I’ve written helpful lists for other people before. My Autism Parent’s Bucket List made the rounds on the internet a few months ago. I was inspired to write a much shorter list today. I created it with the help of my awesome sister who shares the same sentiments that I do, though for slightly different reasons. This list is for those people who post things on Facebook that really just irk me.
#1 – Posting this status on Facebook: Little Johnny is getting his shots tomorrow. 🙁
For the love of all that is holy, why do parents post that as their status? Would you ever post, “Hey, I’m getting my annual Pap smear tomorrow.” Or, “Dude, I gotta turn my head and cough tomorrow.”
No, you probably wouldn’t.
So why do parents insist on telling all their Facebook friends that they are willingly letting someone jab their kids with all manner of known neurotoxins? One of my theories is that the people who post that sort of stuff aren’t 100% certain that they should do it. Another theory is that they are subconsciously admitting that they are scared shitless, and in posting that type of status, they are hoping their friends will give them permission to not get the vaccines. Alas, the more depressing theory that’s probably closer to the truth is that they just don’t know enough to know better. They are just going with the flow and following the schedule that has landed so many of us in the middle of this revolution.
If you are someone who posts that message, don’t be surprised if I come along and post a whole bunch of reasons why not to vaccinate. The first one would involve the retelling of Ronan’s story, which you should know by heart already.
#2 – Posting a picture of your kid in the exam room at a “well-baby” visit
Why not post this? Four words for you: Post. Traumatic. Stress. Disorder. Seriously. It doesn’t take much to bring me back to that bitter, dark time when I held Ronan down to receive his vaccines. Seeing your unsuspecting bundle of joy sitting on the crisp white paper of the exam table sends shivers down my spine.
And, hello! Privacy much? Would you want your mother to share a photo of your time in the stirrups during your Pap? Or while hanging out in your altogether about to be examined? Doubtful.
It’s none of my business, but by publicly sharing a personal picture of that nature on my newsfeed, you make it my business. I will say that more non-autism friends post this sort of “memory” on their wall. I think they shouldn’t. Why post a picture of your child mostly nude and about to be assaulted by a bunch of neurotoxins? Keep your private health care appointments private.
#3 – Asking this question on my wall: “Hey, Sally just spiked a high fever and is really out of it. She got seven shots yesterday. Should I be worried?”
Should you be freaking worried? Really?!
I just died a thousand times. Truly, I did. This sort of post is another 
PTSD trigger with an added, ‘Are you KIDDING me?’ being screamed in my head as I bite my tongue to stifle an ‘I told you so.’
But since I am all about helping people, of course I will walk you through your kid’s adverse vaccine reaction. I will inform you of available detox protocols, and I’ll steer you in the right direction should she need therapy in the future. Later, when you realize how betrayed I felt and how obtuse you were in the face of my son’s living proof of an adverse vaccine reaction, you can apologize for making me want to beat my head against a wall. But first, we get to work to fix your kid.
#4 – Complain that your typical kid is doing typical kid things:
Oh. My. Gosh. FYI, you’re not a martyr, nor are you the first parent to deal with kids who keep messy rooms, misbehave, or talk back.
Be thankful your kid can do typical things. Be happy that your kid can make and share their opinion, even when it counters yours. And realize this: at least your kid can talk. Mine is still in diapers. He cannot take care of himself. I may never get the chance to hear him say I love you. So keep your whiny self quiet, and count your blessings. Really, truly count them. You don’t realize how many you have.
To the non-vaccine injury parent, this list may have been eye-opening to read. It may even sound harsh. I meant it to sound that way. Because if we are friends on FB, then you know that my vaccine-injured kid has gone through hell. Maybe some people haven’t acknowledged it or think their kid will be the exception. I have news for you. I was in that same mindset. That kind of thinking didn’t do Ronan or me any good.
I’m sure I could add a lot more to this list, but these will have to do for now. They are the ones that I’ve seen recently on Facebook and that have irked me the most lately. I hate that these types of Facebook shares irritate me so much. I don’t want to be so ill-affected by them. But I can’t guarantee that I won’t hold back a comment or two if I do come across one. I may have to remind the person to clue in a little bit. I may also share obvious vaccine-injury warning signs my child waves right in front of their faces. Who knows? Maybe by speaking up, I’ll help someone avert a similar post-vaccination journey like the one Ronan and I are walking. One can always hope.
~ Mamacita
For more blogs by Mamacita click here.
I am not a mother (may never be one due to health issues), but every time I see a post about someones kid getting what seems like a million shots I just CRINGE. Breaks my heart. I never thought about vaccines until I started going Paleo and my doctors started treating me using natural medicine. Not my husband and I have decided that if we are blessed with a baby we will not be vaccinating, we do not get vaccinated, and are going as natural as we can. Prayers and hugs from one woman to another. Your child is a blessing, even if it isn’t the blessing you thought it was going to be.
I am grateful everyday that I walked away from vaccines with only a peanut allergy. It was all the stories parents shared that made me question vaccines, understand the serious consequences associated with vaccines and start investigating. I am well aware that my son and our family benefited from suffering of other families. I know that there are many moms that would trade places with me in a second and that puts any problem I may have into perspective.
Great post. I have to disagree with some of the commenters though. Seriously, keep that crap private. Anytime I have ever taken my child to the doctor I am hearing babies be held down and screaming. It is a nightmare and I don’t see it as a happy time. Just because the author is venting here, does not mean she complains on facebook. Complaining on facebook has a level of idiocy all its own. No offense. Just post a status if you are proud of your child’s growth.
Also, any pic you have ever put on facebook is no longer your property, but belongs to facebook. Read their policies. Anyone can take them and do whatever they want with them, and you have no rights to them.
How can you fault parents for complaining or celebrating about their typical child? I have a six year old with significant special needs and a very typical two year old. Am I not supposed to vent about her terrible two behavior because my older daughter may never reach this developmental milestone? Trust me, it is a bittersweet experience and I often cry about it, but I would never begrudge my friend’s happiness or irritation because they haven’t walked in my shoes. Number four just sounded like a pity party and really seemed out of place on your list.
PTSD. fear. AnGeR. — seriously legit.
I do not have a vaccine-damaged child. Or a child with any major issues. We started off vaccinated our daughters for a couple years, then stopped about 6 years ago. The oldest is 8.5. Anyway… when I hear a mother announce that her child got X ammount of shots — I cringe. Like, sinking-in-my-stomach cringe. I can’t really imagine the warrior-mothers (who are raising special-needs kids) cringe response.
God Bless
I have a dear friend who is having a hard time with her babies not being babies anymore. She’s been one of the most supportive of all my friends towards are situation, especially our exploring biomedical treatments. I love her dearly.
I have a hard time biting my tongue when she laments her children’s independence. I know if I offer the perspective that my son will never reach this level of independence she would get it and feel terrible. I try to remind myself that I am SO glad so many people I love are going through what she is because their children are healthy.
I’m never sure how to respond when a friend posts about their baby getting shots, mainly because I can’t afford to spend a whole day on the computer after opening that can of worms, especially when I know it won’t make a difference.
I also long for the day when I won’t cringe when I hear a friend announce that she’s having a boy or silently let a sigh of measured relief that she’s having a girl.
Very sorry to hear about your son. I have heard of your blog, but didn’t know the details of your son’s injuries.
Most people believe the fear mongers. Most but not all. Some of us think. =)
Good Luck
Liz Tully
This post immediately made me think of the video clips on youtube that a friend brought to my attention. The ones where the (happy) parent films the (screaming) baby being vaccinated. And then they post it for all the world to see. My friend was appalled; she called them , “the smoking gun” of evidence for when they need to reconstruct a timeline. My hope is that the parents keep filming in the days and weeks that follow.
Thank you for always telling it like it is.
Not all “well baby visit” pictures are of your baby/child before shots. I took my daughter to a few of her “well baby” appointments but didn’t have her get any shots yet I did take some pictures of her while we were there and if I remember correctly I posted them to share with our family how well she was growing. She looked adorable in her little diaper that helped show off her chubby rolls and the florescent lighting offered a great photo opportunity.
I agree that the typical posts you’re referring to aren’t the same as my experience but it’s not fair to assume that just because someone gets a picture in a doctors office during a visit it doesn’t mean that they are vaccinating their kids. 🙂
And you best remind people that irritate you on FB that you have a SISTEr and she’s got your back
Not to mention all those other family types that just wait for you to release them.
Mama who <3 U
My mil has seen all my posts recently about my stance on vaccinating children and the fact that I chose not to vaccinate my son last year before he started school. I blindly vaccinated until he was 18 months. I had been reluctant up to that point. I had read some info on both sides of the argument and had not made up my mind. I was not thrilled about the hep b vaccine before leaving the hospital, but I am also a chronic pain patient and I was already under scrutiny for having the nerve to have a baby while taking medication for pain. This was WITH the SUPPORT of my physicians (pain doctor, OB, and perinatal specialist). But they were hassling me in the hospital about wanting to breast feed while still on these meds. One doctor came in to see my son (pediatrician who was on call that weekend) and asked me, “So you are not going to take any more pain meds right?” My answer was, “Um no that is not what has been discussed with all my doctors nor is it the plan.” He then went on to lecture me, so I said, “No offense sir, it’s not up to you.” He shook his head and left. Had it not been for this interrogation by him and several others, I would have refused to Hep B vaccine.
I wish now I had refused the Hep B vaccine as I am sure my son had problems with it from the very start. We have two other biological children who did not get the Hep B vaccine, due to their age, as it wasn’t given when they were babies. They did not have the high pitched cries, the constant drip of stool, and the inability to sleep in places and at times that most babies do. He never blew bubbles or made all the sounds that babies make when practicing to speak. By 1 year, my son could not speak more than two words ma ma and da da. Everything else he tried to say, just came out as babble. By 18 months, he only had a 10 word vocabulary and was getting very frustrated with trying to communicate. I could figure out most of it and he followed all my instructions and understood me, so we knew it wasn’t a hearing issue.
I called Early Childhood Intervention and they came out and did an evaluation. He was diagnosed with Apraxia of Speech and low muscle tone in his trunk and jaw. He also was diagnosed with a sensory disorder and fine motor problems. I then refused all vaccines, because it was after his 1 year shots that he got much worse and was even flapping his ears when he was tired, frustrated, or angry.
So my mil brought up the issue about vaccines and drug companies and called me biased. I told her, she would be biased too if she watched all the things that go on behind the scenes in a doctor’s office. I am a nurse and watched the drug reps pay the doctors to prescribe certain meds and push vaccinations of all kinds. Between what I saw working in that environment, to the damage caused my son, I will continue to be biased and to educate others to be biased too and will stand proud that I joined the revolution of mothers who are standing up for their children’s health!
Thanks for giving other parents the warning that we never had. Last year I cringed when a FB friend wrote about how funny and cute it was when they had to hold down their toddler during vaccination, and how he kicked the doctor.
At this point, people are either part of the problem (by turning a blind eye to the injured and to children’s ever-increasing health problems, purposefully covering up the truth, refusing to investigate the real threats to our health, choosing to rest in false security vs. challenging the status quo, not speaking up and sharing what they know, refusing to provide or require informed consent, etc.) or part of the solution as it pertains to trying to stop the myriad of things we are doing that is decimating our health and well-being, especially that of our children. Thank you for being part of the solution, Mamacita! We must all cry out against the damage being done under the deceptive cover of doing things for “the greater good,” be it damage from vaccines, GMOs, glyphosates, pesticides, dangerous chemicals in our food, home, and personal products, etc., etc. The “greater good” begins with health at the individual level, not at the collective level. For each child whose health is ruined, the costs to society are astronomical in many ways. Ever-increasing numbers of sick, disabled, and dead children are in no way enhancing “the greater good.” That is a total crock! Keep up the good fight, Cat! May God bless you and your entire family 🙂
Amen on all of that, from the CDC to the FDA and EPA we are not protected. Most government policy and legislature is based on corporate lobbying, not the public health interest. The CDC will never admit to any wrongdoing here, it will have to be forced, I hope by the Congressional Oversight Committee. I stand up for our human right to GMO labeling, vaccination choice, and am honestly ashamed at our present state of spinning ineffective research and discrediting brave scientists and doc’s that speak their controversial findings. I am on a mission to share Ginger Taylor’s list of 70+ scientific studies that show potential for causation through various bio markers with every doctor I meet.
If they want to debate the issue concerning my child and his vaccination history, I challenge them to at least read the 10 studies that are most relevant to my son. Many will never read these documents…the few that do are shocked that so much evidence truly exists highlighting connections to autism and more!
If your child experiences an adverse reaction, as mine did, it is like waking up to an alternate universe of sorts. It flies against all the popular dogma you’ve heard throughout your life. 1 in 50 children are diagnosed with autism today. I never even thought to question vaccinations during my son’s first year of life. the doctor reassured me that they were necessary, safe, and not a problem – despite my son’s persistent and severe G.I. infections, double ear infections, and UTI’s. we were doing weight checks 3 days a week and he was not thriving. they blamed everything, but his shots, when he had to be hospitalized with bloody diarrhea, severe UTI, high fevers, and staring/crying spells. This didn’t just happen the first time, it happened the second time as well. We Mom’s are pretty intelligent. We search for answers when our children are not well…it’s impossible to ignore this need. I have read countless studies on everything from vaccination reactions, to food allergy developments, GMO food hazards, and exposure to chemicals like Glyphosate (RoundUp). I don’t know if it was the series of vaccines alone, or combination of severe food allergies, persistent C. Diff and Candida infections, – or damages of environmental factors like pesticide/herbicide exposure (live in Fresno, fields are walking distance from my house)… I stay on top of current research and am disheartened by the media’s concern for ad register dollars over the good of we American people. I only wish I had known to look at this more carefully from the trenches of those sleepless, scary, psychotic-feeling days where I trusted my doctor so completely. Why didn’t I think to question them? That’s what compels me to share truths with others today. I wish someone had known and reached out to me at that time… Perhaps my son wouldn’t have developed regressive autism and severe food allergies.
There is no way this epidemic is purely caused through genetics. Enough children have been damaged to justify a screening process to identify children with susceptibilities before initiating vaccination. The CDC continues to side-step the issues by redirecting research to irrelevant subjects and manipulating study design to provide the outcome desired by pharma manufacturers seeking profit. It’s no different than the GMO food debate…adequate safety testing was never done and on top of that we’re trusting corporations to vouch for their products’ safety! There is a long history of corruption here. Everyone should be speaking out, calling their government reps, and sharing their personal experiences. Doctor’s need to look at the recent decade of research, instead of relying on information from their med school days or shoddy, impartial studies on fractional truths that misdirect perception on the real dangers for some kiddos and vaccination. Google Ginger Taylor Autism Studies for an amazing bit of ammo to help you have these difficult conversations. This is the only way doctor’s will become aware of the many dimensions to this issue.
Sorry if I shared too much, I get so passionate about this, and am currently experiencing lots of disagreements with our doctor’s. So many of them are badly misinformed. It is up to us to push this paradigm shift for all children to be given an individualized assessment and increased respect for parental rights.
Also know that you should never vaccinate a teething baby as that is the most dangerous time. Or that you should never use Tylenol with vaccines as it causes more issues.
I was with you until the 4th point. That one is just a bitter petty party. My daughter died from AML leukemia and yet as friends share that their own now teens are learning to drive and scaring them, their sassiness, rebellious behaviour is driving them nuts, I imagine and have enough empathy to know they love their kids, but just need a good vent. Time to step outside of yourself. It is very apparent that if your own child was doing all those things, you’d be complaining. I get that all easily from this post. You don’t want to see your friends posts, change your fb settings.
I finally got off Facebook several months ago, because I couldn’t stand it anymore.
The bad was outweighing the good. And it is amazing the things people share on there. How about “my daughter got all straight A’s on her report card!” or “parent/teacher conferences went wonderfully – all 3 kids got glowing reports from their teachers.” Who cares?!! It’s not bitter grapes to say, with the amount of special ed kids out there these days, don’t you have any consideration for the parents who have kids that no matter how hard they try, will never get an A? That a D might be cause for celebration? Couldn’t take it anymore!
I completely understand that these posts trigger something in you, but the well baby visit pictures seem a little unfair. Not all visits involve vaccines. And in most cases, I think the parent posting those photos thinks their baby is cute in just their diaper, and they’re excited about how much they’re growing, and it is an exciting memory, especially for a first time parent. I’ve personally never posted pictures of my baby at the doctor, but I could see the reasoning behind wanting to share that. I was raped outside a restaurant in my area, and that restaurant often shows up on my newsfeed because I have friends eating there and posting pictures. I scroll quickly past and it triggers a little something in me, but I’m not upset about it or mad at my friends. I’ll never eat there again, but I don’t expect my friends to stop eating there or quit posting pictures or even to expect them to think “What would Jade think about this?” before they post it. It’s their life, and they’re living it. I certain don’t think I should be a thought-point on their posting decisions. It seems a little self-righteous to think so. I respect your sentiment and enjoy the blog, just wanted to share a little different insight. Blessings!
I understand that you are going through a hard time with your kid along with everyone else. But this post is ridiculous.
You are saying that I am not allowed to post complaints on my child being annoying or misbehaving because he his healthy, but you are allowed to post about your troubles with your child? you said “Because if we are friends on FB, then you know that my vaccine-injured kid has gone through hell.” – so you can post but I can’t? My father is dead, so I should be mad at people when they post “oh god my father was so annoying yesterday” – no that’s nuts. Because my father died a horrible untimely death at a young age doesn’t mean everyone has to center their posts around mine. Maybe you shouldn’t be on facebook if your so sensitive.
I am not allowed to post pictures of my child in the doctors office either?
You say “So why do parents insist on telling all their Facebook friends that they are willingly letting someone jab their kids with all manner of known neurotoxins?” – So you think that these parents are bragging about poisoning their kids? Didnt you also get the vaccines for your kid? Did you think you were “willingly letting someone jab their kids with all manner of known neurotoxins?” or helping your kid?
This is such a bitter post, and I understand why your kid has autism. But you need to get over this bitterness or it will eat you. Parents are allowed to complain about their kids, post pictures of their visits to the doctors office, and post that their kid is getting shots. Facebook is to update family on what is going on in your life.
Great post!
May I add one more?
I get PSTD from the FB friends who post links that trash Jenny McCarthy, or who post links to headlines that scream “No vaccine link to autism!” or “Autism linked to color of uncle’s underwear!” along with a tag saying, this might be helpful to you. 🙂 have a great day!”
And since my son is recovered, I’ve had it EASIER than most of you!
That’s what scares me the most, really. The friends. The ones we KNOW aren’t pharmashills. The ones who don’t listen to us when our children have immediate and obvious vaccine reactions. (“You must have imagined it! 🙂 Have a great day!”) The same ones who don’t listen when our children start to recover as soon as we stop listening to the doctors (“He must not have REALLY had autism. 🙂 Have a great day!”)
They’re just as much responsible as the pharmaceutical industry for letting this happen.