It’s 4:00 AM two days before Christmas. I have spent the entire night wrapping gifts for my now-recovered son and his almost two-year-old baby brother. My house is quiet — but my mind and heart are not.Any mother who has had to recover, or is in the process of recovering, her child, especially when it was a regression after vaccines, is a changed person. Normal is no longer a part of our vocabulary. Last week my husband and I took our two boys to see Santa. In front of us was a young mom and dad with their new baby. You could just sense the tension. This sweet little baby was inconsolable. Nothing mom or dad did was calming him. Some would say this is “norma” to a Thinking Mom — not so much. So mom props baby on her shoulder, he’s facing me – and that’s when my hyper awareness kicked in. This sweet babe had a red angry rash on both cheeks.
My husband gave me “the look” as in “We are here just to see Santa, what we worked so hard for.” He knew, I knew, something was off. I reached in to hug him, and he says soft in my ear ” Do you see the rash? Don’t say anything unless the opportunity presents itself.” Well of course it did! Santa is a hot ticket; the lines are long!
Mom and I start chatting. She tells me my boys are so well behaved, so cute. She proceeds to tell me she works with children on the spectrum. That’s when my hub gave me the other look, the “tell her look.” So I gave a brief synopsis about my journey with Connor, The Team TMR book I wrote a chapter for. We have pleasantries, and she turns to see the status of Santa. Then she turns back with the craziest statement. “Your boys look so healthy!” I tell her how I feed them all organic, etc., and then she says “Do you give them probiotics?” Then the floodgates opened. She tells me about the high-dose antibiotics she was on when she was delivering, then how he was on IV antibiotics at least a week once he was born due to a MRSA infection after circumcision. Then she said it: “He really started having bad stomach issues after his two-month vaccines. He is inconsolable, has had a bad case of thrush, doesn’t want to nurse.” To which her husband states, “Yeah, she’s been obsessing for weeks. Our Pediatrician says it’s normal.” After that I validated all her concerns, her eyes a bit teary. It was now time for her baby to get his picture. I gave her a hug and my phone number and told her to text me with anything I can do to help, and we parted.
Over the last week, I have gotten her into my pediatrician, gotten gas relief (homeopathic) to ease the pain the baby is experiencing, and gotten a good probiotic suggestion. I just want to give you a few snippets of our texts. She wants me to share this because, as she has told me, “I never would have known any of this if you hadn’t spoken to me. Mothers [Editor’s note: And fathers!] NEED to know.”
Her first sentiments:
“I am SO glad you said something. Isn’t it crazy how just a suspicion from his rash on face turned into this? Little did you know the craziness that’s been going on! I couldn’t stop talking about you when we left, because I kept saying how happy I was to finally feel like everything I’ve been worrying about was validated.”
“It’s so interesting how my baby’s face was super clear the past couple days and even today. Then I just looked at him, and it’s super inflamed with those red dots. His pediatrician told me that it was a virus! It’s on his chin and cheeks when it does show.”
It gets better (enter sarcasam):
“Thank you so much for your help! I can’t wait for my appointment on Tuesday to see Dr. Sears. Yesterday I called my baby’s doctor and left a message saying I wanted to get a test done for my son, a stool test you suggested (this was before I spoke to you about waiting to do the test from Dr. Sears), and she called me back and left a voicemail saying she thinks I should go to a “mommy and me” group to talk to other first-time moms. That’s her response when I request a test. So ridiculous!”
I was fuming. Then I went into “Spartan Mode.”
Not only is this new mother being treated like she’s crazy and overreacting, her husband was also expressing his doubts about what I suggested to her, going so far as calling a doctor friend of his to validate what I was telling her was wrong. The friend, a physician, stated, “Yeah, the antibiotics can cause some upset, but that’s “normal.” And vaccines do no harm. They don’t cause autism.”
I asked her to please stand her ground, and that’s when she said, “Please Maria, write something. Get the word out. Moms don’t know.”
So that’s what I am doing here today — getting the word out.
STOP letting your pediatricians belittle your mother’s intuition when it comes to your child’s health.
STOP accepting the “New Normal” of sick children.
Research. Reach out to us mothers that know. Pass this story on to the next mother you meet in the same position, so she too can feel validated.
I was texting this mom to give empowerment for her appointment tomorrow. I told her she will be in the best hands with Dr. Sears. Connor, my recovered son, was reading over my shoulder when he said, “Mom, are you going to make that baby better like you did me?” I replied ” I am trying, hon.” He then said “Let’s say a prayer for them.”
He knows. I know. With the autism rates currently at 1 in 68, the WORLD knows. It’s time for us to reclaim our kids’ health and not let anything stand in the way.
I just wanted to take my recovered son to see Santa. My life will never be the same, but if I can stop ONE child from regressing into illness or autism, my son’s prior suffering was not in vain.
Only Forward From Here,