomedical interventions and hope to inspire other moms to stay the course, trusting in the power of LOVE. Thanks so much for sharing and being a light to others in similar situations!
Beautiful prose and very intense. I share it totally.
Beautiful post!!! I think you read my mind. There isn’t a moment that goes by that I wouldn’t get rid of my daughter’s Autism in a heartbeat, but I wouldn’t trade the lessons I’ve learned for the world! She has been a gift.
Excellent post! As a fellow Son Rise mom I am thankful for you bringing attention to the Son Rise Program. It is such a life changing program…for everyone. Thank you!
I am with you princess. SonRise has been the best gift my husband and I gave our marriage and family since autism times 4 occurred under our roof, for each of our 4 children. The gift we have been given to enjoy our children wholly without judgement and still work diligently on recovery on all fronts. It’s not easy, but our healing is under way and we are leading our tribe.
Momma T. Of http://www.detourautism.blogspot.com
Wonderful! You realizations are remarkable and I will be sharing this with a number of people.
What a thoughtful and beautiful post! The Kaufman’s have changed a lot of lives by teaching people how to change their beliefs and therefore their feelings. I noticed long before my attending Son-Rise that my daughter was very sensitive to energy. When someone comes to our house that is relaxed and optimistic she will hug them, smile at them and want to be with them. When someone arrives who is generally burnt out, she withdraws into herself and her autism actually seems heightened. Surrounding our children in a cocoon of love and positive energy while they heal is just what they all need. The attitudinal adjustment is life changing on so many levels. Thank you for a great blog!
I think I needed to read this post right now…it’s come along at the right time. Thanks.
Pingback: AUTISM: Curse or Opportunity? | thinkingmomsrevolution | My Autism Site | All About Autism
Thanks Princess!
I’m a Son-Rise mom too, and I would definitely classify myself as not being a kool-aid drinker in general. That being said, this program is AMAZING!! There is a way to show our children how much we love them while providing them with the best lives they can have RIGHT NOW as well as in the future! I am not trying to say that I think this is the only way, but it is what is working for me and for my gorgeous (in body, spirit and ability) little boy! Thanks for the post, it means a lot to a whole bunch of amazing people!
Pingback: Autism/PDD - The News You Need This Week | Our Special Families Village
He is blessed to have you. You are blessed to have him and I am blessed to read this and realise that there are others who think like me. Thank you.
I’m going to the Son-Rise start-up next month. SO EXCITED. 🙂
My husband read “Happiness is a Choice” and it really revolutionized his thinking. The Kaufmans are amazing.
I don’t believe in “You’re the parent for a reason” (I’m Christian, but not into the “God as puppeteer” theology), but I do strongly believe that I can make the most of it, that I can learn from them, and that they can learn from me.
Right on!
i really appreciate your writing this
Lovely!!!!! So positive and uplifting. I think this post will help many many parents out there. It’s just good to get a fresh perspective whenever we can!
I have stayed with a loving family here in Singapore. They did a great job in helping their son with autism. There are many families in the Philippines who needs to be informed and become more aware of autism. The world becomes a better place because more people are involved.
Love it!!!! :* when you’re talented.. you are….!! thanks
Princess, you have no idea how much I needed to hear/read this. Thank you. So very much.
Me too…badly. And tomorrow is another day – a new day. And I will go to bed with excitement tonight, to see what it brings my son…instead of anxiety over how difficult it might be. Thank you.