I live in Brooklyn, New York. You know, one of those states that got pounded by Hurricane Sandy. My favorite grocery store was flooded long before the peak of the “storm surge” that did so much damage. And I’ve been studying my little heart out for a certification exam that I did not get to take last Friday, because there was no easy way to cross the river into Manhattan. So I’m not in the best of moods at the moment, and, consequently, not feeling much like writing. I like writing when I feel “fired up.” Not only do I not feel “fired up,” one could say that I feel “dragged down.” Which is probably why the topic on my mind is one that “drags down” more of my special-needs parent friends than almost any other: the heartbreak of watching people they care about go through virtually the same experiences, despite the warnings they have received.
If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you know that my friends the Thinking Moms are very generous people. They are generous with their hearts, their time, and — perhaps most of all — their stories. And sometimes it seems like every other day one of them reports a story of some friend or relative who either just “got the diagnosis” or will get one as soon as the evaluation is complete. Now that would be difficult for any friend or loved one to hear, but it can be downright heartbreaking for these warriors. Why? For the simple reason that they are “out there” on the front lines sharing their stories – difficult as it is – every day just so that other families will not have to go through the same things they’ve been through. (Reading that statement back, it occurs to me yet again that I am an understater: “Difficult”? Hah! Try “gut-wrenching,” or “insanity-inducing”!) And these people didn’t listen. The George Santayana quote, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it,” is as true when it comes to the development of autism as it is to every other type of event in history.
Why don’t people listen?
We’ve heard all kinds of reasons. “My doctor said it’s very safe.” “The ER resident said the febrile seizures had nothing to do with his shots.” “My doctor says autism is genetic.” “That doctor in England was disgraced.” When it comes down to it, these people simply didn’t believe us. Why didn’t they believe us? People don’t believe us because they don’t want to believe us. Not because they’ve done investigation of their own — most haven’t done anything beyond reading the mainstream news or asking their pediatrician a question or two. Not because we’re not telling the truth. Not because we’re wild-eyed, hysterical crazies. These people are our family and friends. They know us. They know we’re intelligent, educated, loving, and capable human beings, and still they don’t believe us. That’s a bitter pill to swallow. If they don’t believe us, who will?
They don’t want to believe us because it’s easier to believe their doctors. It’s easier to believe the mainstream press. It’s easier to go along with the prevailing wind than to fight it. And it’s easier to go along with the prevailing wind if you believe what you’re doing is right, whether or not that belief bears any relation to reality. Believing what we say would take a massive shift in their worldview, and they’re just not ready for that.
Until it happens to them. And then – suddenly – they are!
Unfortunately in one respect, the number of people whose eyes have been opened is growing by leaps and bounds. I say unfortunately because the main reason is that there are now so very many sick children. A 2010 survey said that one in four parents now believe that vaccines cause autism. Despite the steady stream of misinformation in the mainstream press (see “Critical Thinking 101” ), people — large numbers of people — are starting to pay attention. Most have not felt strongly enough to defy their pediatricians when they get stroppy or strident, but many have postponed vaccines until their children are older than the CDC-recommended age. Many are denying the more obviously useless vaccines (see “Birth of a Warrior” ), and many are confessing that they suspect the U.S. vaccine schedule of being overloaded and unsafe for children. (Heck, even staunch vaccine supporters will admit they have doubts about that one!) My friends and I get frequent requests for information on how to obtain philosophical or religious exemptions from vaccination. All in all, huge progress and something to cheer about. The paradigm is shifting.
That’s the good news. The bad news is that this shift is going to take a while, and it’s going to be uncomfortable for people. So they’re going to be grumpy. And they’re going to blame the messenger, because that’s what people do when they’re grumpy and they get bad news. And, yep, you guessed it: The “messenger” is us.
Personally, I believe that what we are doing here is extremely important, that changing the prevailing health paradigm is one of the most important issues of our time. This country must address its dismal failures with regard to the health of its most vulnerable citizens — and soon — or we are going to lose everything that we have come to expect as Americans. Already 43% of our children face chronic illness, more than 50% if you count obesity — and you really should. We’re losing ground on life expectancy. Most seniors are on dangerous combinations of prescription drugs, and almost half of Americans 85 and older show signs of Alzheimer’s. Nearly two percent of 12-year-old boys are on the autism spectrum. Not even the biggest champion of neurodiversity could challenge the fact that if that number continues to grow like it has been (and — please — can we all stop pretending that it’s “unclear” whether or not the rise is real or it’s due to “better diagnosis? Ask any teacher with more than ten years experience: The rise is all-too-frighteningly real), it’s going to cost this country more than it can afford in therapies, supplements, drugs, lost manpower, and lost income in future years.
So how do you stay “up” for the fight of your life when your heart is being broken on a seemingly daily basis? First off, you do what we do. You share your despair with like-minded beings who know how hard it is to be “out there.” Secondly, you remind yourself whenever you can of the success stories, the signs that minds are changing. And if you can’t remember, that’s one of those things those like-minded beings tend to be really good at reminding you. When you have to, you take a break from dealing with rabid vaccine apologists on mainstream media stories that you know have gotten it all wrong because you went and read the study that the story was based on.
And you report every story you can find of someone who listened and whose child is now recovered or nearly recovered, or better yet, never even got sick. I’ll be honest with you: We here at the Thinking Moms live for those stories. They keep us going. You should see the sobfest that goes on behind the scenes in our Facebook group when someone posts one. That’s when we know what we’re doing is important and that we’re going to win. But it’s going to be a long haul, and we’re going to need every bit of help we can get.
So… do us all a favor! Help us keep energized to keep fighting. Give us your best success story in the comments. I guarantee you, you will make more than one person’s day. And you’ll give us the injection of energy and enthusiasm we need to keep going.
~ Professor
P.S. It’s also good to honor those heroes who have already been at this sometimes thankless job for years, people like Lyn Redwood, Elizabeth Birt, Bernard Rimland, Rebecca Estepp, Mark Blaxill, Dan Olmstead, Ginger Taylor, Marcella Piper-Terry, Cynthia Cournoyer, David Kirby, Louise Kuo Habakus, Mary Holland, Michael Belkin, Anne Dachel, Ed and Teri Arranga, Barbara Loe Fisher, Lisa Ackerman and Katie Wright. Our own Blaze recently honored Lujene Clark. Who else would you like to thank?
To read more blogs by Professor, Click Here.
I have spent three long years researching medicine every night pouring over countless websites support groups and my son has made slow but steady progress sometimes it is more of a zig zag, however he is light years away from the non verbal violent mess he was at age three….I fought hard to heal him…with no doctors begging lieing and borrowing for money for all his supps…..I will continue the fight to educate people but it is a tough and dangerous fight because when you question peoples reality most people will want to attack you
Yep, Channa. There’s no question that there’s a lot of groundless attacking going on. That’s why we need our networks of peeps. Frankly, I don’t know how Galileo did it. He must have been very lonely. Hang with us. We’ve all been wounded in the fight, so we know the ways to heal.
thank you professor
I have an unvaccinated child with autism. I listened to the moms, chiropractors and holistic health practitioners that said “don’t vaccinate”. My child has autism. I am not sorry that I refused vaccinations and I believe that vaccinations can cause or contribute to autism…. But not in my child’s case.
There are many that feel they are not believed and they are attacked for simply being the messenger and telling their story. Some of them (not all) don’t believe me, and attack me for being the messenger and telling my story. I’ve been made very unwelcome in many cases for simply saying “Vaccine precaution is important but it isn’t the whole deal!”. So maybe we all have to be careful and listen as much as we expect to be listened to and respond as we would like to be responded to.
Sandra-were YOU vaccinated though?
Sandra,
You are exactly right vaccines are NOT the only reason children develop autism, delays allergies etc etc …Our food is poisioned and we continue to poision the planet as humans.It is defiantely a man made epidemic. If you had vaccinated on top of this your child may have been injured alot more than he or she is already.You still made the right choice. The garbage in vaccines are just that, garbage.
We here at the Thinking Moms have kids that regressed from antibiotics, surgery/anesthesia, Lyme, etc. We are all over the map in what happened to our babies. Vaccines are a huge part, but we agree, not the whole picture. We soldier on for all of our kids, right!? xo
Sandra, as you’ll see if you read back over my LAST post (Critical Thinking 101), we here at the Thinking Moms tend to trust parents when it comes to their children. And each and every one of us knows someone who has a child who was not vaccinated and has autism anyway. None of us will ever say that vaccines are the ONLY pathway to autism, just that they are among the most prevalent. Antibiotics were VERY important in the histories of many, many sick children.
(I think that’s even more ironic than the vaccines. At least the vaccines are supposed to be preventive and you can deny them, but what if your kid has a really bad infection and you think they need an antibiotic to survive? That is when you tread as carefully as you can and you make damned sure that you are doing whatever you can to build UP your child’s immune system. Probiotics are a NECESSITY with EVERY round of antibiotics and don’t let ANYONE tell you otherwise. Avoid Tylenol like the plague. It reduces glutathione, which is one of the main chemicals your body uses to get rid of dangerous substances.)
In my book there isn’t any room for people to deny your experience, when they’re so pissed off at the world for others denying theirs. This is yet another area where we all have to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
GMO baby formula, antibiotics, and vaccines were all equally damaging in my sons case
@Sandra – I’m very sorry that your child has autism. I still believe that vaccines cause autism, but they may not be the only cause. I believe that there is a hereditary factor (some children may be predisposed to autism and it may be triggered by a vaccine). It could be something that happened during pregnancy. I can’t say without knowing all of your background and all the details. But I feel strongly that vaccines are the main cause or “trigger,” and it is outrageous that the public is told that there is no connection between vaccines and autism. It could be that it is vaccines plus one, two, or three other factors that occur or exist simultaneously. This is why not EVERY child becomes autistic after a vaccination. For example, if a child has a cold or a fever at the time of receiving a vaccination, I am sure that child is more likely to be harmed by the vaccine. If a pregnant woman has a lot of “silver” fillings (which contain mercury) in her mouth, that could affect the unborn child. It is possible that if a child is on antibiotics when receiving a vaccination, that may somehow increase the chance of developing autism (I don’t have a way of proving this, I’m just mentioning it as one possibility. My granddaughter has Asperger’s Syndrome, a form of autism–she was often on antibiotics as a baby and young child.) It is even possible that acetaminophen (Tylenol) may play a role. Also, it seems to be common sense (to me) that giving a child a large number of vaccines at one doctor visit–at one time–is a reckless thing to do.
Me too, Sandra! Okay, we’re starting the eval process on Thursday, so we’re not ‘official’, but whatever . . . I know what I see behaviorally, how he regresses on the wrong foods and in stressful situaitons, etc.
I’m pretty sure that the main culprits for my guy were antibiotics (I had a RAGING sinus infection a week before my c-section, then he had jaundice and thrush . . . so he had three sets of antibiotics in his first two months), combined with the Vit K shot, an accidental serving of Splenda (which resulted in a VERY mild Stevens-Johnson-type rash), and who knows what kind of neuro-toxic cleaners at the daycare they used to attend.
I’ve seen progress with special diets (GAPS, GFCF, no artificial anything), essential oils, regular Chiropractic care, and other ‘autism-focused’ natural modalities and supplements. I’m 99% positive that my son is chemically-injured, I just need the label to get some more testing covered and to get some much-needed OT help.
You’re not alone, Sandra!! None of us are, though at times I know *I* feel like an island (so I come here and pray for you all). Keep sharing, researching, and educating the people around you! Plant seeds of knowledge . . . you never know who might come along and water them with further testimony.
Allie, be VERY careful around Splenda in future. Stephens-Johnson reactions tend to increase in severity, and they can be VERY dangerous. I’ve had codeine exactly twice in my life. The first time resulted in a mild rash. The second time, I got a fever, threw up, got a rash that covered every area with significant numbers of lymph nodes, and spent the next week peeling as though I’d had a sunburn. I don’t want to see what would happen the third time.
It can be so disheartening, but I am recovering my son and more of my friends are paying attention. I have been able to share our story with at least 3 young moms who decided not to vaccinate after giving birth, and have started getting emails weekly from friends of friends who ask for advice about diet and supplements for their sick children. It is hard, but one by one, we can make a difference.
Woot! Three young moms who are NOT going to vaccinate is awesome! One by one we ARE making a difference. <3
We have been GF/CF free, for almost 1 year, we have done over 40 H-bot dives (and continue to do them daily), and on a supplement schedule for about 9 months now. My boy is 6yrs old. He stopped tantrum, he is talking more (although a lot is echolalia) and asked me a question for the first time ever this week. He tested in the 80th percentile of his class this year vs. a “non-testable” status last year when we were not treating his autism with bio-med intervention. My hope (obviously) is to recover my son and gain credibility to help others. That’s what did it for me. It was a mom in the same boat who showed me the way.
Dee, if anyone who knows you knows that your son went from “untestable” to the 80th percentile in one year, you have credibility already. That doesn’t happen by accident. That happens with hard work, determination, a lot of love and at least a little luck. So glad you listened to that other mom. Don’t let ANYONE say, “I guess he just grew out of it.” (And, yes, LOTS of us have heard that gem. Um… no. Kids don’t just “grow out of” autism, apraxia, etc., etc., etc. If they did, there wouldn’t still be so many pediatricians recommending institutionalization for children with severe autism.)
Amen Prof!! I had a sweet, helpful someone try to encourage me to just go with the flow and sort-of ignore my guy’s symptoms . . . to see if he’ll just ‘grow out of’ his ‘autistic tendencies’. “Lots of kids do, ya know!” she said.
What. Evah.
Good for you, DEE!!
Thank you professor & Allie. We still have a long way to go but we are seeing improvements everyday. I hate to hear the hopelessness so many parents have when it comes to autism. This is hope, there is something you can do…autism is not a mystery we know nothing about. Dr. Buckley’s book “Healing Our Autistic Children” really explains the chemistry behind autism and how the body works. She and other parents with autistic children have helped our family immensely.
Amazing post! Because I am so vocal about my son’s injuries, I have had a number of people question vaccines and either delay or deny… but it hurts that some of my closest friends do not believe this could happen. I have been de-friended over this autism/vaccine non-sense. I will not let these people stand in my way. The truth will be told! My son was diagnosed 4 years ago and we have done diet modifications, supplements, aba, speech, occupational therapy and neurofeedback. All of these have helped, but it wasn’t until we started chelation and removing these poisons from his body, have we seen amazing results. He may never lose his diagnosis, but I want his body healthy.
Melissa, thanks for the compliment on the post. 🙂 Sounds like you’re doing an amazing job all around. You have such a great attitude that I wouldn’t be surprised if your son does lose his diagnosis.
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Jim Humble and Andreas Kalcker, THANK YOU!!! 66 and counting…thank you!
There will be many thanking you, I’m sure, Kerri. Keep up the good work!
Yesterday was both a bright day and a dark day for me. My eldest (now 13), who has been working incredibly hard at recovery for 11 years (over 17,000 hours in 1:1 therapy, to date), attends a mainstream Montessori where she works hard to stay grade-level and tries hard to be socially appropriate had a bad day. First, she lied to me the night before when I asked whether she had finished all of her homework (how many parents actually secretly smile when their child lies?!), so she got a “behavior sheet” to complete and bring home to have me sign. But that wasn’t really the worst part of her day, the worst part was when the girl she has called her “best friend” for the last 6 years invited her little sister to her overnight slumber party.
Now, I guess I should have seen this coming because last week, the same girl gave out two “best friend” necklaces – one to K’s little sister, and one to another girl in the class (never mind that K has given this girl at least 2 of these necklaces)…In K’s sister’s defense, S IS a really cool and bright kid – who wouldn’t want to be her friend? But still, how does one explain to K that the girl she adores could give a rat’s a$$ about her?
So, we constructed a Social Story about what a best friend is (or isn’t) and K got to apply the best friend test to this girl and was able to determine that this girl is definitely NOT a “best friend.” It was heart-wrenching to watch K go through this experience (especially knowing that it has been, and always will be, a recurring theme in her life). On the bright side, this process allowed K to recognize and truly appreciate a new student that entered her classroom this year – a young man who stands up for her, encourages her, and likes her just the way she is. We are going to do something fun the night of that party (her sister is welcome to choose to attend either event), and maybe we will even invite K’s real best friend to join us!
Great job, Liz! Way to turn what seems to be a negative into a positive. I remember going to OA meetings many long years ago and one meeting used to have people come up and “pitch,” but before they did they would ask that you share something positive, or a negative that you turned into a positive. Some people turned those negatives positive right before our eyes. Other meetings that didn’t have the same request would turn into long litanies of bad things, and — surprise, surprise! — the people at those meetings were not doing as well as the people who went to that other meeting.
My friend Megan who recovered her daughter and has helped me immensely every step of the way with healing my daughter
We heart Megan, and we know you’ll be paying it forward when you can say the same about your daughter.
I haven’t shared this with you guys, but I have a very small circle of friends in the non-autism world. And out of this very small circle, four have told me that they have changed the way they see vaccines now, one I know is seeking an alternative, safer schedule for her baby, and another has signed a waiver declining vaccines altogether for her baby. We are changing things, one person at a time. xoxo
That’s great news, B.K.! xoxo
lets not forget Kim Stagliano!
Damn, Tara! Thanks. In my defense I forgot a bunch that I added after somebody caught it…
🙂 So my “defense” is that I didn’t just forget Kim, I forgot a whole lot of people!
This is an amazing article! I am so very greatful for people like you who are getting the word out there. I’ve been trying for a little while now but I mostly get opposition, especially from family. I don’t know why people think that they don’t need to hear about any of it and that everyone needs to “mind their business” and not say anything (I’ve never said anything directly to anyone but they still get mad smh). If it were reversed I would want to know. I would hope that someone was brave enough to go against the crowd and save my child. I am very thankful for my mom who, in the late 80’s, found out about all the dangers and didn’t get me vaccinated, she was brave back before the Internet and all the easy ways we can get information these days. I have an extremely advanced and healthy son because of her and people like you who were brave enough to tell your stories.
Hi, Kassi! Sorry I missed this on my first run through. I was working with a tiny monitor after the hurricane. My big one is working again, so I can see much more! Keep in mind that people don’t want to hear it because you’re challenging major assumptions that they have built their lives upon. It’s a big deal to be open to changing that. Try to be patient with them, even if they are not patient with you. Eventually, that alone will get through the denial. The intelligence that lies within will recognize authenticity and start the change.
Because I have found y’all and share so much off this blog, my niece who is due to have her baby boy Sunday, has chosen to not vaccinate! Another one of my niece’s friends just inboxed me and asked for info on how to get exemptions in her state. I posted on facebook her dilemma and Thinking Moms that I haven’t met (yet) answered the call to arms from a fellow warrior! You’ll be happy to know this friend is an R.N. I actually have lots of friends in the medical field who read my posts and have asked me why I feel this way. I send them articles and websites and tell them to see with their own eyes and come to their own conclusions while regarding my story it’s my story that has solidified their belief, they saw and heard firsthand what LoRenzo and I went through. We recently obtained a new provider for LoRenzo the NP was actually very open to. my explanation of LoRenzo’s autism bein
caused by vaccines and agreed further vaccinations would be out of the question for both my children and she was more than happy to give me medical exemptions for them. I don’t have much, and my journey of healing KY son
My son, but I have a voice and I’ll use it til the day I die to stop this from happening to another baby!!! ♥
Diana, you are a fabulous source of inspiring stories. We were all crying when you posted about LoRenzo last time. So glad to have you with us! And my nieces who are nurses regularly “like” my posts, too. Exciting to have allies on the “other side”!
Wonderfully written!! Sharing, sharing and sharing.
Thank you, Karrie!
I am a new follower and this is the first blog I’ve been ‘notified’ about via email… And I am so glad I am a follower!
My husband and I started eating healthier and taking vitamins about 3 years ago, right around the time we decided we were ready to try for a baby. We adopted a healthier lifestyle knowing we would need to have these good habits in place before baby arrived so that we could pass those habits down. And that’s where my journey started… I dove head first in to reading about processed foods, blood type diets, etc. I visited a wellness ‘doctor’ monthly and also made regular visits to my chiropractor (which I have been doing most of my life due to a surgery at 11 months old). But, needless to say, my husband and I started feeling better, having more energy and it was great! We got pregnant soon after and I had an unbelievably healthy pregnancy. (I did have to have a C-section due to complications from that surgery I mentioned earlier but, all went very well!) we had a healthy baby girl. And although we had been living healthier, the one gray area for me was vaccinations. I read a little online about the pros and cons but I hadn’t really made up my mind about what I wanted for my baby. So, she received the Hep B in the hospital (I shiver now when I say that!) and she also received her first round at 2 months. And that’s when I had a paradigm shift! My little girl slept for over 4 hours (after she had just taken a long nap) right after we left the peds office. It just wasn’t ‘right’. It was earthshaking to have to watch her be poked with several needles and then to take her home and feel as though she wasn’t acting like she normally did. Thank God (no, really, thank you Jesus!) she never had any other complications but I made up my mind that day… I was determined to figure this whole vaccine thing out! Again, I dove head first in to books, online articles, etc and I haven’t stopped since. Our little girl hasn’t had any more vaccinations and she is doing GREAT! She’s NEVER been sick… NEVER! She’s had a 101 fever once… And she cut her first tooth a few hours after. Although she’s not in daycare, she has lots and lots of cousins that she plays with. She eats organic and has been taking probiotics, vit D, multi vit and fish oil (I’m looking in to cod liver oil to replace…). She LOVES healthy smoothies that we make at home… Full of veggies and fruit!
I wanted to share to encourage your team and all of your efforts!!! My little girl is now 17 months old and she speaks in full sentences, she is never sick, she is happy happy happy! and she has been vaccine free for 15 months! And if it weren’t for a team of people, like you, who take the time to make this information available online, I may not have had enough confidence to ale a stand with the pediatrician, and life could possibly be a lot different…
I empathize with you when you explain how it feels for others, whom you care about and love, not realize how damaging these vaccines can be until it is too late. I am very much the minority, within my extended family, concerning health/vaccines. I just know beyond the shadow of a doubt that natural is the way to go (not that there aren’t exceptions! Duh!) but, I know that you can live a healthy life, be able to fight off infections/viruses without vaccinations and with proper nutrition!
So a BIG thank you again!!! I am looking forward to reading more from you soon!!
WOW, thank you, Danielle, for telling your story! We are always here for those that are already on our path, but LOVE it when Thinkers avoid all of this by reading our cautionary tales! Welcome!
Blaze is right, Danielle! We get very excited when we hear about kids who have managed to avoid getting sick. I’m SO glad for your daughter’s sake that you listened to your gut.
Great article! Been at this for over a decade with my child.The one good thing that this journey has shown me and intoduced me to is AMAZING parents. Nothing compares to their love for their children. I feel like we have been CHOSEN to open peoples’ eyes up as to what is happening in this world before its to late. We must continue to fight but must remember to take care of ourselves and each other while doing so.GOD BLESS all of you! nikki~ Jake’s proud mom : )
I agree, Nikki. I’ve met some really amazing people on this path. My kids don’t have autism, so I don’t have to do this. Of course, one of the reasons my kids don’t have autism is because I encountered some Thinking Moms at crucial times in my life, so maybe I do have to do this. 🙂 But I have to say that I LOVE hanging out with these people, because they just happen to be really great people.
Rememberance Day is soon….Might we also honour the Veterans of Autism?
In homes near you, children and parents, they strive
Between the hours of battle days
To keep their choices and lives free
That some may now choose their way
Still, the injured do keep the struggle. Amile Togo
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields. John McCrae (1872 – 1918)
Veterans of very different, yet in many ways similar, wars.
Indeed, Lynn. Indeed.
Make if I am lucky I will be there this year before autismone ! 🙂 That my dad and Caremen and me and maybe her kids are going too ! 🙂