Bon Voyage

We hope that you all will join us for our upcoming eConference: GMOs, Organics and Food Allergies: How To Feed Your Family Without Losing Your Mind  on October 7th.  Click HERE to register. Those of you who have children with special diets will relate to Prima’s cruise experience!   

There used to be a time in my former life (pre-motherhood bliss)when  the anticipation of a vacation was almost as exciting as the trip  itself and preparation revolved around me, myself and I. I took time to  meticulously pack all my cute little sun dresses, with their matching  accessories and shoes, select all the books to read between naps, and  shop for the latest swimwear and a cartful of tanning products.

All I could think about was partying !!!

Fast forward to my life now and hit the stop button at January 2011,  when I agreed (against my best and selfish interest) to go on a family  vacation/reunion. Thirty-five family members on a 10 day cruise in the  Caribbean. I must have been in a state of temporary insanity because I  actually imagined this was going to be a dream vacation. My denial of  the reality was further fueled by the strong and stubborn desire to give  my son the opportunity to “socialize “, mingle with his cousins and  explore new things! Far more than sunbathing and Pina Coladas, this was  my dream and I convinced myself that nothing major could possibly go  wrong.

If the ship administration agreed to allow me to bring all his food  on board, it would be a piece of cake and I was determined to make it  work.

And as long as my son was happy, I’d be happy!

As every parent of a child on a special diet knows, if you’re going  to do the diet thing, you have to try and stick to it and be as  consistent as possible. For this to work on the cruise, I had to bring  all his meals, snacks, and what I like to call the “what ifs”.  Furthermore, I knew I would have to organize all of his daily  supplements: shots, probiotics, enzymes, epsom salts, vitamins,  antifungals, activated charcoal, and what I call the “ might as wells”.

I started to hyperventilate when the list reached two, then three,  and four single-spaced full pages but when I lost count, I knew I was  getting in over my head.

Call me anal if you want, but I was determined to pull this off in an  organized manner and not let myself be deterred by everyone’s else  opinion that I was insane.

Even the woman in charge of “special accommodations on the ship”  thought I was mad. “Oh but you don’t need to bring your own food, we  have gluten free meals, ma’am”, she offered politely.

“My son is on the specific carbohydrate diet, which means he will  only eat the foods I prepare for him ”, I insisted and left it at that. I  wasn’t in the mood to explain the limits of the diet nor give her an  Elaine Gottschall lecture on monosaccharides and disaccharides.

“I need to know if you will accommodate me with freezer space so that  I can bring all his meals for the 10 days on the ship”, I crossed my  fingers and asked.

“All his meals?” She quipped in disbelief.

“Yes, all his meals” I bravely insisted.

I could sense she was biting her tongue not to say: “What’s the  point, lady, just do yourself a favor and stay home!” I don’t blame the  poor soul for being confused because after all, one of the great perks  of vacation is the exemption of kitchen duty, right?

And so, the minute I was given the green light by the ship’s  administration, my house turned into a food factory. Pages and more  pages of special menu ideas, all scrupulously within the parameters of  the diet but also included variety, and a high level of originality. I  didn’t want my son to feel that he was different from his cousins. He  would have to be served with them, at the same lunch and dinner tables,  and while I anticipated they would be indulging in yummy desserts and  decadent snacks practically around the clock at the infinite buffets on  the ship, I didn’t want him to feel left out of anything.

I needed absolutely to make 12 breakfasts, 12 lunches, 12 dinners  (again the extra 2 for the “what ifs” and the “might as wells”), and, of  course what seemed like gazillion snacks. To my husband’s great despair  (I’m sure there were time he wanted to strangle me), I became obsessed  with ordering the latest dehydrators to make fruits roll ups and  homemade chips. I was constantly searching for the latest SCD legal  pancakes recipes. I put together a schedule for the cruise people to  follow and a calendar, (yes, a calendar) so that each day, for each and  every meal the properly labeled ( description included on the label )  menu would be defrosted, heated and served to my son.

I wrote, scribbled, erased, rearranged, washed, peeled, cooked, and  packaged for days and nights but I was pleased with my efforts. This was  going to work.

Did I mention I was exhausted?

Let’s just say that by the time I was ready to leave, I had lost 5  lbs, I looked as if a truck ran over me over and I knew (but was too  wiped to care) that I had forgotten half of my personal things.

Who has time to think about shoes and little sun dresses when you’ve  got a cooler, a travel pharmacy to prepare and 2 kids to tend to?  Besides, my priority was my son’s enjoyment and that trumped my own. Now  that I had organized everything, I felt good and confident and the  feeling was amazing.

But that changed the moment we boarded, because as luck would have it, anything that could possibly go wrong, did!

As soon as we arrived on board, everyone else ran to fun activities  and I bee-lined to the kitchen. There, I was politely informed that the  ship was not allowed to keep my “special” food in their freezers but  they would be happy to accommodate me by supplying ice throughout the  day to refill the cooler.

I was happy they were happy to do that, but I was not happy at all.

I glared at my husband. Thank G.d I had convinced him to book a room  with a bathtub and I wanted recognition for my good sense because that  became our improvised fridge. I will spare you the details of how we  showered in between ice cubes during those 10 days, and how my days  revolved around keeping the food frozen!

And as if this was not enough stress, both my son and daughter caught  the stomach bug, a nasty virus that spread quickly around the ship, and  after that was cleared up, a double ear infection (for my son) and a  sinus infection (for my daughter). At that point and not a moment too  soon because I was battling murderous thoughts, my husband saved his ass  by mumbling something that sounded like gratitude or a blessing (I  wasn’t really listening) for all the medications he thought I was insane  for packing and for all the times he rolled his eyes at me.

Our room looked an infirmary, and it was a full time job for me (not  the housekeeping service!) to manage strollers, bags, meds, food and all  the paraphernalia. My only enjoyment was to watch, on the brief moments  I emerged from my room, the other family members actually enjoy the  cruise and then I crawled back, physically and morally exhausted.

My recovery was very long and painful.

On the other hand, I did learn a few precious tricks:

Plan ahead (I did that, but I mean really plan ahead)

You already know that you need to pack lunches and  snacks and juices, perhaps supplements and probiotics and activated  charcoal. NEVER FORGET THE ACTIVATED CHARCOAL. You need to think about  what will keep your sanity in the inevitable moments of travel stress.  Whatever it takes, puzzles, movies, ipad, favorite toys. Bring them!  Bring as much as you can.

Pack food (I did that too, but stressed the whole time there might not be enough)

If your child has to be on a very specific diet, or has feeding  issues, go ahead and pack all of it, make sure to bring some familiar  foods. There is nothing wrong with bringing your own home made fruit  roll up or favorite cookies.

Save your breath ( and your strength)

This is one of those times where other people are going to think  you’re obnoxious and catering to your child’s whims instead of forcing  them to experience new things and try new foods. Learn to ignore them; you don’t have to explain. They’re not the ones who will have to put your stressed/rashy/  hungry/constipated child to bed at night so don’t ever feel you have to  justify yourself.

Pack smartly

People who tell you to “pack light” clearly have no idea what they’re  talking about and most likely do not have small children. The thing to  do is try to pack smart so that you don’t end up folded over in  excruciating pain, dragging your sore body and five duffel bags from one  place to the next.

Accept the sleep situation (not yours, cuz you ain’t going to sleep!)

Routine is the key word

Your schedule will be all messed up but your routine doesn’t have to  be. Try to keep the same routine you are used to at home. Even if the  bedtime is pushed back to 10:30pm, read that story, make the deep  pressure massage, brush the teeth. Whatever the routine, don’t try to  short cut it, you’ll be banging your head against the wall at midnight  having to deal with cranky kids who can’t sleep because it’s all wrong.

Check your bags

If you’re flying, you’re going to have to check some bags. Your days  of flouncing off the plane and past the baggage conveyor are over. And  then, there’s that suitcase full of coconut butter. Airport security  agents will rip you apart if you attempt to pass that as a carry-on, and  G.d knows we don’t want to piss them off.

Secondly, even if you manage to jam your family’s stuff into a  carry-on (wishful thinking), it’s going to be the heaviest damn carry-on  evah. I make my husband carry all the cabin baggage and the heavy  cooler, and it’s his responsibility to chase my son around the airport.  Call me a bitch, I don’t care. It’s tough shit but hey, I sweated it out  in the kitchen and with the packing. His turn now!

Bring all the available documentation

Bring the original bottles of all prescription meds. Bring a letter  from your doctor stating that your child has autism, and/or a list of  your child’s allergies and special needs. Whip it out to shut the traps  of those giving you a hard time about pre-boarding or being allowed to  bring your own food into restaurants.

Lower your expectations

Don’t expect to have the same kind of fun as everyone else. You don’t  have the same lifestyle. Just remember that trips and vacations are  supposed to be about making memories. Create your own, and don’t worry  if they’re not perfect. No one’s life is perfect and focus on the funny  things that happen during your trip. Those are the best memories anyway.

Stand out and be proud

Believe it or not, having the largest stock of meds on board, I  became the family’s supplier, a.k.a. “the dealer” on the ship, providing  activated charcoal and other homeopathic remedies to relieve the  stomach virus and other minor ailments.

Looking back, I know now it was worth every single effort because it  wasn’t in vain. In my son’s mind, memories were created. And to this day  he still takes about that trip and asks if we can go again on the “big  boat”.

And just for that, I’d do it again in a heart’s beat. ♥

~Prima

For more posts by Prima, please click here.