Thank heavens that the FDA has finally started cracking down on this so-called ‘natural medicine’ that people have been so dangerously using in their homes, with their families and even their children. Essential Oils (EOs) could perhaps be the most dangerous unapproved health intervention ever to face the nation. Thankfully there are plenty of marginally tested prescription and over-the-counter solutions for all your health concerns. Here is what the FDA wants you to know about the dangers of Essential Oils:
- DO NOT ever use EOs for any type of skin condition. This is just plain dangerous. Just because Frankincense and Myrrh have been around since biblical times does not mean they are safe. The FDA does not approve. Your doctor can prescribe a wonderful steroid cream for whatever rash ails you.
- DO NOT use EOs to try to calm your children down. Lavender? Seriously? We approve all kinds of anti-anxiety meds for this very purpose. Lavender has not been tested on children. It is not FDA approved for any purpose other than use in soaps, and we are looking into that now too.
- DO NOT use EOs for nausea, constipation or stomach upset. Peppermint is a toothpaste flavor people. If you have digestive trouble may we suggest Miralax, or some other chemical derivative? Let’s be sensible.
- DO NOT use EOs for fevers. The thieves or four thieves blend that is so popular? No. Just . . . no. Why do you think Tylenol got approved? Yeah, there have been some contamination issues at the J&J facilities, but really. Tylenol is SAFE. You don’t really need glutathione anyway.
- DO NOT use EOs for sinus infections. Tea tree oil? Hell. To. The. NO. Mucinex, Sudafed (you can always make meth! Yeah, bitch!) and other addictive nasal sprays are all available.
- DO NOT use EOs for ADD. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’ve heard about cedarwood. All it will do is make you smell like a sweater storage bin. If your kid (or you) really has attention problems, we’ve approved amazing meds like Ritalin for this very purpose. Also DO NOT worry about the side effects. They are rare. Really, rare. Trust us.
- DO NOT use EOs for focus issues. Vetiver? Citrus oils? One word: Adderal. Enough said.
- Do NOT use EOs for erectile dysfunction. Shhhhh. Word on the street is Blue Spruce works, but come on. Spruce is a Christmas tree. Go with Cialis or Viagra. Just be careful about that four-hour thing.
As you can see, there is absolutely no reason to use Essential Oils for your healthcare needs. We have everything you could possibly need on the shelves of your local pharmacy, and we are constantly approving stronger, more powerful medicines for even the simplest health complaints. We care about you! And to prove how much we care about your health, the FDA has really begun cracking down on these people babbling on about how wonderful Essential Oils are in their blogs and on social media. You’re welcome, America!
Love, the FDA
Warning: We’ve found about a bazillion uses for lavender. DO NOT use lavender EO for anything at all. Ever. Even though we hear that it can help with cuts, burns, respiratory infections, high blood pressure, arteriosclerosis, menstrual problems/PMS, skin conditions (such as acne, eczema, psoriasis, scarring, stretch marks), hair loss, insomnia, nervous tension, do we need to go on? Don’t do it! We will get medieval on your ass. Side effects include . . . We are still looking; we’ll get back to you.
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A SATIRE PIECE SIMILAR TO WHAT YOU WOULD FIND IN THE PUBLICATION, THE ONION. THIS IS NOT A STATEMENT FROM THE FDA. THIS POST IS SIMPLY HIGHLIGHTING, IN A HUMOROUS WAY, THE RIDICULOUSNESS OF THE FDA CRACKDOWN ON ESSENTIAL OILS. THANK YOU FOR READING.
~ Sunshine
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To the (few) who commented that EOs can be harmful and so therefore it is high time the FDA get their fingers in the pot and their panties in a bunch: yes, EOs can cause serious injury. And responsible distributors and wholesale members will make sure that is put out in classes. But the number of adverse reactions reported to the poison control numbers is a fraction of those reported for *FDA-approved* OTCs and prescription pills even when taken according to direction. Also with the increase in chemicals and toxic elements “recommended” for our bodies, along with doctors’ inability to fix us, merely managing the symptoms, I’ll gladly take my chances. The biggest issue here with the FDA is that not only has our right to free speech been stifled through threats of what will happen merely by sharing what we’ve used to take care of our own bodies and families, but the gov’t has once again found a way to treat us like children and remove the information available on a free-market exchange, and taken away our ability to make educated decisions for ourselves. Please do not delude yourselves into thinking this will be the end. More will come. They will find a way to shut down health information so we are all enrolled comfortably and “safely” (snort!) in the gov’t’s national healthcare system, but our right to homeschool is under threat on a daily basis (ask me how I know), and our rights to parent as we see fit is also under serious and continual threat (take a look at the CPS stories out there all over the country right now and know that there are thousands o families working in the system who should never have had their children taken away.) This piece is an excellent satire piece. You are trolls who took it to an unwelcome level - but in response I that know that some *thig* you hold dear will be threatened next. It is the government way right now, and it’s frightening.
I’m going to try to keep this brief and to the point. EO’s AREN’T harmful!! Unless you don’t follow the instructions on the label, then I suppose you might experience burning, for example if you put cinnamon bark in or on any mucous membranes. Common sense, that would burn! DUH! So, I suppose that is harmful. EO’s are made from the same plants that GOD put here! For the purpose of supporting our bodies NATURAL processes!!! Pharma drugs, are harmful, just look at the NUMEROUS side effects listed! DUH!
that idea is really old, you guys need to stop using it. Foxglove is the plant that digoxin comes from. cyanide comes from plants, ricin comes from plants. just like medicines come from plants poisons also come from plants. That argument doesn’t work at all!
Yep. You’re absolutely right. Plants CAN kill as well as heal (though, I’m sure you know that foxglove is also where the heart medicine digitalis comes from). Of course, we’re not exactly packaging ricin up and promoting it for healing, though, are we?
TOTALLY AGREE WTIH YOU MELISSA!!!
You can ingest essential oils, but it depends on who makes them. Some companies out there genetically modify their oils so that it smells like lavender, but does not contain any at all or trace amounts at best. My oils company has me in mind, and makes perfectly safe, pure, and 100% organic oils. Depends on who you side with. Remember, in most cases you get what you pay for.
May I suggest an edit? I think most people are unaware that some nasal sprays STILL contain thimerosal, which is STILL FDA-approved for prescription eye drops, ear drops-and nasal sprays.
Perhaps the downline multilevel marketing peeps shouldn’t be suggesting that EO’s cure HIV/AIDS and Ebola.
There is a gigantic difference between saying they can help alleviate headaches, fight germs, help you focus and actually cure a deadly diseases.
YL and Doterra may not have said those things, but their people are. I have seen it on my FB feed.
EO”S can help support your immune system, and can ASSIST in maintaining over all health.
Love this! I was just saying to my husband how ridiculous the FDA is being with EOs.
Hilarious!
Brilliant!
And whatever you do, don’t tell people about the NYU study finding that taking lavender orally was as effective in reducing anxiety as the leading prescription anxiety medication. (or all the other NYU eo findings).
http://www.med.nyu.edu/content?ChunkIID=37427
The FDA was right, in this case. These companies are encouraging essential oils to be taken internally. There is very harmful information that is being churned out right and left all in the name of profit. No one should ever recommend the consumption of essential oils. People have been hospitalized from eo consumption. This is a serious issue and perhaps the FDA finally speaking up will save a few unknowing, innocent eo users from irreparable damage. The natural living community is really dropping the ball on his one when they refuse to admit that, yes, there is, in fact, a serious problem.
- an essential oil user of 7 yrs.
Well Rebekah, Although EO ingestion is not recommended in most cases, food grade EO’s are very good to ingest and have a very powerful wellness factor. Having used 100% certified organic, food grade EO’s for well over 7 years myself I can tell you they are safe and work incredible, as thousands of our customers have experienced.
Rick, you are right. The complaint from the FDA had nothing to do with oils being taken internally. Some oils have the FDA Supplement Facts label on them.
Rebekah, I appreciate your post but I don’t feel that ALL essential oils are created equal. Not naming any names because each person needs to check out the company’s on their own and make your own decision on how they are grown, how they are processed and if they are pure or have any synthetics or additives that shouldn’t be consumed. To me, if it’s not pure enough to put in your mouth then you shouldn’t be putting it on your skin either since your skin is your biggest organ. Everything that goes on our skin goes through our liver and kidney’s and into every cell of our bodies. The plants that are being used for essential oils better be pure enough to take internally or you shouldn’t be using them.
Rick is 100% right!
Hilarious. Thanks for the much-needed laugh!
Thanks for sharing, well said
This was great!! Yep FDA is all over protecting us - that’s why they are on Monsanto’s side of the GMOs cause we all need to ingest RoundUp in our food - yep, we don’t want to interfere with the cycle of Big Pharma develops, sells and profits; FDA approves and lawyers everywhere profit from the bad drug lawsuits….
It’s not like plants and herbs have been used for thousands of years to address ailments… oh wait…
Excellent post! Loved it
This was fantastic, and much needed! The absolute absurdity, mixed with blatant lies and corruption, of the FDA is matched only by that of the CDC and USDA. Our family has become big fans of essential oils in the past year and only wish we’d known about them years earlier.
Loved this; thank you! Is anybody else outraged with me at the blatant violation of our First Amendment Right to Free Speech with the FDA? While they approve and assist large companies in deceiving the public daily, they declare that I cannot tell anyone that after taking Rx drugs for migraines for decades, I now find relief with Essential Oils??!! While I want to protect the integrity of my company for their safety, I am beyond frustrated that any branch of this democratic government, funded by our tax dollars, gets away with telling millions of natural health supporters what facts they can share about personal experiences. Debating Change.org, but need support
Please make a YouTube video of this one and spread the word further. Pure genius!!
I do kind of wish a certain couple companies would shut their mouth so we could keep under the radar!
Both the FDA and the FCC protect Big Business whether it is Big Telecom or Big Pharma (just look at the current FCC and FDA directors). Wireless radiation is a Class 2B possible carcinogen in the same category as Lead, DDT, and chloroform. The FDA approves of GMO’s which have been linked to illness.
So hilarious! I think we all need to laugh at the absurdity lately! Thanks for this.
i really thought this is true if it wasn’t for the disclaimer! haha
Me too! A highly respected holistic healing page on Facebook posted this and I got really, really sad until the disclaimer! Apparently I don’t understand sarcasm very well…