Way back in September an icon’s birthday was celebrated—Johnny Appleseed. He’s well known for several reasons: his generosity, his leadership and his calling as a missionary. Most notably, Johnny Appleseed is known for an abundance of apple orchards on the east coast. Bountiful harvests of apples produced by these orchards are as legendary as Mr. Appleseed himself.
Legends are stories shared and passed down from one group to another. Here at TMR, we thrive on what others have shared with us. From poop stories to viable treatment options for our children, we absorb anything that can help our children, ourselves and our community.
Not only do we appreciate those things that help us, we love to pass along useful information to others. Since our kids are affected so differently, it’s helpful to read about other perspectives. What works for you and your child could benefit one of our own children. What is experimental for you might be old hat for us. It isn’t just helpful tidbits of what works and what doesn’t work that we’ve tried to share on our blog. Real life and real emotions are part of this parenting journey. We’ve shared times of sadness, times of great joy and a range of emotions in between.
The best part of this blog and our mission is that we get to share what others have helped us to realize. We get to open up and be 100% brutally honest. We get to finally say what we should have said in the doctor’s office, at an IEP meeting or to a disrespectful neighbor, in-law and stranger who never should have said what they did.
We’re here because of what happened to our children. We’re here because someone told us something that rattled us to the core. We’re here because we saw what we did but were told it was nothing, or “that’s normal” or “just wait it out.” Thankfully, someone else planted a seed in our thoughts that said, “Yes, you did see what you saw and that is far from normal and you cannot wait a moment longer. Do something about it now before it’s too late.”
Someone else planted a seed that got us thinking. Someone else’s voice grew louder as we were just beginning to find our own. Someone else opened our eyes to a sign that was flashing right in front of us. Someone else made our progress possible. Someone else made today bearable, doable and promising.
This is why we exist—because we want you too to go forward, to find your voice, to know that you can do everything you can to help your child. Help them today, right now and with every bit of potential you have. Then, go out and plant the seed in someone else’s mind. Our children’s lives depend on it.
For more blogs from Mamacita, please click here.
Pingback: A Christmas Miracle | Jake's Journey to be a Little Man
You’re impact with TMR is powerful, wide reaching and monumental…we are watching history unfold, thank you for planting seeds as we go out and continue the movement!!
My post is long, so do not feel obligated to read it.
It was very therapeutic for me to write and I am grateful to have had the opportunity to do so.
Beats talking to myself.THX! TMR!!!
I have initiated and forced major change throughout our entire community that has helped so many families but the change did not come in time to really help my own family, the way that we really needed it to.
I have kicked up so much dust in our town–been a force to reckon with and thus despised by many, that we have decided that we must move within a couple years and start fresh where nobody knows us and try one last time to realize some level of happiness before our kids are full grown adults which is almost here.
* A decision made easier as we fight a truly fraudulent foreclosure in which we have little chance in receiving a fair and just judgement.Just another sucky pos to contend with.
* Also had our savings cleared out illegally by a big bank saying it was not FDIC when it was supposed to be, that was created by our refinanced mortgage a few years back–I tried my best to get it back and it is gone for good, all of it.
There are a lot of people who didn’t vaccinate their children and had the least invasive pregnancies and births because of the countless hours I spent explaining EVERYTHING to them I wish I had known–time that now feels stolen from my own family at a crucial time when they needed me most.
*Often when having such discussions, I would get no empathy or any sense of being lifted up somehow–often people would suggest how stupid or dumb I was and that they would never have done such things and I would ask–where did you hear of all this, and most said-Uh, I haven’t heard about all this before.
Of course, I never hear from any of them –they are too busy being healthy, happy, prosperous, and having so much fun, and do not want to be around “us” total downers.
I had come close to saying no more shots when my oldest was 1 year old, but the amount of information and support than was no where what it is today.
I didn’t know how to fight for them the way they needed me to: when I carried and birthed them and cared for them as babies and as they grew older— the way I would have if it were today.
My husband is supportive: he earns a paycheck that we need , loves his children, does all the things I as a stay at home mom is supposed to do but am too exhausted to or just stopped caring about a long time ago–he is a good person.
He will back me up, sometimes, maybe,–but only if it makes sense to him which usually “it” doesn’t because he is not fully involved with what I have been, he just cant handle it and I try to understand for it has nearly killed me:
–all the crappiest of the crappiest stuff to just keep us afloat and going into battle over and over for every little thing:
–the full metal jacket kind of combat with the whole world pushing back and despising you for making them have to think about unpleasant things, for being held accountable to do the right thing, on some level.
It has taken a huge toll on my entire family.
Some extended family and “old” friends who are so grateful that they followed some or all of my advice, because if they had not they would be dealing with more than just food allergies etc:
–don’t help us out or even talk to us anymore because they do not want to feel a connection to our lives:
–, just too busy with other more important & fun people and things to do and places to go:
— and they have the money to enjoy life in ways our family can only dream of because it was not doled out in the quest for recovery from preventable injuries, disease and disabilities .
They were just ‘lucky” and we were not is how many have decided to view it all meh
And they do not carry on the very hard work of being the messengers of the knowledge I gifted them and their children with, or advocating for any kind of real change that benefits others:
BECAUSE they do not NEED to for their family is doing great:
–besides, that’s why people like me exist, to serve others and make their lives better, regardless if it is at the sacrificing of myself and my own family.
BUT it should all have benefited my family too, somehow, some way–right?
Well, too bad for you, good luck with that, see ya, have a nice day.
F you enters my thoughts all the time these days
I am not so heroic as to say that I am ok with all this sacrifice if it has helped others.–I’m not. I don’t know if I can do “this” anymore.
What has it gotten for my family? Notta.
I can’t even begin to imagine how those who have come before me/us, many with much worse scenarios, and nobody and nothing to support what they knew in their hearts was true–that something happened that could have been prevented, that disabilities and disease was the curse of evil men doing whatever it is evil men do.
* Many went to their graves without any vindication.
How incredibly painful and unacceptably tragic for them and their families!!!
I was at the very first Autism One–than I thought I could rescue my family, I could do anything and I hung on every word of every person there.
Unfortunately, those were the days when any trendy guru, new age quack, Frankenstein doc could say whatever they wanted and we did what they told us to do whatever it cost–on all levels including money, and no matter how strange and hard it was to implement, or where we had to travel to etc because we had nothing and nobody else to turn to for help, for real HOPE.
We were in a race against time like deer in headlights terrified that because we were clueless:
–How could such lowly worms like us actually really make everything good and right for our families, kiss the boo-boos and make it all better?
The ability to get up and fight another round spirit is fading fast.
I am older and beat up pretty bad,–the ref is trying to call the fight as over because I am down for the count and can’t get back up.I look a mess!
I keep saying–I will never give up seeking recovery and a better life for my family:
But as time passes they seem like empty words I say out of desperation.
Our family is so broken.
No whoops for success that made it oh so worth it all-nope.just more heartache .
Now I am the pathetic older mom who just doesn’t get the newfangled ways of recovering injured and sick kids.
I just felt a gasp of: HOPE.
Now, what can I do to hang onto it long enough to really and truly help my own family? Dunno.
BB, please hang in there. i can totally relate to being the whole tired older warrior mom . …..those who didnt appreciate the gift you gave them…it counts a lot what you did…if only to God. it counts and it does not go unnoticed..God is good, he wont leave you with hopeless.your day will come when it is you who feels the peace and happiness you so deserve…one day God will wipe every tear from your eye…until then…you have all my love and admiration my dear warrior sister…
Love this post! I’ve just recently found you guys and can’t wait to get your book in the spring. My son has a speech disorder called apraxia, but a large majority of things that help kids with autism also help him. I started biomedical intervention with him in September even though my SLP said she had never heard of an apraxic child going that route. So true though … it all starts with one seed, one thought that is planted and it grows from there. Thank God for all the moms sharing their voice. I’d still be at a stand still with this disorder if I would have listened to the first few speech therapists, pediatricians, dermatologists and allergists that I ran across. I blog at jakes-journey-apraxia.com to document our experience with apraxia, food allergies, & eczema.
I found my “voice” when I started my blog.. http://www.babyfoodsteps.com by writing about what I was researching and discovering initially with food and our family, slowly moms began contacting me saying they were noticing similar things….
after a handful contacted me… I realized that this was no longer a coincidence and realized that me and my family were no longer on the island that we had felt we were on for so long with the medical community telling us a)nothing is wrong or b)something so rare and mysterious is going on that we don’t know what to do.
Findings others in the same situation gave me the support and confidence I needed to “shine my light” and speak up for the others who cannot speak for themselves.
Thank you TMR for giving all moms in this situation a voice.
Last night, at my friend’s husband’s birthday party, a conversation was started about the flu vaccine. I introduced these moms to LoRenzo who of course was in Maxine’s room with playing with the DS instead of everybody’s kids. Over a glass of wine, or three, I explained to them how my son was vaccine injured (called Autism) starting with my flu shot during pregnancy. I told them about TMR and the many Facebook friends I made because of TMR. I informed them about the hearings and the links that we all post pertaining to how to get exemptions, diet, environmental changes. Needless to say we will all be getting a couple more requests. One of the moms actually told me she always suspected her daughter of being on the spectrum but was having a hard time getting a diagnosis, sound familiar? Yes, TMR you were very instrumental in recognizing my seed, making me believe it was worthy of nurturing. Now I’m bearing fruit! Sharing with one mama at a time (sometimes two) and you were key in getting me to research ways to help my son and save my nieces infant from any vaccine! THANK YOU!!!! ♥
I’m a puddle, crying as I read your comment. Thank you so much for taking that moment to share your story to these people you met and instantly offering support. I have no doubt your willingness to be open and honest with them will guide them positively.
Chris’ TEDx talk on autism posted today. http://www.christophergauthier.com/?page_id=352 Whatever the metaphor, apples seeds or “tiny ripples of hope”, each of us, working in scattered locations and from sometimes diverse perspectives are making a difference interpersonally and in the national conversation. Change is good. BTW, in the video, Chris honors warrior moms for their hard work and passion — me & all of you. <3
I have felt like Johnny Appleseed for over ten years. I have told our story Good, Bad, Ugly and Crapisode for years on twitter. This month I will reach the milestone of 100,000 tweets for Autism Action. I realized even though I call my quest to One Hundred thousand #100000Screams that this will pass with less than a blip. We need to pull together and have a much much stronger voice to overcome Establishment stone wall and black out TannersDad Tim Welsh
Well said Tim, keep up the fight. You are being heard. I’m cheering for Tanner.