PoppyEver have one of those days?  A day mixed with emotions and experiences that leaves you asking yourself, “Is this a dream?”

Today was one of those days.

I get up this morning, brew a cup and start making GFCF French Toast, turn on Pandora and hear this:

“I woke the same as any other day except a voice was in my head.  It said,  ‘Seize the day.  Pull the trigger, drop the blade and watch the rolling heads’. . .”

A favorite of mine.  Soundgarden.  If you know me, you know that music is my sanity.  I live and breathe it.

I think to myself, ‘I love this fucking song!’ and continue on with breakfast, making lunch, prompting guys to get ready and eat because we were running late, as usual.

Do drop off, get home, and log on to my computer to start working.   I am fortunate enough to work from home for a phenomenal company that allows me to help people every day, paying me a good wage with flex hours and great insurance that covers ABA for my Fellas. I am very lucky.

I do a quick FB check and post my daily FUA Friday on my personal page and in my feed; I see that my fellow TMR moms are talking about our book on Audible.   I’m intrigued by the idea that someone else is reading our stories, so I download to see how it is.

You see, although we have worked on this book for quite a while, and I have read almost all of the chapters,  I never sat and read it cover to cover.  No time to read, plus I know the story, right?  We WROTE it for crying out loud. 😉

Well, two minutes into the forward and I was a sobbing mess.  Like, for real.  Again, if you know me, you know I’m not really a big crier.

I was a blubbering disaster.  Then I heard Twonk’s Chapter.  Sobbed more.  Then Money’s.  Blubbering.  Then mine.

I was NOT expecting what happened next.

Hearing it.  My words and story spoken by a random woman put me on my ass.  I literally sat on my kitchen floor and cried.  Hard.  It was cathartic.

We did it.  The world will hear our stories.  Your stories.  My story.

Since April 1st, I cry at the drop of a hat.  As you may know from  April Showers I’m not a fan of this month.  In my feed, I see peeps posting pics of their books, their kids reading the book, the stellar and loving reviews.  Each time, I lose it.

Pride, sadness, anger, picking scabs all in one breath.

I’m constantly talking to parents in need of help.  A few weeks ago, I spoke with a mom that literally got the diagnosis two days prior.  She was so upset and sounded hopeless.   We talked for almost an hour.  She asked me questions, and I never swayed the conversation, but told her MY answers to her questions.  Dropped a few truth bombs, too.

Well, this morning she called me to tell me she was researching, started the GFCF diet and she is seeing a different child.  Words were coming like a tsunami.  I burst into tears again.  She is a Thinker.  Her little dude is on the path.

Then I went to get the kids and hit the market, had little son scream at Big Son to stay away from donuts because they are garbage food and not gluten free.  SCREAMED in the supermarket like he was about to touch molten lava.  I love that kid. 😉

Got into the parking lot and an older man, maybe early 60’s, working at the store packed my groceries and brought them to the car.  He noticed my groceries (GF bread, nitrate-free bacon, CF cheese) and started talking about how he healed his gout with food, how his brother is getting better using coconut oil for his Alzheimer’s, how he uses turmeric, grows his own organics, and refuses to take meds from “The Man.”

We chatted about the importance of food and pharma poisoning us as he loaded my trunk with my packages.

I got in the car, closed the door, and started sobbing again.

People are waking up.  People are questioning authority.  People are thinking for themselves.

Change is coming.  I am so grateful to be a part of it and I can only hope I see it all come to fruition in my lifetime.  For my kids.  For your kids, and grandkids, and great-grandkids.

Decided to come home and put it all on paper to be sure it isn’t really a dream.

Thank you TMR peeps, fellow thinkers, and everyone that is willing to listen and make change.

I crack my Cider and toast you all . . . to a future full of hope!


PS – I originally wrote this on April 5th.  Since then, I have cried a hundred more times.  Looking at the pictures of Thinkers with the book.   Reading status updates about how a chapter was exactly like their story.  Hitting 10,000+ likes on Facebook.  Book selling like hotcakes on Amazon.   Everyone rallying to make it all happen.  This isn’t about 24 people that met on Facebook.  It’s about thousands of us.

It’s about a shift….a movement…

A Revolution.

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17 Responses to Surreal…..

  1. Kate says:

    I just want you to know that you have made me into a Thinker. I am the Mom that you met at Autism One last May. My son is now almost three and is starting to speak, he played catch with a boy at school for the first time yesterday. He laughs and smiles all the time. I am no longer stressed to leave the house and have turned into a parent advocate at my local parent support group. It is because I approached you and asked questions that my life is better. Thank you Poppy, I will be forever be in your debt.

  2. channa says:

    TMR moms have been the voice to so women and children …You guys are amazing!!!!!!!…you all help me stand even taller …becuase I know I have warrior mommas like you fighting side by side with mommas like me…

  3. Thinkingmominthedesert says:

    Love this!! Love Soundgarten & music continues to be my therapy thru all this too!!!

    I agree that ppl really r starting to wake up. Doesnt mean they r actually doing anything abt it. But they r opening their eyes to what’s going on and many ppl r listening. Hey, it’s a positive step in the right direction!

    Today, I’m filled with an extraordinary amount of hope as my son (7) has just begun what I wld call “Recovery Journey phase II”. He has recovered over the past 5 yrs to the point where academics is his ONLY hurdle left and the last, most challenging obstacle to overcome due to learning disabilities/dyslexia/visual-motor issues. My thinkingmom research has led me to Brain Balance & I believe this is the missing piece of his puzzle. Today was his first session and he did gr8. I am filled w a renewed sense of hope similar to back whn he was 26mos old & we first began the GFCF diet. It’s, like u describe, surreal. And I have to be honest, I’m not just saying this, my son came out of his BB session abt an hr ago & he is in such a gr8 mood, extremely attentive & HAS NOT STOPPED TALKING!!! Lol And not just abt his fave topics, but commenting on everything in sight while we were in Sam’s Club & now at whole foods. I will keep u guys posted, bc I know, I know- thinking moms=inquiring minds. Haha
    I leave u w/ these lyrics from Muse- Butterflies & Hurricanes. For me, a very fitting description of what it feels like to be a part of this (amazing) thinking moms revolution!
    “Change everything you are
    And everything you were
    Your number has been called
    Fights and battles have begun
    Revenge will surely come
    Your hard times are ahead
    You’ve got to be the best
    You’ve got to change the world
    And use this chance to be heard
    Your time is now”

  4. Sunshine says:

    My girl…my musical soul sister. Love ya to pieces. Thanks for being on this ride with us all! ☼

  5. Mamacita says:

    Love you, Poppy!

  6. KFuller says:

    Now I’m crying.

  7. Mary Cavanaugh says:

    Wow! Wow! Wow! The words you wrote gave me chills! The world is waking up to what modern medicine is really about ……sickness!

  8. Sue Cranmer says:

    Goosebumps all over as I read this. It’s going to happen. People are waking up and one at a time they are realising what is happening! We just have to keep plugging away, keep putting the truth out there.

  9. Darla Beuerman says:

    I am still waiting for the day I see my efforts making a difference. So far, I think I’m still being written off as loony. In fact, despite numerous FB posts of studies, reports, etc., and my shared personal experience and views, a friend of mine emails me with news that plans for the day included a trip to the ped to update vaccines. One son has undx’d adhd the other sensory issues, eczema and may be on the spectrum. They had all been sick over the weekend with a virus to top it off but yet this was the plan for the day. What is it going to take???

  10. Crystal Palmer Bull says:

    Congratulations to all… I was so touched that you included us “thousands” … so many of us fight the fight everyday.. thank you for your inclusion… maybe my son miraculous recovery story can make the sequel… recovery is possible

  11. Erineliza says:

    I do not have a child with autism, but I am constantly moved and motivated to learn more as I read your posts, and all the posts on FB from The Thinking Moms. It is incredible to see how those who have faced such life altering circumstances have CHANGED the outcome and provided hope and knowledge to those still in the dark. I am buying the book today- and hoping to learn and implement knowledge that will help my kids grow into their full potential; because honestly, I am not convinced that even though they don’t have a diagnosis of autism- medicine, vaccines, toxins have not altered them for the worse. Thank you for sharing your story. The difference it has made is immeasurable.

  12. Erin BIEGEL says:

    Poppy, now I am crying! You are so incredible! I am proud to call you my friend!

    Congrats on this AWESOME accomplishment!


  13. Allie says:

    Poppy, I am so VERY proud of you ALL! Proud to know so many of you (even if only in facebook land), proud to be even a small part of the change you are bringing to the world. People ARE waking up, they ARE listening, they ARE beginning to question. I’ve gotta give a shout out to my girl, Blaze. In one meeting, she ripped off my blinders and forced me to question and to THINK – my life has never been the same since that day, and I’ll be forever grateful…;) Viva la Revolution!

  14. I believe people are waking up, and I believe we are making a difference. We just had our first fundraiser for the Epidemic Answers ( Canary Kids film fundraiser (we’ll be documenting the potential recovery of 7 children with autism, ADHD, allergies and asthma as they work with integrative health practitioners), and it was a smash and very well attended!

  15. ljgoes says:

    I love you Poppy. That is all. XO rev

  16. Rachel says:

    What a fucking great day, Poppy! Thank you for sharing.

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