Sleeping with the Enemy

October 18, 2017

This blog is very fresh and personal for me, and I felt inspired to shine a light on a very important subject that is affecting us all:  how your position on vaccination impacts romantic relationships. I also selfishly hope that writing about it will be a little cathartic for me.

For those who don’t know me or my background, I’m a divorced mom of two boys, 19 and 16, one with autism. I’ve divorced their dad twice actually, the last time was two and a half years ago. For the past year, I have been dating a mainstream medical doctor (mostly Sports Medicine and Urgent Care). We met on a dating app that my friend convinced me to sign up for, and he was my first match and the only guy I dated. On our first date sparks flew, and at the end of the night we discovered through our conversation that we had already met. He was the intake doctor for my son with autism at HBOT (hyperbaric oxygen therapy) years ago (while I was married). Our serendipitous reconnection seemed like fate.

I jokingly called my ex Dr. Feelgood, not because he was a drug dealer per the
Mötley Crüe song lyrics
, but for the more obvious reason. We had mad chemistry and became lovers with guarded hearts. We lived an hour apart and were both very busy with work and family obligations, but exclusively dated and saw each other once or twice a week. He worked closer to me a few days a week and would get a room in town for the night. It was a nice escape from my busy life as a single autism mom who teaches Pilates all day, six days a week, to take care of my family. Though we both started to have feelings for each other, there were some issues. I soon discovered that there were two subjects that we had very different opinions about, vaccines and food.

Normally, I would be scared to date a mainstream doctor, because of what happened to my son. I am now an ex-vaxxer and into alternative medicine and non-GMO food. However, I figured that Dr. Feelgood had to be somewhat open-minded if he did HBOT. We all have the ability to learn new things and change our beliefs. I used to be just like him. Into mainstream medicine, I vaccinated as I was told I needed to, and ate and fed my kids anything. I was blind, and my son’s regression into autism opened my eyes on both issues. My son with autism is 19; I figured out the vaccine connection to autism when he was four and stopped vaccinating his brother at 18 months, and I figured out the diet piece when he was five. We are all gluten-free, organic, and non-GMO in my house, and my son with autism is currently a vegan, which helped treat the seizures he began having at 15. I’ve read the science. (Here are some of the studies linking vaccines to poor health outcomes, including autism. There are many more, believe me.) I’ve read the vaccine inserts and the horrific toxic ingredients in them.


I know that there have been no long-term safety studies or studies on the vaccine combinations children are given on the current schedule, and I know that many of the ones they are saying prove no link to autism are fraudulent. I’ve been to AutismOne numerous times to listen to the top doctors and experts in the field, and have dedicated my life to healing my son. I’ve co-written a channeled book about autism that implicated vaccines and GMOs in autism as well as a chapter in the book TEAM TMR: Autism and the Path from Hope to Healing and another in the upcoming TMR book on autism and puberty. So, yeah, I have spent way more time studying these subjects than my ex ever did in med school 30 years ago. Maybe I was brought back into his life to plant some seeds.

When we first started dating, the documentary Vaxxed: From Cover-up to Catastrophe was shown in my town. I even introduced it at two showings and told my son’s vaccine injury story. I asked him to attend and both times he said he had his son those days. Excuse? I don’t know. I told him that it was about the fraud at the CDC, that the lead researcher was now a whistleblower who admitted that he and his colleagues manipulated and omitted data indicating a connection between the MMR and autism. Crickets. We talked about Andrew Wakefield, the film’s director. I showed him pictures of me with Andy and told him how much I admired and respected him and what a champion he was for our kids.

My ex just parroted the mainstream rhetoric about him, and admitted that he never read the Lancet paper that the mainstream media have blatantly lied about for years. Awkward. Later in the year, the Vaxxed bus came to my town, and I did an interview with Polly Tommey. My son’s name is on the bus, #957 among the over 6,000 other names of vaccine-injured people. I didn’t even mention it to him at that point.

Another time I asked him if his job required him to get the flu vaccine each year. He said yes. I asked if he knew what was in them (25 mcg of mercury), and that they were ineffective. He spouted off some influenza propaganda, and I knew things would get ugly if I carried on the conversation. He knew that I believed my son was vaccine injured, and he believed autism is genetic. I know that couples don’t agree on everything, but could I agree to disagree on this?

When we went out to eat, he respected that I was gluten-free, and always chose restaurants where I could find food to eat. However, he didn’t want to hear that wheat is sprayed with glyphosate, a known carcinogen, or that I was in the documentary Genetic Roulette: The Gamble of our Lives about the dangers of GMO foods and regulatory corruption. It became the other elephant in the room. Same shit, different diaper as the vaccine issue. I knew what it was like living with someone who wasn’t on board with the food issue because of my ex-husband and his family — having to make different meals, having different shelves in the kitchen for certain people’s food, holiday dinners from hell. Ironically, after my ex-brother-in-law figured it out and talked to the ex-in-laws about it, the three of them changed their eating habits to some extent. My ex-husband still eats whatever he wants and tries to feed my younger son garbage when he sees him, which infuriates me. Would I be able to combine CDs with another man who didn’t see eye-to-eye on a subject that we deal with every day, feeding ourselves and our kids?

The other issue in the relationship was his emotional unavailability. After many months of dating, he hadn’t told his family about me or changed his relationship status on Facebook. We never met each other’s friends, and I started taking it personally. We actually split up for two months over this issue because he wasn’t ready for me to meet his family. I didn’t get it. Were they that dysfunctional, or was something wrong with me? We remained friends, and one day he asked me if I would pick him up after a colonoscopy. I did because I’m a nice person. We continued to text and talk and decided to hit the reset button. I joked that they must have pulled his head out of his ass during the colonoscopy. He promised to step up and be a better boyfriend, communicate every day, and meet each other’s families at some point. However, after two more months I wasn’t seeing much change. We went for a bike ride one day, and he mentioned that his parents were in town unexpectedly. I asked if he’d told them he was meeting me. He hadn’t; he told them he was going alone. I almost rode off and left. I was still a “secret” girlfriend. He claimed that he doesn’t talk about relationships with them because they always make a big deal out of it, but I wasn’t buying it. I know what you’re thinking, and no, he wasn’t married. I’ve been to his house numerous times.

Shortly after that we  were lying in bed talking, and he mentioned that his son’s school was in California. It hadn’t really dawned on me before that his nine-year-old son was subject to SB277, which had removed personal belief vaccine exemptions for school attendance in California. I asked, “So, he’s fully vaccinated?”


I couldn’t keep quiet and went off. I talked about the Gardasil vaccine they’re now pushing on boys, which is killing and paralyzing girls, and about vaccine ingredients (he admitted to never reading a vaccine insert). Things got heated, and he shouted “I’m the one with the medical degree, not you!” I wouldn’t back down. I told him I knew more about the subject than he did because of my son. He told me I was a conspiracy theorist, and he even bagged on Andrew Wakefield again. Ugly. I suppose all the families who have been compensated in court for vaccine injury and death to the tune of over $4 billion are conspiracy theorists too. And those are only the few that managed to file within the three-year statute of limitations and spent up to ten years of their lives proving that the vaccines caused injury; most do not.

Things were a little distant for the next week. When we talked on the phone, he mentioned the reason for the distance was that he didn’t like our conversation about vaccines. I agreed that I hadn’t liked it either, but then we got into it again. I told him that if he didn’t even look into it he was being ignorant and arrogant (as Albert Einstein so wisely said, “Condemnation without investigation is the height of ignorance,” and dismissing someone with “I’m the doctor, so I’m right” is arrogant). He said he couldn’t talk to me about this and hung up on me.

The next day he texted me to say he thought we should split up because it wasn’t working and he’d like to remain friends. He said he couldn’t agree with my beliefs or support me in them, but wished that he could. I told him that until he used the critical thinking skills that scientists are supposed to use by examining both sides before making an educated decision, he was part of the problem. We agreed that we had lots of good times and loved each other, but that wasn’t enough.

One day, while texting about football, I asked him if my position on vaccines was the real reason he’d kept me a secret: He was sleeping with the enemy. He said it might have been part of it, but that he liked sleeping with the enemy. He said he just couldn’t go all in because he couldn’t figure out how to combine our worlds. I didn’t realize until then how much my position on vaccines affected our relationship. He admitted that he held back emotionally because of it. He couldn’t get too close to “one of them,” much less publicly claim me as his girlfriend on social media, only to have his medically indoctrinated friends and family look up my page and wonder why he was with me. His dad is a doctor too. Would mommy and daddy approve of this conspiracy theorist? I said that it was sad that he cared more about what other people might think than about understanding what had happened to my child and so many others. This issue is not going away. It affects us all, and one day, I told him, he will realize that I’m right and it will be too late.

I begged him to watch Vaxxed and Genetic Roulette for his son’s sake. He said he’d do more research, so I sent him the 30-minute video interview of pediatrician Dr. Paul Thomas, who went to the same Ivy League medical school he did and asked him to watch it. Dr. Thomas changed his position on vaccines and wrote a book about how he woke up and changed how he practiced. Perhaps my ex could relate. He hadn’t watched it when I asked the next day, and I highly doubt that he ever will. I’m sure he will never read this either.

A blessing in disguise, or the one that got away? That’s my story, and we all have one, don’t we? I have a few.

My ex-husband’s parents are Christian Scientists, and they did not vaccinate their three boys, all currently in their 30s and 40s. I was the vaccinator in my family when we had children. I changed my position, not because of religion, but because they are causing massive health problems and death. When we divorced, I didn’t have to worry about him trying to vaccinate our kids. We use a religious exemption for school. Other families are not so fortunate, and couples are even going to court to have a judge decide. I actually talked to a local mom who went to court and a judge was trying to force her to vaccinate their son because the dad wanted to. Religious exemption saved her. Another friend told me that she accepted less money from her ex in their divorce agreement in exchange for the right to make vaccination decisions for their children.

There is a recent court case in Michigan, where the mom actually went to jail because a judge ordered her to vaccinate her son and she refused. Dad wanted to, mom didn’t, and the judge sided with the dad, temporarily removing physical custody from her and a gave a court order to vaccinate the child as medically necessary. My friend and independent journalist Jefferey Jaxen wrote about the case here. Many are now rallying in support of her as they are seeing the reality of courts becoming involved in these family disputes. Any one of us could be next, and it’s frightening.

Is this what our country is coming to? Courts deciding between couples who don’t agree on vaccination, violating informed consent principles, and sending parents to jail for making medical decisions for their children? Is that going to be part of a prenup now? And who will care for our future children if they are injured by vaccines? Do we have to ask people we are dating their views on vaccines before becoming intimate with them for fear of an unplanned pregnancy? I’d be calling my friends for bail money if that happened to me with my ex, because I’m sure a judge would take the position of a dad who is also a doctor over a “conspiracy theorist” mom’s any day.

Many of my autism mom friends have gotten divorced over the vaccine issue or are still fighting with their exes over it. It has alienated extended family members because one person learned the truth the hard way and other people in the family don’t agree. It is destroying loving relationships and keeping otherwise compatible couples from making it. What loving couple deciding to start a family ever thinks they will be dealing with this? It is such a polarizing subject, and the line in the sand is very clear. Pharma trains doctors, owns the media and the government, and most people will never listen to any other viewpoint on vaccines. They think that vaccines saved the world, and no one will change their mind even though the information is all readily available and hidden in plain sight.

It truly is a life-changing realization to learn that we are being lied to for profit and changing your position truly makes you a modern-day pariah. The dating pool is drying up for those of us who are awake.

~ Oracle

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27 Responses to Sleeping with the Enemy

  1. John M says:

    As a child I had severe asthma and allergies. When I was about 9 I received a vaccination like all the other children at the town hall. I had a serious reaction to the vaccine and was found on the floor unconscious. After awaking the doctor said I was OK to go home. The following days left me unable to function. I felt like I had to relearn everything and could not recognize my own street. My brain felt like it was on fire processing all information at once and not being able to filter the irrelevant information out. I am 55 now and still suffer greatly. Most people would not notice I have any difficulties. My memory has also suffered. I spent my life trying to explain this event to doctors and usually ignored. I know the truck that hit me and the license plate. These reactions were never reported and doctors will ignore them. Who knows how many people were affected on different or lesser levels that would never associate this to a vaccine. The evidence that they really work is kind of flimsy and their safety is highly questionable. Doctors in general will adhere to the standards without question claiming it is proven science but will never question the science. At one point we were told to avoid saturated fats and use substitutes such as margarine. Of course this was science based. Maybe they are wrong on other issues as well. The science is generated by the pharma companies. Who is the enemy here?

    • ProfessorTMR says:

      “Who knows how many people were affected on different or lesser levels that would never associate this to a vaccine.”

      Nailed it.

  2. Sheryl says:

    He probably could not listen to your arguments, read the articles, or watch the video, because he was afraid you might be right. If he believed you, he could lose his job and his respect in the medical community.

  3. Joanna says:

    His loss for sure L. BTW, if he’s refusing to view research you provide, he must know there’s something to it. If he really thought there was nothing substantial he’d dive right it. He doesn’t want his mind changed and prefers to live in ignorance. That is far more dangerous than just not knowing better. You are better off in the long run – with someone who truly appreciates your brilliant mind and badass bravery.

  4. Kate says:

    Great article! My husband thinks I’m nuts but has let me have my way in not vaccinating, not using antibiotics, not bringing fevers down, being gluten and sugar free…but now my oldest is at college and is taking her first antibiotics and wants to get a flu vac. She’s close to her Dad and it feels like way she can be close to him by taking his side and I think she just feels “normal” to do what the other kids are doing.

    • Anon says:

      gosh….re your oldest….I hope she thinks about what you have learned….

      if she goes ahead (and I suppose there is not much you can do about that), I hope she does not get sick, or get talked into a TON of further vaccines. (That is something I have heard…folks go for ONE vaccine and end up with many, within short time). I have heard of quite a lot of folks who had the flu vaccine, and gone on to develop shingles. As well, I have heard quite a lot of folks say, that once in there they found out there were many strains of the flue vaccine all mixed in, and some even said there were other vaccines in it too(cant recall what)…Maybe she would at lease enquire in to all that, before she rolls up here sleeve?

      I cut myself pretty badly on dirty metal, and it has been yrs and yrs since I had a tetnus. Thought I would go and get a tetnus shot, and when I was cornered in a room with a nurse who was to give it, I asked her what else was in this vaccine (Duh..silly me, I thought just tetnus), she informed me diphtheria as well. I thanked her and said I would pass then, and am lucky she was not between me and the door, as she got quite determined..sigh. I had to get up and walk out. (of course I thanked her for her time….)

    • Oracle says:

      Thank you Kate! I hear you, as they get older, being odd is hard. My younger son doesn’t like not being able to eat the same things his friends do, but has had reactions to food enough times to know he shouldn’t.

  5. Tracy says:

    Hang in there, O! I dated A LOT before I met my kids’ father. Imagine finding someone with all the chemistry of Dr. Feelgood, but who also shares your beliefs. How amazing would that be?! With nearly 7.5 billion people on this planet, he (or she?) is definitely out there – just keep your heart open.

    Here’s hoping the Universe sends you your Someone soon…

  6. Julie says:

    My husband and I often have the conversation regarding my strong stance….we both know what happened to our children and he was thankfully totally on board to treat and recover and not re-injure. It took a decade from my oldest and I am so grateful it did not take his whole life. Thank God, because I would need bail money too. He asks me “Would it be better for you and the children if you were more quiet about it, would you and they have more friends?” For a long time, I thought I should be quiet, but found myself unable to do that. Now, I have decided that if being educated and honest is going to cost me “friends”, well, there it is. I have wonderful friends who are brave, educated, and leading real lives, do I need the ones that live in ignorance (either from fear or arrogance)? I wish that we could debate the points, save the lives, and live peacefully, but the evil in this and situation is too much to sit by quietly and save just our own. My willingness to not be quiet altered the lives of all my nieces and nephews. That is good enough for me. Maybe I have gotten through elsewhere, no one tells me. But we are voice in the dark, it has to be spoken. Thank you for all you do to speak in the dark. We are lighting the room. It will take time because the force of funded corruption is so big. What is that saying about “a few dedicated are better than an army”. We are the few, the dedicated, and the validated. We are saving our own and giving others what they need even if they don’t use it. That part of the outcome we cannot own.

  7. cara says:

    I am proud of you for standing up for the truth about vaccines and the poisons that are being put on our food. I know you were not married to this doctor/ boyfriend but if you continued the relationship and ended up married to this close minded man that will not even educate himself on what is really going on with vaccines and food, I am positive you would not want him to be making medical decisions for you as your husband, if God for-bid anything ever happened to you. Stay strong, I have been fighting the good fight for a long time now about vaccines, gmos, pesticides on food and education, and I am still standing with you here in California. The fight is difficult so it is important to stay physically and mentally strong. Only keep people who add positivity to your life, in your life. I want to send strength to all the souls who continue to fight everyday the insanity that we are all faced with, it can age you rapidly, take care of yourselves.

  8. JPS says:

    Truly, a mom who has gone to such lengths to investigate and understand what happened to her child, and to protect and provide for her children, is a serious force and a treasure. To me, this person treats you like you were a lightweight, an intriguing distraction. Romantic “love” is a poor substitute for a soulmate or at least someone who is truly on your side of the court, backing you up and supporting you, and caring about your kids, even if he doesn’t understand every detail as clearly as you do.

  9. Anon says:

    “sleeping with the enemy”…sigh….yup.
    Good post.

    some things to consider/I would wonder about
    ““I’m the one with the medical degree, not you!” ”
    —Great he has a medical degree….how much science and chemistry was he obliged (choose) to take to get this degree? In Canada (and no I do not know how it is elsewhere)…a person can/does get into medical school/graduate with none of the above. I have spoken to Medical school supplicants who have been told (told me), the main criteria is “write ups”/how well they can write a “write up”…(so it can stand up in court maybe?)
    — how much money does he make off of pharma?
    —when he does his “medical updates” what does that involve? — in my huge amount of hunting for answers, I cannot tell you how often (very often) I have seen the sidebar “this article qualifies for hours required for medical updates. Just register”…Golly gee, me myself and I should be well qualified by now…sigh

  10. Jim Collins says:

    Sorry this happened to you. Its can be hard trying to sort out people who are on the same side of this story. Stay strong, we need critical thinkers like you! Jim

  11. Jim Collins says:

    Sorry that happened to you. I have been through this with family and friends. Stay strong, we need critical thinkers like you!

  12. Jim Collins says:

    Sorry that happened to you. I’ve been through this with family and friends. If they don’t believe you,that’s their problem. I actually had someone say “if only a couple kids get hurt, it still OK” ( I don’t talk to that a**hole anymore) This “Dr” was a quack and not a real man; still hanging with you when he knew you were totally opposite of his opinions. Stay Strong! Jim

  13. Jan Frederick says:

    Great blog post. You are spot on about vaccines and food. It is sad that this doctor can’t see the truth.

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