February 18, 2016
My son Dan was officially diagnosed with autism when he was three. Before that, life was so good. My husband and I lived in Manhattan. I was an attorney, and he was a law professor. We spent our weekends strolling in Central Park and watching Dan play. Then the diagnosis came, with very little explanation on how to fix this and with very little hope that anything could truly change for the better. Like many of the readers here, I had to pave my own path to Dan’s healing. Like most of you (I’m sure!), I was determined not to leave a rock unturned.
While reading about all kinds of healing, I came across the story of Joseph, a spiritual healer who used to be severely autistic as a child and who was miraculously cured when he was eleven years old. At almost age 40, he was now helping parents of autistic children communicate with their children. I was thrilled. Dan was nonverbal at the time, and my biggest wish was to “get into his head” so I would know what he is experiencing and feeling. I called that healer and started having weekly phone conversations with him. (He lives in Israel, where I’m from.)
Joseph explained to me that autism is a language that most people do not understand. He promised to teach me how to “speak” autism with Dan so we could communicate. And he did. Each time there was another piece that he explained. We would analyze different events that occurred with Dan and he would “interpret” to me how Dan must have been experiencing it.
The biggest realization for me was learning that Dan is open to many forms of energy and information that most humans are not aware of. At first the idea terrified me. I was afraid of the unknown. But one day, I got an opportunity to see what Joseph had meant, and I began to believe that if I followed the path that Dan has chosen, it could lead to great things.
It happened on a Sunday morning. My husband and I took Dan and his baby sister to the beach. Dan and I stayed on the sand because Dan was scared of water. Dan was drawn to a group of women. He stepped on their towels to get some attention, and I had to remove him. Then they went to sit by the edge of the water, and Dan followed them there and started playing very close to them. Attempting to create a buffer, I found myself sitting right next to them. They looked at me, and I said, “I’m sorry he’s playing so close to you; he is on the spectrum, so he doesn’t know the appropriate distance . . . ”
“That’s okay,” said one of them, who I soon could tell was the mother of the other two, “I have one just like him, on the spectrum,” and she pointed at one of the girls, who was looking straight into my eyes and smiling.
“No,” I said, realizing she must have misunderstood, “the autism spectrum.” And she nodded enthusiastically and said, “Yes, autism. But your son is doing really well. This one here gave me a terrible time. She would hit and bite and have terrible tantrums.” And then she told me the story of how, two years earlier, this girl who was then 14 started talking and getting better.
I looked at the three of them in amazement, and then it hit me: Dan had the intuition. Out of a beach full of people, he noticed this group of women and did everything he could to make me – his mom – go and talk to them. I understood that he was sending me a message, “Mommy, don’t worry so much. I’m going to be okay.”
After that day, I started doing everything I could to follow Dan’s path, understand his language, and be with him where he was. The more I did that, the more he learned to communicate with me in “my language.” I’m still learning, and we still have a long way to go, but I know I am equipped with the right tools and that I am following the right path. How do I know? Dan “tells” me. All the time.
~ Shirley Blaier-Stein
Shirley Blaier-Stein is an autism mom, attorney, advocate, and the author of Autism Mom: New Ways of Thinking. She tirelessly works to increase awareness of what our children with autism can do, including speaking at the United Nations on 2015 International Autism Awareness Day: www.autismmombook.com/news.
Apparently much easier and safer than the AC chelation protocol. I’m studying.
activated clinoptilolite suspension = zeolite
http://www.ncdsupport.net/research/clinical-trials/clinical-evidence-supporting-the-use-of-an-activated-clinoptilolite-suspension-as-an-agent-to-increase-urinary-excretion-of-toxic-heavy-metal/
reposting b/c I can’t tell my post went through. I would love to know if any of you have looked into zeolite? I am considering this for my nine y/o DD who has ADHD and very likely Asperger’s. I dread the idea of AC chelation because of what’s involved and I already know my child’s adrenals are stressed. Concerned about liver too. Zeolite doesn’t mess with any of that and even avoids the whole candida issue aggravated by ALA and DMSA. Please let me know what you guys think… thanks!
So, please please please…. tell me what you moms think about liquid zeolite? I’m considering it instead of the rather difficult ACC protocol, mainly due to worry about my DD adrenals and liver. Any opinions? (she is nine, ADHD and very likely Aspergers) Would love to see what other moms think.
Can you by chance reveal Joseph’s last name or website? I could really use his insight right now, thanks.
Another inspiring article from a Thinking Mom. I am so grateful for your blog, and refer my clients to it ( I am a medically licensed homeopath) all the time.
This is so important! So many times we struggle to make our kiddos fit a mold or take another vitamin or attempt another biomedical procedure but many times the key is to really watch them and listen. We have a very valuable OT in our life who taught my husband and I both how to listen to our little boy. Now we know whether or not he can be pushed and when he has had enough and we know when he is being lazy and when we can ask him for more just like with any neurotypical kid just the ques are different.
We received our diagnosis almost 3 years ago. It is still a struggle at times but once we started listening and introduced our son to PECS and graduated to an AAC device it has changed our world. We will always hope for language but if it never comes we have something that is highly adaptable and can grow with him as comprehension and receptive skills grow. Above all else the main skill for any parent is to listen to their kiddos on the spectrum.
Thanks for this! In my opinion when parents talk about “acceptance,” this is often what they mean – follow your child, understand them, go into their world and learn, instead of constantly fighting to drag them out into ours.
I think there is a very important distinction to make with “acceptance.” Acceptance of your child exactly where he or she is and meeting them there, is not the same as “acceptance” of the limitations that “experts” put on the child or condition. A lot of people confuse those two things. They think “accepting” their child means “acceptance” of the diagnosis and all its limitations as defined by “experts.” Nothing could be further from the truth.
I couldn’t have said it better. I just love your comment!
Yep, agree. The only “expert” on your child is you (and your child).
Learning that their sensory disorder, for example to fragrance and essential oil chemicals and per(fume), really reveals the neurotoxins hidden in our consumer products.