Diary of a Mad Autism Housewife!
Backstory: We are treating Nick with homotoxicology and he is currently detoxing bacteria. I can describe what this has been like in an expression borrowed from Sunshine, “Holy fuckballs!” My previously passive little guy has been impulsive, non-compliant and an emotional roller coaster. For example; during 1:1 reading tutoring, he ran right out of his school building onto a busy city street. At home he has been using that age-old toddler technique of ‘going boneless’ and slithering to the floor when you try to physically redirect him. He is just about to turn eight and weighs 50 pounds. My back, entirely unaided by any core abdominal strength, has taken the brunt of these episodes, and last week it collapsed. Here is the story, blow by blow, of why autism moms fear getting sick almost more than death itself.
Day Zero-Sunday
I was racing to finish the bedtime routine before my work phone call, and Nick got silly about getting into the bath. I scrambled so he wouldn’t hit his head on the tub. I lunged and… snap! Gulp. I knew I had really done it this time. I let my husband know my back was really out. He offered faint sympathies and the bedtime routine roared on. I grabbed the heating pad, did my work call and kept worry to a minimum. In the kitchen, just after Dave had gone to sleep, my back went into spasm and my legs went out from underneath me sending me crashing to the kitchen floor. I was panicked. If I weren’t an autism mom, my first thoughts would have been ‘Poor me. My God, this is excruciating! What if there is something really wrong with me? Who will help me up?’ But because I AM an autism mom my very first thought was, “Holy Shit! How on earth can I take care of Nick when I can’t even stand up?” I slowly crawled to our bedroom on all fours, realized I need to pee, and tried crawling to the bathroom. At this point I figured out that if my back was not perfectly straight it went into spasm. This was a nightmare. In the bathroom I tried to hoist myself onto the toilet seat using the bathtub. The pain was so excruciating I threw up. Despairing, I headed back to the bedroom on all fours. The dog thought I wanted to play and started licking my face and then tried to hump me. This woke Dave up. Dave tried to help me into bed. He wanted to lift me. “No, no, no!” I screamed. I flopped on the bed in agony. I took two ibuprofen (as if that was even going to touch this). And Dave went 
right back to sleep. I lay there in pain and worry. Finally my worrying woke Dave up and we agreed he had to stay home the next day, which for him was like agreeing to an amputation.
Day One-Monday
There were so many logistics to be lined up from my fetal position in bed. I was like a wounded, shrill Patton. “Neely needs a ride to school. Nick needs a straw in his lunch box. Someone needs to let the dog out. We need to cancel Nick’s eye appointment” And the supplements! The endless, complicated vitamins, oils, tinctures, pellets all neatly organized in my brain and not on paper. Most inconvenient and embarrassing, Mummie needed a bedpan because she was immobile. Everyone went out the door and the house was quiet and still for a moment. I sucked it up and called the internist I haven’t spoken to for four years after I left my last physical (don’t judge) with the list of all the grown-up tests I was supposed to do and promptly didn’t. Her whole shtick is western meds, the more the merrier. So for this crisis she was a perfect fit. Three prescriptions into the pharmacy – BAM! The heating pad/ice pack rotation began. I emailed my mom 2,000 miles away. I was worried.
The kids came home from school and Neely walked in to our room to find me right where she had left me that morning and asked, “Are you going to die?” “No, honey,” I reassured her. But trying to run this family from a prone position felt like it just might kill me. Up to this point I had stayed away from the big narcotic out of some puritanical bullshit, but it was time to bring on the big gun. Both my hubby and I thought this would make me loopy, but it didn’t. I credit the extreme pain for taking all the fun out of it. After a hair-raising experience of Nick jumping on our bed with me in it, stimming to Baby Einstein’s Old MacDonald DVD and not understanding why he needed to stop, Neely came in and did her homework with me while we watched Ellen together. I love Ellen. Ellen on Vicodin is sublime. Neely then decided it would help me feel better if she brushed my hair ( big knots – ouch!) and used every facial product I own in a rather random order: foundation, then scrubby cleanser with no water, then moisturizer, then a little eye shadow on the lips just because she could get away with it.
Prone Patton was all glammed up to orchestrate putting hubby through the dinner/bath/enema/vitamins/bedtime battle plan. All went relatively smoothly until we hit the enema which has always been my task with Nick. I overheard my husband say “Nick we are going to go do poops and tomorrow Mumma will give you an enema.” Nick said, “Enema today.” Hubby replied, “No, Mumma can do that tomorrow.” Nick said more strongly, “Enema today, NOW!” Dave complied and was shocked that after Nick pooped, then had an enema, a second, huge amount of poop came out which would have sat inside him all night. This shifted his thinking a bit. Considering I was still in horrific shape, Dave agreed to stay home again the next day. I thanked the universe for this because so far we had been offered very little help. LuvBug and another ASD mommy did offer, but both live well over an hour away from me and have very full responsibilities at home themselves. The people, who really get how badly you need help, are the very ones who really shouldn’t have to offer, but they do.
Day Two-Tuesday
I felt no better. I was terrified to attempt getting out of bed and I worried I would have to live like one of the grandparents in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory for the rest of my life. It was Election Day. How would I vote? We had more early morning phone logistics; rides, appointments cancelled. Can we get me in to see anyone? Who is going to push this bed to that provider? I was still having a ridiculous time convincing myself it was okay to pee in my bed in the bedpan and needed a totally empty house to do it. One thing is for certain; whoever designed bedpans never met a soul with back pain, they are impossible to use.
One of Nick’s providers could see me that night. She isn’t a chiropractor but I trust her completely and it was worth it to get me there. At lunch time I tried to sit up and could – Halleluiah! I could stand too, and, walking like Tim Conway on The Carol Burnett Show, I made it ten steps. My older brother called from London. He, of all my family, is probably the one person who could fit into our lives and help our situation. But I wasn’t going to let him fly over here to help me get my socks on.
Late that afternoon we all piled into the car to take Mumma to see Joy. As I sat/hovered backwards in the front seat, we hit every pothole driving through Harvard Square. Joy does a lot of energy work and her synopsis was crystal clear: “Alison you have been stuffing so much rage down, so deep you have blown out your back.” I know. I know this. But my question to the universe is WHERE THE HELL ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO PUT IT? She related this back injury to two other times in my life when I was left to clean up someone else’s mess. My back felt the same as I left her table but my heart and head had had a workout. Dave killed the appointment time at two grocery stores with both kids. Bless him.
Back home I made a beeline for bed and asked Dave for an ice pack. In the way that he threw the ice pack on the bed I knew his tolerance for mom being on the disabled list was over. He was done taking care of me. I was on my own and my heart sank. Joy’s reminder of the rage I carry freshly inked upon my brain. Where is the help? Where are the friends? Where is the family? So I got up and did Nick’s supplements myself (frankly I didn’t have another night of Patton in me). As I was shuffling around I noticed that not one thing had been picked up or put away for two days. The house was knee high in detritus. Even Dave’s coat was lying on the floor. I felt utterly helpless because I couldn’t lean over and like a total failure as a mother. I haven’t taught my kids to pick up after themselves at all. I finished Nick’s supplements with tears streaming. Dave saw my tears and yelled at our NT child for not being more helpful. I was mad at everyone but Nick and the dog and just wanted more Vicodin. I never voted.
Day Three-Wednesday
I would be on my own and I was frightened. My kids were starting to show the strain of not having me fulfilling their regular routines. Even the dog came to the side of the bed to bark at me to get up. Joy’s work had shifted something overnight though, and I felt like I was beginning to heal.
After school I drove to pick up Nick for the first time since I hurt my back and I shuffled into his classroom to hear his teacher deliver a bad report. Through the medication I heard “bolting, yelling, behavior plan, spelling homework tonight.” Oversensitive perhaps, but I swear I heard a hint of ‘Nick’s probably acting out because he’s not getting a lot of attention at home while you are sick.’ I hit my back on the rear-view mirror of the car parked too close to us in the parking lot. Rage. For the third afternoon in a row I let Nick stim for two hours on trains on the computer and felt only moderately guilty about it. Dave’s coat was still on the floor, by the way.
Day Four-Thursday
We were attempting to be back to normal which was possible only because mom was heavily medicated. I went through the motions like a good Stepford Wife. I washed my hair which made me feel human. I stole some of Neely’s Halloween candy to even the score. I glared helplessly at the mountains of laundry. Nick was scheduled for an early release from school and in my shattered frame of mind it felt personal! Because of the pain meds I hadn’t pooped since the Lincoln administration so I awkwardly did one of Nick’s enemas. The results of the enema kicked in while I was negotiating the car pick up line for Neely’s school – fun times. Because I was upright, my family assumed I was recovered and gave me very little leeway. Strangely, I missed being completely immobile? Dave’s coat – yup, still on the floor.
Day Five-Friday
Before leaving for work my husband eyed the four full bags of recycling and the overflowing kitchen garbage can and mumbled something that sounded like he thought I should have taken care of it. If I could have lifted the trash can I would have dumped it over his head. This one comment undid every act of tenderness he had shown me in the last week. Did I want to take the Vicodin that day because my back still hurt or because I was mad at the world? I called Mountain Momma and she made me feel better because every ounce of her understands, and there is nothing you can tell her that is too dark or too frightening or heartbroken. She can take it all. The Rev checked in and by the end of the call we were both laughing because she is insanely funny and our lives are so absurd.
I felt like my family only valued me as a workhorse. Dave and I talked this out via texting later in the morning. Something about the brief messaging and emotional coolness of typing helped us to really get through it. He felt bad. He had tried to share what was going on at home, autism meets mom with back injury, with one of his V.P.’s at work who had replied, “Hey, we all have excuses.” I wanted to shove my shoe down that V.P.’s throat.
We had almost made it to the weekend. Dave’s coat was still lying on the floor, but there was a pearl in this Salmonella oyster of a week. Nick had begun using ‘why questions’ heavily. I firmly believe this ability to abstract more deeply has come from sweeping out some of the bulk of the bacterial load mucking up his brain. This flare of crazy die-off behavior, which threw out my back, was well worth it in the end.
What to do with all that rage I have been shoveling into my lower back all these years? No quick answers, although my instinct is to continue to channel it into words and to use it in our fight for justice and healing for our children. According to my back though, I am going to need to raise the volume and the intensity.
I’m dedicating this blog post to all the single autism parents who probably live in terror of getting sick. Since many of us are managing very immature behavior in kids getting bigger and bigger, I hope everybody will take beautiful care of their backs. And to the NT families out there – I have a ‘why question’ for you: When an autism mom in your circle gets sick why not dive into action and give her the help she desperately needs?
~ Mama Mac
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Moms aren’t allowed sick days. Autism moms live in fear of sick days. Earlier this year, I spent 3 months in the hospital. 3 months. My husband, who supported diets, supplements and therapies, never learned any of these things. He got a crash course in autism-stay-at-home-mommy craziness. I had to make a list of what supplements at what time. He would call me from the grocery store reading labels. It was extremely difficult on both of us and our boys… but we all survived and now my husband is on even playing field with me. And we have amazing friends and family that helped a lot. We truly are blessed, but I would not want to do it again. Ever.
Alison, I had no idea. I’ve had a chance to read some of your blogs, and The Revolution is lucky to have you on its team. Your and Dave’s unbeatable love and dedication will surely help Nick to kick autism’s arse. Now, tell Dave to pick up his coat. His father had to remind him to pick up his clothes all the time when we were kids. In the meantime, I’ll spread the word.
Have you heard of the MMS protocol for autism? I know, I am sure you’ve heard of it all by now, so have I. MMS- fixes mitochondrial problems, gets rid of heavy metals and all pathogens (viruses, parasites, yeast, bacteria, fungus, etc) at the same time. You can reduce the amount of supplements you use and keep a clean GFCFSF diet free of processed foods. AutismOne recovered almost 40 kiddos from autism in less than 2 years following the protocol.
http://www.autismone.org/content/38-children-recovered-20-months-mms-a0-2012
Many of our kids with ASD and other issues are still struggling with these things and progress is slow, temporary or non-existant. I know my own kiddo has some of those.
Oh man back out of whack is the WORST! I’ve gone through it 3+ times in life. usually out for a week on heavy meds. Of course before kids and autism.
Hope you get back to 100% soon. Back strengthening exercises and yoga can really help.
wonderful post. I loved the jacket updates.. too funny.
Ana
Lol awesome job! Loved reading this.
OH MamaMac, how I know the scene. Back out, sick, bad tude from the hubs and chaos ensues. P would put my back out via the noodle and even had me in the CAT scan machine from kicking me in the head. But when Nick gets to 12 and is doing great like Patrick, he’ll be a piece of cake (ok well no kid is THAT, but you know what I mean). I just know it.
Hubby came home tonight (coat is still on floor) and told me the V.P. who had been such an ass has an absess tooth with an infection going down into the bone. Apparently they had to drill to China. Karma’s a bitch!
this is going to make me sound like a hateful woman and well maybe i am…but HELL YES! Finally an asshole who gets theirs!!!!!!!!!!
Love you, even thou I have never met you. thank you for putting into words the very fear that has kept me up many many nights. …and yes I finally got it in the recent months that we must take care of our bodys as much as our kids bodys or there will be no mommy around to protect our kids
Dear Alison, So sorry to hear what an awful time you have been going through. I hope that you are feeling much better now and things are returning to “normal”
I HIGHLY recommend kickboxing classes - not only does this keep your core strong (and thus your back!), but it is also an EXCELLENT way to get out the rage!! Truly, it is such a saving grace for me. I have so many targets (think Paul Offit, Nancy Snyderman, the CDC, Amanda Peet, etc., etc.) on the receiving end of every punch and kick . . . so much motivation to work my butt off in every class! When my instructor tells us to picture a target for each punch and kick, unfortunately, I seem to have an endless supply. Try it, you’ll like it 
Alison,
You do the impossible.
Hugs,
Anne
OMG, so sorry that you are going through this. I can relate, though. A year and a half ago or so, I got soooo sick that I could barely move, vomiting profusely and weak. My hubby had to have a lady who was a caregiver for us just to help him take care of the kids. My youngest was, and still is, joined at the hip to me, so Daddy wasn’t cutting it. My other daughter has a dual dx of DS-ASD, so she needed constant attention. The supplements didn’t even happen because I just couldn’t think straight and needed to sleep. After two days, my hubby was frustrated that I wasn’t back in action again, and that made me so mad. We also don’t have family to help and the respite money that we do get from the state is next to nothing. It covers a few hours and that’s about it. Also, finding a caregiver that is reliable and trustworthy has been next to impossible. Let’s face it guys and gals, we’re in this on our own. If something happened to us, that would be it.
As for the wet noodle thing, this is what we in the Down Syndrome community like to call the “Stop, Drop, and Flop.” Our kids slide down to the floor and then fold in half. And no, I am not exaggerating. They are “very bendy” as Phoebe liked to say about herself on Friends, lol! It’s a nightmare, especially if your grown daughter or son does it, lol!
It’s truly FABULOUS that Nick is asking “why” questions!
When my oldest son was 5, I was so worried about the fact that he never asked “why questions” that I began asking them for him, and then answering. I treated every issue as though I were explaining how we do things here on Earth to someone visiting from Mars. I asked the “why” questions for him, and my answers contained every possible reason I could think of, as well as every possible EXCEPTION. I played into his understanding of “these are the rules” while teaching him that almost every rule had a time and place where it did not work and was not upheld, and the reasons why.
He is in almost every way recovered; he is in high school, and doing wonderfully well. But even now, it’s extremely rare for him to ask a “why” question.
Thank you for reminding me that I should probably give more thought to this aspect of his development, even now. Take joy and comfort in the fact that Nick is asking these questions, and enjoy, no, RELISH answering them!
I can completely relate. I am TERRIFIED of getting sick. I had surgery recently and was told to wait 4-6 weeks before any exertion. I simply laughed at the doctor. I didn’t touch the Percosets tht were prescribed…..are you ready for this? ……not because I didn’t want or need them, but rather because I thought “I better save that for a day I REALLY need them. Lol. Really???? Autism moms have such a high tolerance for pain that we tend to neglect the signs that our bodies are about to give out. I know you…..love you….and respect you tremendously. If you were taking Vicodin then the pain was excruciating. Love you!!! So sorry the repressed stress got you this time. I hope you are feeling better and I hope your family appreciates all you do. You are a strong and amazing mother. My hat off to you <3
It’s frightening, just the thought of being out of commission. You handled this well, despite what you may think. I have had to learn to scream in a pillow and cry in the shower in lieu of bottling. It has been very beneficial for my heart and now Fri. I have surgery to remove this cardiac loop recorder, and I am off all heart meds. This did not happen overnight but realizing I’m all they have, made me uncork the two things I am still too proud to do in public, scream and cry. I do them now and they have been more beneficial than the meds that I have been released from. Physical ailments absolutely can stem from our emotional banking, I hope EVERYBODY reads this! To your health! Cheers, Love! ♥
Oh my…I *hate* laughing at others misfortunes…I really do. But your writing is so damn funny. And relatable. It’s just all so damned ridiculous sometimes. You really captured that. And I hope like hell you burned the damn coat.
Oh, how I know that SO many of us can SO relate to this wonderful (and wonderfully funny) article! Thank you for sharing your crazy week with us so we can know that there are other warrior moms out there facing similar challenges to what we’re facing in our own homes (this reminded me of a time a few years ago when I ripped my calf muscle just as I had hired a new tutor who needed to be trained). Glad for the happy ending…that your back is on the mend, and that your son is asking “Why” questions…great news! Take care…and don’t hold your breath for that help from the NT families…it will only add to your rage. Accept that it won’t be forthcoming, be thankful for your fellow “autism” moms, and if it happens to come unexpectedly, jump for joy and tell that family they are a true gem. Thanks again for putting your experience into words for the rest of us
I relate to this post in more than one way…..I also frequently feel like a workhorse and only valued for what I can DO and not who I am.
I feel totally helpless and even GUILTY when I am not my best. Husband offers NO empathy. My oldest son is more caring and tries to help, but he has his limits too.
Rage. That is one of the biggest for me. I stuff it down too. It rears its ugly head once in a while but I have never let myself feel the full magnitude of it, too scared I could never go back.
I am angry at those who did this to my son, and to our family…angry at extended family who don’t get it and don’t try and rarely help. Angry at myself. Yes, a LOT of anger.
I wish I had other moms to talk to who get the rage, and the injustice and understand about diet, supplements, etc…
Lori, you do have other moms and we are right here. We totally get it. Every bit
I get you, Lori. I often feel frustrated and angry. It’s so freaking hard. Others don’t get it until they have to go through it themselves. The CDC, the media and the government tries to point the finger at us parents because of our kiddos autism. (Got sick when you were pregnant, had a child when you were older, kiddo got a fever, you got a fever when prego, bad genes,etc) Never mind the extremely high numbers of shots on the immunization schedules, the toxins in our foods and the air and in nearly everything, all the GMO foods everywhere. I wish often I could go back to his first year and would have thought harder, questioned more, questioned the doctors and what everyone told me was safe and okay, because it really wasn’t. Shots weren’t good for him, soy formula was really bad for him, and daycare a bad decision too when he was always sick.
Hang in there, Lori. Can you find a local support group for autistic parents? Going to those saved my life.
OMG this IS MY LIFE! Along with the rage I have shoved in my back and the stress from picking up my 45 lb son who throws himself on the floor mutiple times per day in tantrums like a limp noodle. I have a degenerated disc and NO ONE gets it! They (my family) can’t “see” that I’m “sick” so therefore I can’t be sick!! Somedays the pain is just too much but no one can “see” it! This scenario that you have played out is so very REAL in my house on a weekly basis! We have a set of 4 year old twin boys (one is on the spectrum) and a 17 year old daughter! She is and has been very helpful to me but she is gone a lot now that she is almost 18 and graduated, I am bitter about that too
Most days I just feel like a workhorse!
flippin exhauseted actually LOL
I have NOTHING written down for anyone if something were to happen to me!!
NM the fact that I have chronic pain…….I just push through because well there is NO OTHER OPTION!
I am angry and bitter because I hurt and no one cares or understands!
I have a husband that travels for work weekly, when he comes home and the house doesn’t meet his expectations he is NOT afraid to say something about it!
I swear he thinks all I do is sit and eat bon bons all day……..
My heating pad and my pain meds on the real bad days/nights are the only relief I get
I LOVE MY KIDS!! I’m just TIRED
Thank you for writing this!! I am printing it and giving it to my husband! and everyone else I know!! I just have to laugh when people tell me I need to slow down and take care of myself……… oh really when and while I’m doing that WHO is going to take care of my children?? for a day? or an hour? take them to school & therapy. Deal with the supp’s, the tantrums, the baths, the poops and the list goes on and on as you all know for the one on the spectrum and the NT twin as well! I sure don’t hear any volunteers!!
I hope your back heals up quickly!! This one sure hit home for me!! Have a GREAT DAY!! 
I am SO sorry you had to go through this nightmare.
When my youngest was 5 weeks old, I fell down the stairs while holding her (long story-it was right after she’d been hospitalized for 4 days, and I had not slept in 5 days). I managed to protect her, but knocked 2 vertabrae out of place and cracked my tailbone.
The pain was unbelievable.
I had been to one chiropractor before, who had convinced me that they were all quacks.
But my doctor’s PA, bless his heart, convinced me to try another one, which he went to. So I grudgingly agreed, and my husband drove me to the first visit. I couldn’t even stand up straight, let alone drive.
I walked out of that first visit-standing up straight-with about 85% of the pain gone. Once I healed more, he also gave me exercises to do, first to regain strength and motion, and then as prophylactic against further injury, since, once you injure it, it’s prone to more injury. He did NOT insist that I commit to any kind of schedule after the initial month or two, where I went 2-3 times a week; after that, it was “call for an appointment when you need me.”
I really, really hope you can find the same kind of relief. I know that there are some chiropractors out there who, just like some MDs, are total quacks. But some are truly lifesavers.
If you don’t already have one you like, please get recommendations (from people whose opinions you trust). I tend to avoid the ones who deal with supplements and sell their own brand, etc., but I know some people who swear by them.
If you think it would help, I can ask my chiropractor if he happens to know anyone he would recommend in your area.
Best wishes for a quick recovery, total elimination of pain, and I’m sending you strength, patience, and (gentle) hugs.
P.S.-What to do about the rage? Honestly, I’m not convinced that that has THAT much to do with your back, though I do think it affects every aspect of our health. The one thing I can tell you that I often forget to do is to BREATHE. Too often, I find myself clenching everything-teeth, jaws, fists, feet-and it affects how I breathe. As in, I don’t take in nearly enough air, which makes me clench even more tightly.
Unclench. And breathe. Kinda like being in labor. The best advice I got from the Lamaze coach was that it doesn’t matter HOW you breathe. It matters that you REMEMBER to breathe. (Since I had severe hyperemesis, the Lamaze breathing made me gag, so I was SO relieved to hear this one.) And people who run marathons don’t breathe Lamaze breathing. They unclench. And breathe.
HTH.
I am an autism mom who has unfortunately been sick for the last 10 years- I especially love it when the helpful advisors tell me to “get up earlier”- at least you do have a partner to help a little bit- even if he won’t pick up his coat.
Help from NT anyone just ain’t coming.Ain’t nobody got time for that. Nobody wants what we have and fears we will put a pox on them somehow. Just the facts mam, sorry it sucks so much, but so it goes.It gets lonely on our side of the planet.
Stay strong mother warriors!Slow and steady will get you to the finish line regardless of whether you “win” the race or not.Sending hugs.Praying for hope and recovery for all.
How to be truly thankful on Thanksgiving Day-go where your family will be celebrated, not just tolerated.It takes years to finally admit that sometimes happiness means keeping it real with your expectations: give up on working overtime to make special days special be navigating others to assure they don’t ruin the good times you crave for your own kids by not being “nice” or “helpful”( said it before and I’ll keep saying it).
My husband Rich, Michael-18, Anna-15 3/4 and I are staying home and watching all 3 Lord of the Rings-extended versions movies ( we can’t wait to see the Hobbit, premieres December 18) while we eat as much as we want in whatever clothes are clean and comfy while Matthew-13 dx autism: aka vaccine inured, like all in our family suffering serious chronic illness, with him baring the worst of it, watches You Tube to his heart’s content.
Our cats: Sylvester and Cha-cha can snuggle up with us instead of being locked away from cat haters when they every once in a blue moon visits us at home.
Haters gonna hate, even cats!
We are ALL looking forward to it! No bullshit and sucky treatment from “family” that ends with us wishing we had stayed home.
How nice, a holiday without tears and fears, just fun and love, the way it is supposed to be.Yeah baby!Not the first time we will have done this and certainly not the last-eventually it will probably be this way most or all of the holidays are , and that’s Ok with us.
Much love.
Barbara Biegaj in Chicago( Oak Park)
I am so glad we are friends. You make me proud. This insanity will end. Recovery is coming to you. And you deserve every last bit of it. Love to you always.
So sorry you went through this. But love that you survived it and could share your story. I actually laughed out loud at a couple places — I think many people can relate to various parts of it! Message in the bottle indeed …
All I can say is that WHY questions are the holy grail for kids with limited language. That is incredible. I am soooooo sorry for what you have been through. Sounds worse than awful. I can totally relate to being the unappreciated work horse of the family. Actually, I can totally relate to every single word you typed. I feel ya. I think we need to become unavailable every once in a while so that your hubby’s remember what they are so lucky not to have to do. I am happy that you are feeling better.