I recently wrote a post about the importance of parents taking charge of their childrens’ health and questioning medical interventions and protocols to make sure they are what is best for their family. Since then I have done a lot of thinking about this topic.
Unfortunately for parents, asking questions of your child’s medical practitioner is frowned upon. In many cases questions are countered with attitude, disdain or even open hostility from the doctor or nurse. But perhaps more upsetting is that there is also a great deal of animosity in the general population toward parents that question our medical system. This anger is often directed toward the autism community.
I have read many times and in many places that parents who are working toward recovering their children from autism are monsters. That we can’t accept that our children aren’t perfect. That we are looking for excuses or someone to blame for our child’s disability. That we are endangering our children. That we are endangering other children. That we don’t love and accept our children for who they are.
None of this could be further from the truth. If you have spent any time with the parents of children with autism that I personally know, you would not be able to find a more loving, supportive, caring group of people. The love and devotion showered upon their children is unmatched. They all accept and love their children, enjoy their children, and work tirelessly to help them in every area of their lives.
Somehow, when it comes to autism, a line has been drawn in the sand. Here on one side, you accept and love your child for who they are, and, here on the other, you don’t and want the autism gone. But this is not a black and white issue. You can absolutely love and accept your child and who they are, and still work toward improving your child’s health and their outcomes in life. Many of these parents watched their healthy, typical children regress into autism, and working toward restoring your child’s health and functioning level to what it was pre-regression is an amazing act of love.
But here’s where the real problem comes in, and where the animosity toward the community plays out: Parents who watched this happen have questions. Lots of them. Many of these parents believe that vaccines, or antibiotics, or anesthesia, or other toxic insults to the body helped lead to this regression in their children. They believe this because they watched it all happen.
These parents are then at the doctor asking questions. And when the doctor has no answer for them — other than, “It’s genetic” — they research. And they learn about environmental toxins and the effects on the brain, and they then make sure that everything that goes into their children’s bodies is going to contribute to their child’s health and well-being.
But is it just parents of children with autism that do this? NO. It isn’t. There are thousands upon thousands of parents out there that are watching what is happening to the children in this country. Our children are not healthy. They aren’t. There is so much chronic illness among children that HALF have some type of diagnosis, whether it be asthma, allergies, ADHD, autism, sensory processing problems, or any one of the auto-immune disorders that are out there.
So, yes . . . We have questions. Lots of them.
We question our doctors about each and every medication that our children are being prescribed, and, after we leave, we will research the side effects ourselves and make the decision whether or not to administer them.
We read vaccine inserts, and make our own very personal choices regarding which vaccines our children will get, and when, if at all.
We read labels and ask at the farmers’ market if the strawberries have been sprayed with pesticides, and we seek out non-GMO food for our families.
And, because we see these chronic conditions in the halls of our schools and because we ask questions, we are called anti-vaccine wackos. We are called parasites. We are called ‘dangerous.’
I argue that, really, this has nothing to do with autism at all. This has to do with the health of our kids. Period. And I am not anti-anything. I am pro-health. I want information about what is going on with my kids’ health in order to make decisions that are best for them. I won’t be bullied into making hasty medical decisions or doing anything just because a doctor says that is what is best. If you read my other post, you know that I have first-hand experience when it comes to getting the quickie doctor’s office visit. Five minutes in a room, here’s a handful of meds, and off you go! But because I question, I am one of those tin-foil-hat-crazy moms.
Does that seem right to you? That we must always listen and do what we are told and never ask, “Is this right? Is this okay for my kids? Hold on, what are the side effects? Is this safe?”
A short while ago, a friend of mine who had a baby in the spring went in for her son’s well visit. She really wanted to discuss vaccines and an alternative schedule. Her doctor completely strong-armed her and explained that there isn’t that much mercury in the shots, and most people are really just worried about the mercury in the MMR, and that all the studies show that vaccines are safe. Thankfully, my friend left this doctor as he wouldn’t answer any of her questions and refused discussion.
Now for those of you who have done any research on vaccines, do you see the problem with this exchange?
Yep. Mercury? It’s in the flu shot. The MMR is a live-virus vaccine and has never contained mercury. The doctor should know this, right? We know because we did our homework.
But what if . . . the doctors don’t know? Clearly this one didn’t! So right off the bat you are getting incorrect information to base your medical decision on. And we aren’t supposed to ask questions? How can we not??? How can we go forward trusting doctors when it all feels so careless and forced upon us?
This isn’t about autism. It really isn’t even about vaccines. It is about a medical system that right now is broken. It runs on fear and misinformation and is not working anymore. If it were, we would be seeing children getting healthier, and, if we were seeing a decline in chronic illness in our kids, it might be a different story. But we’re not, and it isn’t.
We are seeing people getting kicked out of their pediatrician’s practice for requesting an alternative vaccine schedule. We are seeing more kids with allergies than ever before. We are seeing kids on more and more prescription medications. The US is one of the lowest-ranked first-world countries when it comes to infant mortality rates.
And I’m not supposed to ask questions?
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Beyond essential, emergency care, the medical system – mainstream, allopathic medicine – is rotten to the core. It was created by a hierarchy interested only in forwarding the sales of its pharmaceutical divisions, and the evidence is all too compelling that monetary greed has been usurped by even darker motivations. The only saving grace is the good will of most of its practitioners, and that’s all too often hamstrung by the various systemic coercions, from plain old job security to the same cognitive dissonance experienced by so much of the general public; an understandable terribly unfortunate inability to entertain the notion that their educations were not only seriously deficient, but corrupt. There’s no excuse for the medical establishment teaching nothing about nutrition in medical school. The fundamental definition of a doctor is a healer, and you can’t heal the body if you don’t know how the body heals. There’s no excuse for the medical establishment teaching nothing about the reality, nature or extent of vaccine damage in medical school – to the very doctors upon whom we are then told to rely to fully inform our vaccine decisions.
We’re beyond asking questions. A white coat and a stethoscope do not a healer make. We must educate ourselves.
I applaud you for asking questions and leaving when you felt sure you were being dismissed. One question: how does a parent separate when his/her question isn’t being answered vs when the question is unanswerable because it presumes information that is false or incomplete? For examples:
1) “Why won’t you prescribe antibiotics for an earache that is obviously severe?”
That question is honest and answerable, though probably still gets the answer the parent does not want.
2) “Why would you cripple my daughter’s immune system by giving vaccines?”
That question represents a clear misunderstanding of that the immune system is and how it works. Unless the parent is willing to accept a very cursory summary statement that this is not how the immune system works, it is likely unanswerable in a 15, 30, or 60 minute visit. Worse, the question presumes the answer, and makes it clear the parent does not want any sort of answer, and any possible discussion has already been shut down.
3) “I know all about vaccines. Why are you insisting on getting rich by getting kickbacks from drug companies by forcing vaccines into my child?”
This presumes that you were able to absorb the info gleaned in 12 yrs of college, med school, and residency without doing that. It also presumes that the decision to recommend vaccines somehow gets the physician more money, and that the physician is willing to take money for intentionally hurting your child.
Why would anyone bother to speak with you? You have made up your mind and decided the person to whom you came for advice and assistance is actually out to get you.
So how do we help parents ask useful questions, rather than either blindly accepting the doctor’s initial advice or blindly presuming that a doctor can’t know a few things that you don’t (or you would be practicing medicine yourself)?
Great article! I to have a vaccine/antibiotic damaged child. Took me a long time to see the reality of what was happening. I will do anything to keep my son healthy. People think I’m nuts and can’t understand what’s wrong with feeding their kids M&M’s and Gatorade and McDonalds! I don’t even talk about vaccines anymore. Beyond frustrating.. I’ve come to the conclusion that most just can’t handle the truth of what’s happening in the world. I pray for us all.
Love that you posted this! This is exactly how I feel. We have done some vaccines, but after more research we have chosen to not continue. When I question the medical community I am met with negativity and treated like I am stupid. I wish there was a way we could get truth and honesty from the medical community and the holistic side of things. Shouldn’t we all want whats best for our children and their future, and not what is best for ourselves?
Surely if your GP refuses to answer questions, or gives you the wrong information, then go and see another doctor! It’s as simple as that, you can’t put all health professionals in the same basket. I know a lot of naturapaths that won’t answer questions too, or don’t know all the answers.
It’s so incredibly discouraging and mind-numbingly frustrating to hear or read the same few statements and false information coming from those who quite often refuse to even hear a thinking person out when it comes to vaccines and vaccine safety. I always say, read up on the immune system, learn how it’s supposed to work, really read and study the disease history vs vaccine side effects. Yet, I’m not heard.
I know I’m “new to the game” so far as saying anything on the subject publicly, but it’s so disheartening to basically be called a liar when I’ve actually learned a bit about the immune system and I don’t have a child that’s suffering from vaccine-injury. I’ve worked with many kids before and I can tell the difference.
Why does the new normal have to be illness??
My question exactly. They won’t even call it illness anymore because that wouldn’t be normal. Now it’s just a different wiring or something. I know that the children are suffering, but this too is denied. Not mere emotional suffering either, but there is physical discomfort as well. A lot of it. Not pain, exactly, but the feeling that you’d like to crawl out of your skin. It’s hard to live that way.
I have two children, 3yrs and 18months. Never a vaccine, never an antibiotic. NEVER sick. In the beginning, as a new mom I received much more flack from friends and family than I do now. I armed myself with knowledge and decided I was much more afraid of the side effects (rare as they may be) than my child getting any of the illnesses they were preventing. For the same reasons I don’t sky dive. I don’t like the chance that I *May* die. SO, to avoid death and injury, I don’t skydive. What’s “risky” about not doing something that has dangerous side effects? Over the past 3 years I’ve proved everyone wrong and even turned provaxers into THINKERS! I’m preaching truth to all my peers having their first babies and family planning. I don’t care if the person I went to hs with unfriends me bc I made her question her medical brainwashed beliefs. I’m so passionate about raising awareness and preventing further harm to anyone’s baby! I couldn’t imagine that heartache as a parent. I couldn’t live with myself if I stayed silent knowing what I know. Sometimes I get the impression from people that they think I want everyone to be like me. So not true, I just want their kids to be as healthy as mine! The odds are in their favor if they just THINK.
This article says it so right! I was just listening to Doctor Radio (SiriusXM) and they were discussing Chron’s disease in children. It blows my mind that our medical community thinks it is A-OK for children to have debilitating diseases such as this and consider it the new normal. Lots of pediatric gastroenterologists now. We never needed them before, but now we have a children with major auto-immune disorders and nothing is thought about it. Just treat the symptoms with a drug or surgery and hope for the best. And comfort and convince the parents to think its ok also.
Learning what is critical to know WRT to your own well being and that of your child is what is required. Allopathic medicine is good only for occasional diagnoses and trauma care. All other allopathic care is detrimental to your good and long term health.