I recently polled some of my favorite people in the world and asked them what their deadline was for recovery when their child was first diagnosed. As you can see by the responses below, none of the Thinking Moms and Dad expected a life-long journey at that time. Most of them wanted their child recovered by the time they began formal schooling and none of them wanted their child to enter the horrendous middle school years with a diagnosis. It goes without saying that not anyone reading this ever considered that they would still be riding the biomed train when their child entered high school.
- Two years from diagnosis
- By kindergarten
- Three months
- 4th grade
- Three years from diagnosis
- By age 5
- Age 6
- A year, two at the max
- 3rd grade
Over the past two years since I hopped on the train, I have often been stopped dead in my tracks when I read comments from other struggling parents feeling like they are running out of time. The clock is ticking and they are panicking. I get it. I really do. I sympathize, empathize and every other “thize” one can do. BUT, it also scares the ever-loving crap out of me. The thing is, I didn’t know anything about alternative treatments when my daughter was in kindergarten, third grade, or even when she entered middle school. When I finally heard others talk about dietary interventions for leaky gut, I thought I was super lucky in that my daughter got to eat whatever she wanted. Ha! Joke was on me. Little did I know that she was not absorbing any vitamins or nutrients from her food. Little did I know that she was not eliminating food properly. Little did I know that the very food I was giving her, was causing her pain.
It is never too late.
I could go on and on (and on) about all the mistakes I made prior to learning about alternative options to wellness. I am not going to do that. I am not going to beat myself up for what I did during the years when I was simply following the advice of the medical community. What I am going to tell you is that although my daughter , a 15-year-old 9th grader, is far from typical, she is better off today than she was two years ago when we hopped aboard the biomed express (Yup – we started that late). On a regular basis I have to remind myself of the progress she had made, because on a regular basis I want to give up. I constantly question whether or not we actually started too late.
The window never closes.
My goal is to let people know that no, it is never too late to start. Did you hear me? NEVER. Same goes for the deadlines – it is never too late to revise them. Do it – before not reaching them kills you. We suffer enough so why focus on what our kids are not doing, when we can concentrate on what they are doing.
Throw your deadlines out the window. Make a list of positive changes. Post it somewhere where you can review it on a regular basis and smile. Embrace the positive. As for that friend/neighbor/distant relative who thinks they have missed their window – they haven’t. Let them know what I have learned – that although I wish I knew about these interventions much sooner – it truly is better late than never.
Better late than never.
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Thank you Saint. I love this because I met a man in TX who start biomed at age 51. Living with ASD, never spoke, and in very ill health he was a ward of the state. He was sent into the community from an institution to live with a woman that ran a group home and believed in alternative medicine. Within months he spoke, stopped all challenging behaviors, and was enjoying life via exercise and volunteering.
Our son even at age twenty one is still progressing through life. He now tells folks he has “a little autism” and often it’s on either side of a little. However he is doing so much better than that young child at two who was given a dx with no options for interventions let alone recovery. The window never closes….do not give up. Hope is a verb. Use it!
Thanks so much! I so needed to read this. We’ve been doing biomed for over 8 years and I was one of those people who always thought about ‘THE WINDOW.” The going is so slow and incredibly frustrating, but when I think back to where we started he has come so far. Just the other day he was pointing at something and I was like “Yeah!” – let’s hear it for joint attention! Yes, it is about 7 years later than it should have been, but hell if he goes through life only 7 years behind I can live with that!!! Just so we keep progressing. As always, it helps to feel you are not alone, that’s why I love TMR.
There absolutely is NO WINDOW! Our boy has a 40 FORTY point gain in functional assessments at 18 years old. He learns EVERY DAY! Sorry for screaming! HA!
If your son won’t eat vegetables go raw and juice them. You can juice with a little fruit or honey to help with taste. Put it in a glass with a straw. You can also make nut yogurt, juice the vegetables/fruit and mix the two together.
Thank you so much for this post – my ASD son just turned 9 today and we’ve been doing biomed for about 5 years so it’s nice to hear that kids who started at an older than him have still made progress – it’s great encouragement!
Happy birthday to your son!!!!!
Amen! Never too late! Here is an article I co-wrote with the fabulous Becky Estepp on this very subject: http://www.tacanow.org/family-resources/does-the-window-ever-close/
Moira – Thank you sooooo much for that link. I just read your article and LOVED it. Talk about hope!!!!! That was stupendous – thank you so much fir sharing it.
Totally agree. But the majority of people I meet prefer to wait for a miracle or live in The Nile until the window is only a slit left.
LOL – Thank you for making me laugh after a very long day 🙂
Keep in mind GMO foods. I’ve read its the cause of leaky gut syndrome. Its a struggle but there will be better days.
That is good information. Thank you Marisol.
Absolutely!! It is never ever too late!! I often feel like we missed opportunities early on, but once we got started, I was relentless in pursuing whatever treatment I thought might help my son. I read everything, and when I did not understand terms or menaings in what I read, I looked up definitions and kept reading until I understood. That allowed me to find the right people to help me help my son. At 14, he is doing great, but will need his biomed for life. I am trying to teach him that the health he enjoys now is fragile and he is eventually going to have to be responsible for it ( although as long as I live I will help!!).
I am so glad to hear that your son is doing so well! The teen years are tough with school cafeterias and the amount of time they are out of our care, but like you, I am just trying to teach good habits and hope they stick 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing! I am exactly in that place now, at 13, newly diagnosed, and entering Middle school, feeling very hopeless. Your blog was a message sent from above! This blog is what is keeping me going.
Dear Ann – Hoplessness is a horrible feeling. Please reach out and we will help. I can promise you from experience, that gains can be made after age 13. They really, really can!!!!! If only one preson was to read this blog today, I am glad it was you. DON’T GIVE UP!!!!!!
Thank you so much for this encouragement.
We have not been able to pursue many of the biomed avenues we would like. Sometimes, it is money, othertimes it is exhaustion, and then there is KJ himself. The child refuses to eat any veggies. And I do mean ANY.
It is nice to know that what we can accomplish is not wasted. We are still working on so much, trying to “figure it out”. It’s nice to know there is still hope.
Hope always exists – even when our cuties try to exterminate it right out of us. Hey – regarding the veggies, have you tried to hide pureed veggies in food like ground meat, sauces, etc. My daughter can’t tell it is there and I find that some pureed squash is awesome in a turkey burger. The color blends right in and it keeps it moist.
Well, if you think about it, you are never quite done with parenting. I still call my dad every week and tell him what’s going on, ask him for advise, and I know he sometimes worries about me (and I’m waaaay past 18! LOL)
The goal should be to support them to reach their best of their ability and not an inch less, starting today and stopping when they marry (then it’s the job of their wife/husband) 🙂 and even after always being there for them like dad.
Amen to that!